


Exhibit N

by AvenaSativa



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dub-Con (Chapter 5), Erotica, Exhibitionism, M/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-11 03:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 51,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3312236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvenaSativa/pseuds/AvenaSativa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke only wanted a nice quiet night at the theater, but a certain blond athlete showed up and put on an entirely different kind of show. Was it just a freak incident, or could there be something more to it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exhibit N - Chapter 1

Sasuke gave a subtle smirk of satisfaction as he headed toward his favorite seat in the theater. The back center was open once again, and once again he congratulated himself on his designated film-viewing procedure. He preferred to experience the productions without distraction, so not only did he arrive early to a screening, but he also let the showings run for a few months before finally attending - a small matter of discipline, but one he commended himself for nonetheless.

With fewer people to annoy him, the price of admission seemed more equitable. The riser seating in the rear of the theater guaranteed he wouldn't be looking at the back of anybody's head, and the back row not only put his eyes level with the screen, but also assured him that nobody could ever bother him from behind.

He pulled down the lower cushion of the folding seat and took a deep breath as he sat down and relaxed into its soft foam. He swung his legs apart and together a few times, pressing them against the armrests and returning to their straight position. The armrests were plastic pads resting on a metal divider, but at least they were contoured and smooth rather than rectangular with uncomfortable edges. He stretched his arms and placed them on the rests. The seats were fairly spacious compared to most other theaters, allowing him to shift his legs from side to side and rest his arms at about a forty-five-degree angle from his side. This kept his underarms from getting sweaty, and was another reason he preferred fewer people to share an armrest with.

Looking out at the theater, it was emptier than he had expected. Only two people were in the floor-level seating area at the front, and one other person was near the lower right of the riser seating area at the back. He knew that drama films weren't exactly summer blockbusters, but he expected a greater turnout for something featuring such prominent actors, even if it would be mostly older adults. Having recently turned eighteen, he knew he wasn't exactly the target demographic for films exploring such mature personal themes, but it was also late in the evening, and most of the intended audience should have been off from work hours ago.

It was no matter though. The fewer people, the better. In the ten minutes before the previews for forthcoming films began, only two other people showed up. One took a seat up front, and the other took a seat at the first step of the riser seats. As the lights dimmed, it seemed that tonight would be a calm and relaxing film-viewing experience like any other.

And then _he_ showed up. It was during the fifth and final preview. Sasuke looked to his left as the figure walking down the entryway path came to a stop and looked to the right, seemingly scanning the seats for an open spot. The guy was, in a word, enormous. Even from a distance, Sasuke could estimate that he had to be at least six and a half feet tall. He wore a light basketball jersey with very thin neck straps and large armholes, and the flashing images from the screen along with the dim aisle lights highlighted the sleek curves and hefty bulk of an incredibly muscular physique. Sasuke supposed the jersey was supposed to hang below waist level, but the guy's immense height left it barely reaching there. Below, he had a matching pair of darker basketball shorts that ended a few inches above his knees, revealing a small but significant portion of his thigh muscles. Sasuke supposed the shorts were supposed to be loose and baggy like most other players', but the guy's thick legs left them a tight fit. And apparently he had found his desired seat, because he turned around and began walking up the steps of the riser seating. As he came closer, Sasuke could see the design of the outfit: the jersey was white with vibrant maroon numbers, stripes, and a spiraled leaf logo, while the shorts were maroon with white highlights. And then he knew.

The guy was Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's teenage athletic sensation. Touted by newspapers as the ultimate high school athlete, there wasn't a sport or activity he wasn't overqualified for or couldn't reach top ranks in. He was agile enough that he could maneuver a soccer ball through any opposing crowd, large enough that he could charge through football players like bowling pins, flexible enough to perform elite gymnastics moves, strong enough that he could dominate any weightlifting competitions, and fast enough that he could challenge any top sprinters or racers, but his immense height led him to pick basketball as his primary competitive pursuit. At six foot nine, he was already above the average height for professional leagues, and head and shoulders above most other high school athletes.

Anybody remotely connected with the high school athletic scene had heard of Naruto and his propensity for collecting athletic records and prizes like a kid collecting candy on Halloween. He was cycling through all the sports that Konoha High had to offer, alternating between teams to cover every fall, winter, and spring sport that was available, with the intent of claiming at least one high school record for each sport. Many times he took on at least two sports per semester, and although this was often frowned upon by the athletic directors due to the inevitable scheduling conflicts, the coaches were more than happy to let the issue slide for any amount of participation from him. And true to his intent, he held one or more high school records for every sport he'd joined. Often they were related to points scored or top performances, but there were also a few miscellaneous ones, like most sacks in football or most body checks in hockey. He even held a few individual records in public leagues, like his weightlifting eighteen-to-nineteen age group, with the state record for bench press, national record for deadlift, and international record for squat.

And he was walking up the steps of Sasuke's seating area. Apart from being drawn to his sheer presence, Sasuke couldn't help but give him a skeptical glance. If there was anybody who was as far from this film's target demographic as could be, it was Naruto. Certainly, you couldn't make a blanket statement about a person's entertainment interests from their involvement in sports, but for somebody like Naruto who lived and breathed athletics, participating in all his team trainings in addition to his own self-imposed "routine from hell" (as one paper put it), his attendance just seemed out of place.

Apart from his initial entry, Sasuke wouldn't have given it a second thought, but as the guy stepped closer and closer to the back aisle, his attention was inevitably drawn to the approaching figure. Sure, the upper rows were a good place to sit. There was nothing suspicious about that - Sasuke sat there as often as possible. Nor was there anything particularly suspicious about aiming for the back row in particular - in Naruto's case, it was probably a common courtesy to not sit in front of another viewer for the sake of letting them see any part of the screen at all. But here, with only six other people in the theater, it shouldn't have been a problem for him to take his own row - yet here he came, partially sidestepping right-foot-first down the back aisle toward Sasuke. And when it became clear that they were going to have to acknowledge each other in some way, Sasuke tightened up and pulled his legs and arms in, in case the guy would pass him.

The final preview had ended when the guy started down the aisle, and as the main film began, he indeed passed Sasuke by. Though the aisle was wide enough for the average slender person to walk straight, a guy with legs as big as Naruto's had to take half-steps since there wasn't enough room for him to put one leg in front of the other. As he took his first step in front of Sasuke, his right calf brushed the front of Sasuke's shins and kneecaps. Sasuke had been focused on Naruto's exponentially increasing height as he approached, and so stared at his torso, not wanting to make eye contact. But now the touch of skin against skin drew his attention downward, and he looked at the large muscle at the bottom of Naruto's leg. It was nearly as wide as both of his calves put next to each other, and similarly thick. It was no wonder the guy had such incredible air time in his basketball games.

As he took his next step and paused to Sasuke's right, Sasuke found himself staring directly at his backside. His eyes scanned his body upward from his calves to his head, taking in the immense figure in all its athletic grandeur. His thighs were like two thick columns of carved muscle, and even through the shorts, he could see the separate bulges of his hamstrings and his inner-thigh muscles, as well as the outward curve from the sides of the muscles spanning the front of his legs. His butt was tall and wide, and puffed out like two balloons. Sasuke thought those tall and narrow glute muscles some other guys were proud to show off looked silly, but Naruto's were nearly as wide as his thighs. Their shapes made him think of two melon-sized kidney beans, and upon realizing he was comparing his butt to food, he skimmed up to his back. It was said that the back was the mark of the true athlete, and if that were true, then Naruto deserved his praise as the ultimate high school athlete. His back was shaped like a small landscape of crests and grooves, and had the V-contour that was so popular among athletes. "Wings," those V-shaped muscles were often called, and he had them to impressive degree, but not so blown-out that they pushed his arms to the side. He supposed that if Naruto were a normal height, his amount of musculature might make him look like a professional bodybuilding competitor, but stretched across his incredibly tall frame, it took on a sleek athletic look that was both powerful as well as elegant and aesthetic.

Finally, he looked up at the spiky blond mop of hair atop Naruto's head. It was then that he realized just how colossal the guy was. He'd seen his pictures in the paper and online, and could easily tell he was quite a large guy, but seeing him in person, looking up at him from a seated position, he found it simply staggering. It was like looking at the exaggerated ground-up character drawings in comic books that were always used when things are about to get serious. Sasuke had always believed such a thing to be only a staple of the world of cartoons, but here it was in real life. It gave him a little butterfly in his stomach.

He was drawn out of his reverie when he noticed that the blond had pulled down the lower cushion of the seat next to him and turned sideways to sit down. _Now_ Sasuke was suspicious, and he glanced at Naruto's descending form with a quick look of puzzlement before he returned his gaze to the screen. Even if the guy did like back center, he could have taken the next seat over.

That thought was vanquished as soon as Naruto fully took his seat. Sasuke was glad he had also pulled his arms in when he anticipated Naruto passing by, because his incredibly broad shoulders reached ever so slightly past the outsides of the armrests, and as his arms came down to rest, Sasuke found his right shoulder pressed into the groove between the blond's biceps and triceps.

He considered pulling away and leaning to the left, but feared that might draw attention to himself. With another glance to the right, he noticed Naruto seemed to take no heed of his presence. He hadn't looked at him as he walked up the steps to the top, hadn't acknowledged him as he passed by, didn't seem concerned that his shoulder and arm were pressing into Sasuke's seating space, and was now focusing entirely on the screen. He also noticed that Naruto wouldn't see him staring at him. All the muscle of his posterior had pressed him forward and upward, putting his line of sight well in front of Sasuke's.

And stare at him, Sasuke did. He looked directly to his right at the large round shoulder. Those were most definitely what the athletic community referred to as "cannonballs." He lowered his eyes to where his own shoulder was pressing into Naruto's arm. The guy's biceps alone were larger than his own arm. He skimmed across his forearm. It was nearly as big as his upper arm, and didn't seem to diminish in size until nearly halfway to the wrist. He briefly noticed his large hands were wrapped around the end of the armrests, but his attention was quickly drawn to the blond's thighs. They were crammed between the armrests with no space to spare, and he knew that if the guy tried to spread his legs apart even the slightest bit, he'd bend the dividers and snap the armrests out of position. They were also as high as they were wide, the sweep of his front thigh muscles making an arc that rose well above the level of the armrests. Sasuke looked down to where his own arms were resting on top of his legs. Even the tops of his arms were inches below the armrest.

It wasn't that Sasuke didn't maintain his own physique. He regularly exercised using calisthenics, and would go on a moderate jog or run at least three times a week. He was in excellent condition, and anybody looking at him could tell he was fit and active. But next to such an extreme athlete, he felt like an eight-year-old child sitting next to a grown adult. It gave him another little butterfly in his stomach.

Seeing as the situation between him and the blond had reached a standstill, Sasuke returned his attention to the screen. He would occasionally glance up at the blond, but his attention seemed to be wholly focused on the film.

After about fifteen minutes, he heard the occasional slight scratching sound from the seat next to him. Figuring the guy was just rubbing a fingertip or two through his shorts to relieve a small itch, he paid it no mind. After a few minutes, it became more frequent and louder, prompting him to glance down. He gave a surprised look as he saw two of the blond's right fingertips graze at the upper center of his shorts. _'Is this guy scratching his dick!?'_ Sasuke thought. He rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the screen. _'Whatever.'_

He followed the events in the film for a few more minutes, until the scratching sound grew slightly louder and became constant. He glanced down again, only to see the blond using all four fingertips to scratch at an increasingly clear rod-shaped outline aimed down the blond's right leg. _'Oh no,'_ he thought as he looked back up at the screen, then immediately down again. _'No way.'_

The blond scratched for a few more minutes before moving his hand back to the armrest. Sasuke breathed a small sigh of relief at what might have become a very awkward situation. But after a small break, the guy returned to his activity, this time holding his right-hand fingers outward and rubbing back and forth with their undersides. He would briefly pause, then continue at a slightly quicker pace. The now-obvious erection was continuing to grow, reaching almost halfway down his long leg and increasing in thickness. As the tip began to press up against the top of his shorts, he'd cease his rubbing and scratch at the tip for a few moments before returning to his rubbing.

Through it all, Naruto continued to stare calmly at the screen, as if he was doing nothing more than rubbing his eyes or scratching a slight itch on his face. Not knowing what to do in such an unprecedented situation, Sasuke tried to focus on the film, but found himself unable to take his eyes off the sensual event happening right beside him. For a brief moment, the blond stopped. But his erection continued to grow, and after another minute, he returned to his activity, now with his fingers lightly wrapped around the outside of the erection, stroking its entire increasing length.

Sasuke couldn't help staring in surprise at the growing erection. He knew the guy was huge - but everywhere!? Even through the shorts, he could tell it was one of the biggest he'd ever seen. And considering that one night that he'd been unable to resist clicking on that FierceLuster gallery of the world's largest dicks, that was saying a lot.

Now the blond had brought his left hand into play, alternating his rubbing between his two hands, and occasionally using both to stroke the length and scratch the tip. With his shoulder still pressed against the guy's left arm, there was no hiding the fact he was aware of what was going on next to him. Naruto didn't need to see Sasuke to know he would at least have occasionally looked - the flexing and pumping muscles of the arm would surely have grabbed his attention.

And his attention was indeed rapt. _'There's just no way,'_ he thought as he stared at still-growing erection. It was almost ready to pop out the end of the shorts. And after another few minutes of rubbing and scratching, a large crimson head poked out from beneath the material, straining upward as if rising from the stagnant underground to take in fresh air. Sasuke almost gawked at the sheer size of it. _'It's so big it could barely fit into somebody's mouth,'_ he thought, then briefly wondered why that was his first thought as a reference for its size.

Finally, after another short span of moments, a few more inches grew out from the end of the shorts. _'This is utterly absurd,'_ he thought as he watched Naruto grab the few exposed inches with his right-hand thumb and two fingers and give it a steady stroking. After a couple minutes of stimulation, it hadn't grown any further, and Sasuke figured it had finally hit its limit. It now reached all the way down Naruto's thigh, ending at the teardrop-shaped muscle spanning the few inches of thigh just above the kneecap, the tip of it reaching over the edge of the seat.

Naruto let his hand go again. The erection throbbed against the fabric of the shorts, but the extreme muscularity of Naruto's thighs left so little space in the shorts that it could only reach a small angle upward before being restrained by the material. Still, it was pushing the end of the shorts back a small bit, and he had little doubt that it would lift the shorts right up if he were standing - but since he was sitting, the material was bound by the pressure of the thigh against the seat.

After a few minutes of letting the erection strain against the fabric, Naruto wrapped both his hands around it, his right one up top and his left one at bottom. Even with both his gargantuan hands grabbing it, there was still a few open inches between the hands as well as at the top and bottom. He gave it a brief twist in opposite directions, and then a few more, back and forth. He paused for a few moments, removed his left hand and stroked down the erection with his right, stopping to scratch it right by the crotch.

After another moment, he grabbed it from the bottom, pressing it against his thigh as he slid his hand toward the top. Once he reached the tip, he pressed the head into his thigh with the palm of his hand, then slid it past the top, letting it spring up and catch against the fabric of his shorts. He continued this for a few minutes, stroking the erection upward while pressing it into his thigh, then letting it spring up and hit the shorts.

Sasuke could almost feel what the blond was feeling. He too had experienced the encumbering tension of having a boner restrained by tight clothing for far too long, and the ever-increasing desire to forego any form of public decency and give it a quick rub and readjustment. But the scale to which the blond must be experiencing it… he knew he would never comprehend it.

Yet, his face betrayed nothing. He still stared ahead at the screen, barely giving his below-the-waist activities any visual focus whatsoever. Sasuke couldn't comprehend it. There was _absolutely nothing_ happening on screen that would warrant even a blush, let alone this carnal display. Throughout all his scratching, rubbing, palming, twisting, and stroking, the blond had only spared a few brief glances downward, yet he continued his self-service as if the world's most intense erotica was playing on the screen.

And finally, after all the foreplay, a stream of precum began leaking out from the tip. He stretched his right foot forward so the stream wouldn't land on his calf. After the first load of dribble had emptied into a small puddle, he forewent the stroking and simply palmed the head of the erection into the side of his thigh, letting it spring up once more, and repeating the action every few seconds. A couple minutes later, another stream of precum poured out from the tip and gathered in the puddle on the floor by his feet.

When his palming finished, he opted for a right-handed stroking again, this time without pressing it into his thigh. He moved quicker than before, and not more than a minute later, another stream of precum poured out the tip and the puddle grew even more. He then put his palm to the end of the erection and ground it into the side of his thigh, this time holding it there as he wiggled and twisted his palm back and forth, the erection throbbing as if it were trying to escape being strangled. With one last long push of his palm, he let the erection spring up, and yet another long stream of precum leaked out and onto the ground.

Suddenly, he leaned his back against the top of the seat and planted his feet forward on the ground, lifting his rear and thighs slightly above the seat. Sasuke wondered what he was up to, but quickly got his answer as the blond wrapped his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts. _'You've got to be kidding,'_ Sasuke thought as the blond began to pull his shorts down. _'You've got to be freaking kidding,'_ he thought once more as the blond pulled his shorts down further and further, revealing more and more of his muscular thighs and throbbing erection. The erection pressed down slightly as Naruto pulled the shorts toward its end, then suddenly sprung upward when the waistband finally passed the tip. Naruto passed the shorts just past his kneecaps, letting the waistband rest on the top of his calves.

Sasuke was again overwhelmed by the sight of the blond. His fully exposed thighs showed every immensely built muscle in full detail, every peak, curve and groove exposed in a display of power and artistry. But his attention was again drawn to the erection, now standing up at a perfect forty-five degree angle, directly between the blond's thighs and his torso.

At this point, Naruto grabbed the erection with his right hand and simply started masturbating. He slid the hand up and down the long length, at a moderate speed, then picked up faster and faster. He would push the erection down so it reached over the edge of the seat to let out more and more frequent precum dumps as his masturbating grew more and more intense. Soon he brought in his left hand, once again grabbing the top with the right and the bottom with the left. And again, even with both his gargantuan hands holding the erection, there was still space to adequately slide them up and down. And like before, he would occasionally press the erection down to dump another load of precum over the edge of the seat.

Soon, he changed tactics, using his right hand to stroke the base of the erection downward, sliding his hand from the halfway point and pressing it into the crotch area, only lightly stroking the top with his left hand. Then he made one great slow push down with his right hand and kept it pressed into the end while quickly putting his left hand back on the armrest. His breath hitched in his throat, once, then twice, his eyes closed and his head tilted back, and he removed his right hand from his erection.

Immediately, a thick white stream of semen burst forth from the tip, arching over five rows of seats and spattering the backs and cushions of the seats in the next row up, as well as the floors in front and behind. Sasuke could only stare in shock as the stream continued to flow, dousing the targeted area in floods of white liquid. Soon it came to a stop, the decreasing flow causing the arc of fluid to diminish in size, leaving a trail of semen from the target area to the first row. He was absolutely amazed, not just at the sheer volume of the ejaculation, but at the fact that it poured out in one continuous stream.

But it was even more to his surprise when a second stream burst forth, again spraying in an arc nearly the same size as the first, this time spattering the seats and floor in the fifth aisle with a torrent of white. This one didn't last quite as long, but there were still a number of well-doused seats when it came to an end, and another a trail of semen leading back toward the row in front.

This couldn't mean that the blond actually ejaculated the same amount of shots as a normal person, but that they were actually so big, could it? Sasuke thought he simply dumped his entire load in one continuous shot, but sure enough, he noticed the guy's right hand had already returned to the base of his erection, and as he stroked it down and pressed it against his crotch, a third stream of semen burst forth. This one was notably smaller - in relation to the first two at least - but still lasted long enough to douse the back of a single seat in the fourth row.

As Naruto again stroked his hand downward and pressed it, another stream of the same size burst forth and landed on the cushion of another seat in the fourth row. It turned into a series as he launched a fifth, sixth, and seventh stream of semen, each spattering different areas in heaps of white fluid. Then an eighth, a ninth, and a tenth stream burst forth, again spattering different areas as Naruto changed the grip on his erection. One he angled downward, and it shot well past the eighth row of seats. Another discharged to the right, landing on a seat at least five over from the main target area. Another one he gripped tight and angled upward, spraying in a thinner but more propulsive stream, reaching an incredible height before falling on the armrest and edges of two seats in the second row. Then an eleventh and twelfth came, followed by a shorter thirteenth, each once more spraying the general target area. The thirteenth seemed like it would be the end, as it barely reached the third row at full force. And indeed, the streams came to a stop - for a moment. But then Sasuke saw Naruto grab the erection one last time, and slide his hand down it slower and tighter than ever, pressing extremely hard against the base. Soon a final stream shot forth, this one nearly the size of the second. At first, it matched the distance of the initial stream, but a sudden increase in intensity caused it to spray all the way down to the tenth row for nearly two seconds, before quickly dying off and leaving a final trail of semen from the tenth row back to the first.

The blond took a few deep breaths, letting the erection die down for a few moments before wiping the tip with his finger and wiping that on the seat to his right. He then leaned his back against the top of the seat, planted his feet on the floor and lifted his rear and thighs again, this time to pull his shorts back up. The diminishing erection was still visible through his shorts, but apparently he wasn't too worried about that, as he simply stood up and walked out of the theater in as casual a matter as if the movie had simply ended.

Sasuke didn't know what to do after that. He certainly wasn't going to be able to resume watching the movie. He didn't even know what had happened during the last twenty-or-so minutes. He didn't want to leave the theater immediately, lest the blond still be lingering around. That was a meeting he'd rather avoid. So, after leaving the blond enough time to do the things anybody would do after leaving a theater, he also left, and fortunately, saw no signs of the blond anywhere.

Sasuke exited the building dazed and confused, wondering what exactly had just happened, and more to the point, why. He racked his brain, but couldn't discern any rhyme or reason to the events of the night. He soon found himself standing at his car door, not knowing just when he had arrived there. He opened the door and sat inside, but didn't put the keys in the ignition. His brain kept trying to process what happened, but without any rationale to work with, he was unable to draw any conclusion. Things were what they were. What happened, happened. That was that, and that was his final thought for the night.

* * *

Shikamaru sighed as he entered the empty theater with his dustpan and brush. He didn't know why his parents insisted he work a needless job when the family had no shortage of finances. There were plenty other people who'd be good and willing to clean up after others. He wasn't even good at cleaning up after himself, let alone willing.

He groaned as he pulled at the neck of his uniform. If the green and yellow colors weren't ugly enough, the tight collar chafed his neck every time he moved his head. With a rash forming after filling in for an absent refreshment stand employee, he was most definitely _not_ in the mood to work tonight. And when he looked out at the theater and saw the glossy damp spots covering all those seats in the riser area, his head fell forward and his shoulders sagged.

Wonderful, a spill. And at closer glance, a lot of them. Had people simultaneously thrown their drinks at some troublesome person? He didn't think there were that many people in the theater. He stepped up to observe the damage and see how many other supplies he'd need to bring to clean up.

As he looked down the aisles, he saw there were also glossy puddles on the floors and even more liquid on the backs of the seats. _'It must have come from the back then,'_ he thought as he moved closer to observe what he was dealing with. He stepped up to the edge of one of the puddles and looked at the liquid dripping from the back of one of the seats. It looked familiar. Against his better judgement, he stuck out a finger and wiped a bit on the tip. It felt familiar. Suddenly his eyes shot open, and he promptly jumped back and wiped his fingertip on the edge of the nearest seat. The sheer volume of it all… _'How the hell?!?'_

Shikamaru stared at the mess, dropped his dustpan and brush, walked to the management office, and handed in his resignation note.


	2. Exhibit N - Chapter 2

It was the second week since Sasuke had witnessed _the incident_ , as he had come to call it. The second week since his plans for enjoying the final week of his summer break had taken a radically unexpected turn. He had returned to school this week for his final year as a high school student. That put him in the same class as Naruto, though he attended a small private independent school whereas Naruto attended the large public school.

His first week of classes had gone as well as he had expected. He had taken an extra class nearly every semester of his first three years with the intent of having a relatively easy final year, and now his efforts were paying off. He had only four of the serious academic classes required to graduate, which left him with the two electives he opted to take for personal enjoyment, his lunch period, and a study hall that allowed him to have even less homework than he already would.

The week had taken his mind off of _the incident_ , but now it was Saturday and he simply couldn't keep the images from replaying over and over in his head. It was like having a song stuck in his head, except this time was the first time it had happened with a visual source rather than an audio source. And there wasn't anything particularly good or bad about it. Like the songs, some could be fun while others could be annoying. Having one stuck was inherently neutral, and that was how he felt about the mental video reel that kept rewinding and repeating on his imaginary projector screen. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, but it was there and it couldn't be ignored.

At the sound of the bus approaching, he cleared his mind and returned to reality. He had gone further into the main city for a dinner at his favorite restaurant and a walk around town to browse some of the confectionery stores that he didn't have near the suburban outskirts of the city where he lived. He would take this trip every few weeks, not just for the food and the sweets that he knew he shouldn't have so many of, but also to be around the larger and more active social scene of the big city. Granted, his introverted nature meant he didn't care to participate in it very often, but he wasn't a recluse either, and he appreciated being around a small amount of people as long he didn't need to focus on anything and they were minding their own business. Crowds were annoying, for sure… but this late at night, with only a handful of people per block? It was just right for a casual and relaxing walk.

Since Sasuke's car was unreliable to the point that it was almost an emergency resort for even moderate lengths of travel, he usually walked or jogged everywhere. But that was a luxury of living in a smaller community, and when traveling into the main city, he had to rely on public transportation. The ten-o'clock bus pulling up to the stop now was his last ticket home without having to pay for a taxi, and as it came to a stop, he stepped on and gave an absent-minded nod to the driver. The buses weren't particularly crowded at this time of night - another reason he preferred coming out later in the evening - and with the lack of traffic congestion, the ride was typically quite smooth.

Much like the theater, Sasuke preferred to take the back seats in the bus. He casually walked down the aisle toward the rear of the bus, noting the bits of dirt and scattered food wrappers on the floor in front of him. It was only when he nearly reached the back that he looked up and jolted to a stop.

_'Oh, hell no!'_

To his left, two seats ahead of him, was the blond giant that had been the subject of his stray thoughts for nearly two weeks. His broad, round shoulders rested well above the backrest of the seat, and though the seats were meant to fit two, Sasuke noticed that, like in the theater, only the skinniest person would find enough space to sit next to the blond - and that was if he scrunched up against the window. But since he was only leaning away from aisle a bit, he had the entire seat to himself.

He was also wearing another basketball jersey, this time a white one with orange highlights. It wasn't the Konoha Leaves' official school uniform, so Sasuke figured it must have been one of Naruto's personal outfits. He wouldn't be surprised if Naruto designed his entire wardrobe to be as revealing as possible while still passing as legitimate public apparel. His basketball outfits certainly fit the bill.

Sasuke blinked and broke his sudden stare. The guy was gazing out the window, once again seemingly unaware of Sasuke's presence. Sasuke quickly took the next seat to his right, across from the blond and one row in front of him. Without a second spared, he also turned to stare out his own window, hoping the blond hadn't noticed him and would continue to remain ignorant of his presence.

As the bus closed its door and began to move, Sasuke scowled at his reflection in the glass. How had he been so distracted that he hadn't noticed the guy until he was nearly in front of him?! How do you miss a guy so monumental that even his brother, with all his visual impairments, could spot him through a crowd a block away? Well, actually, it was the guy's fault in the first place, but Naruto wasn't the kind of person you walked up to and smacked - unless you wanted your arm ripped off. Then again, he didn't seem like a mean guy with a jock complex, but Sasuke wasn't in a rush to find out first-hand.

After his brief moment of self-berating, Sasuke thought back a minute to the sight that surprised him so much. Previously, he had only seen Naruto in the dim lighting of the theater, but now that he saw him in proper lighting, the strapping blond athlete looked even that much more impressive. He had a golden tan that looked so much like his natural skin color rather than the result of too much time frying in the sun or lying on a tanning bed, and his face was… well, handsome. Possibly gorgeous. And the loose v-cut neck with its thin straps and low armholes of his jersey revealed inches of the top and side of his pecs. They sat like two thick blocks on his chest, puffed up like a billboard saying, "just try me." Sasuke often rolled his eyes at those manbooby-looking pecs that some other guys had - those ones with a huge protrusion of muscle at the bottom that diminished upward to absolutely nothing by the point they reached the collarbone - but Naruto's had a perfectly consistent thickness from bottom to top. Everything Sasuke thought could go wrong or look ugly with intensely muscular builds, Naruto was quickly doing away with. He never really paid attention to other guys' builds, but one of Naruto's immense size was simply impossible to ignore. He wanted to take another look, but didn't want to risk eye contact, or any other form of acknowledgement.

But then, what was he so scared of? The most the guy would do was come over and try to talk. After all, this wasn't the back row of a dark and near-empty theater. This was a small closed-in public transit unit, lit almost as bright as day, with windows open to anybody passing by. There were two rows of seats behind Naruto, and three other passengers back there, as well as another ten in the rows up front. A talk would be awkward, especially if it recalled the events of the previous night, but nowhere near as awkward as having a repeat of the event.

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, then focused on pretending that the passing cars and buildings were of great interest to him. It would only be about twenty to thirty minutes before he reached his destination. Hopefully less. Maybe the big blond would get off before he did.

Still, why was he even here? In all the years Sasuke had been making these trips, never once had Naruto made an appearance. Then suddenly, not even two weeks after the theater incident, he's sitting on the same bus, in the same area that Sasuke usually used? Well, Naruto was there first, so obviously he wasn't being followed. But it was too coincidental to ignore, even if the blond was apparently paying no heed to his presence.

The bus traveled for a few more minutes before he heard the sound of one of the passengers in the back jolt up from his seat.

"Dude, what the hell?!" he heard the guy say, the surprise evident in his tone. He could hear him quickly tapping the shoulder of the guy next to him. "Look at this crap!"

Then he heard the sound of the other guy stand up, along with the sound of his magazine landing on the seat a second later. "What in the…"

Finally, the sound of jewelry jingling and a soft gasp signified the girl in the back row had gotten up to observe whatever had grabbed the attention of the two men.

_'No way…'_ Sasuke thought as the only possibility for the source of their shock and surprise came to mind. _'He wouldn't…'_ Sasuke tried to convince himself for all of three seconds before he turned his head backward to look, then immediately snapped it forward. _'He would!'_

The blond had the front of his white basketball shorts pulled down onto his thighs, and both his hands were sliding up and down his full-blown erection. After overcoming his own shock, Sasuke took another glance back at the other passengers. He could look for a moment - they certainly weren't paying attention to him.

The first guy looked to be late twenties; slim build, shaggy brown hair, casual dress of dark t-shirt and shorts - probably coming back from a night on the town. The second guy was a bit heavier with a professional look; short black hair trimmed to acceptable businessman standards, tan dress shirt, briefcase resting on his seat - probably returning after a late night at the office. The girl was closer to Sasuke's age; multi-colored hair, big jingly earrings, necklace and bracelets on both wrists; loose-fitting high-neck tank top with incredibly short jean shorts - probably a college student doing who-knows-what.

His eyes were again drawn to the large blond athlete. He seemed to have foregone the foreplay of the theater and jumped right into outright masturbating. The guy's brazenness was nearly as immense as his build. He paid no need to the small crowd staring at him, his eyes constantly closing as he took in deep breaths and occasionally leaned his head back.

"Is that thing even for real?" The first guy asked to nobody in particular. The second guy shrugged, inattentive to the fact that nobody was looking at him.

Apparently the first guy's curiosity finally got the better of him, because a few minutes later, he slowly and cautiously took a seat next to the blond, who quickly gave him a brief glance out the corner of his eye before continuing on with his activity.

The guy stared for a few moments, before reaching across his chest with his left hand. He paused to observe the blond one last time, before slightly turning to his right and cautiously reaching out for Naruto's erection.

Just as his hand was about to touch, Naruto's left hand suddenly grasped his, and he flashed the startled guy a look of pure warning. The glare was so intense, even Sasuke felt like melting into the ground, despite it not even being directed at him. Naruto kept the guy in suspense as he began to mutter stammering apologies once his voice had returned. After the guy had run out of words, Naruto set the offending hand back down in the offender's lap, then released his gaze and returning to masturbating. The guy slowly stood up and returned to his seat, still watching the blond from behind, and now rubbing his aching wrist from where the blond's massive hand had consumed his.

Apparently the interaction had drawn the attention of at least one other passenger ahead of them, because now an older woman stood up and moved toward the back of the bus. Late fifties at least, quite portly, short brown hair in a perm that looked like a small afro; full-length clearance-rack dress with red, blue, white and green flower print on it; small leather purse around her right shoulder - probably a conservative and overprotective nanny who wrote letters of complaint to television and radio stations regarding non-family-friendly content.

Once she saw what had grabbed the other people's attention, she let out a shriek of horror. "Driver!" she yelled at the man in the front. "Driver! Come back here now!"

"Be there in a minute," the he replied in a bored voice.

"Driver, come back immediately! There's an indecent display going on!"

"Just wait a second. I'm about to pull into the next stop."

"Hurry! Hurry!" she screamed in a shrill pitch as she took small speedy steps toward the front, hands on her cheeks and mouth wide open.

Sasuke glanced back again to see that the people had only given her a brief look before moving their eyes back to the masturbating blond, who had continued with no regard to the shrieking woman at all. A few other people were looking back, but nobody was curious enough to get up and see for themselves.

As the bus pulled to a stop and the door opened, the driver, a short and slender old man with thinning gray hair and dark wrinkled skin, got up and strolled past the frantically pointing woman to see what had her so riled up. He took one brief bewildered look at the colossal young passenger sliding his hands up and down his enormous erection before sighing and turning around to take his seat again.

The woman looked in shock at him as he passed by. "Well, aren't you going to do something??" she screamed in his ear.

"What do you mean, _do something?!_ " He gave the woman an irritated glance. "Look at the guy! Even if you riled up all fifteen of the passengers, you probably wouldn't even be able to get him out of his seat! How do you expect me to get him off the bus??" Seeing that he stumped the woman, he returned to his driver's seat while the flustered woman stormed after him and promptly stepped out the door. Three other passengers follower her, all taking final glances back, but missing the sight.

With no new passengers boarding the bus, the driver shut the door and continued the drive to the next stop - the one where Sasuke would be departing. If the drive went as usual, it would be just less than ten minutes until he could leave.

He counted down the time while trying and failing to not stare at the blond as he continued his self-service. He seemed to have stepped up the intensity sometime during the woman's tirade, and now there was precum pouring from the tip of his erection and pooling in another puddle on the floor. He had pulled the legs of his shorts up, and now they were wrapped around his upper thighs like a large headband.

Sasuke's attention was drawn out the window next to the blond. The bus was passing the grocery store on the corner of the intersection leading toward his stop. It would be about three minutes until he'd be stepping off.

It was almost as if Naruto had sensed this, because his masturbating had picked up to a furious pace. His eyes were almost entirely closed and his head was rolling farther and farther back. Sasuke once again broke his stare and looked forward, but it was only after another minute that he heard the blond's voice hitch in his throat, once, then twice, and he figured he knew what that meant.

Sure enough, a sound like fabric being torn erupted from the blond's seat. Sasuke glanced back at him to see his hands to the side and a thick stream of semen spraying against the back of the leather seat. The sheer pressure of the ejaculation caused it to spread in all directions, some of it splashing across the sides of the seat, some of it pouring directly on the ground, and more of it shooting in globs and rivulets above the top of the seat, fanning out from the center to the sides as it launched upward and fell back down to the ground.

Sasuke took a quick glance at the people in the back with their mouths hanging open as the flow of semen continued to issue forth. He couldn't help grin as they looked back and forth at each other once it came to a stop. He knew what was still coming, but they had no clue.

Sure enough, the second but somewhat shorter stream began spraying onto the back of the seat, though this time it gradually aimed higher and higher as Naruto grabbed the base of his erection and began to bend it upward, eventually causing the stream to spray above the back of the seat and onto the seats a few rows ahead.

The sound of his initial ejaculation had grabbed the attention of some of the passengers up front, and now everybody knew what was happening in the back. The whole bus, except the driver, watched as his second shot died down and his series of shorter ejaculations began. Granted, "shorter" in Naruto terminology was still at least a few feet long, and Sasuke gave an amused glance around the bus, watching people's eyes open wider and wider as more and more streams of semen launched from the blond and sprayed all over his area of the bus.

With a large seat directly in front of him, he didn't exactly have the full shooting range that the theater had provided, but he still managed to hit a number of targets - mostly the seats directly in front of him, but he also spattered a window a few rows ahead, along with hitting the ceiling twice. Sasuke only counted eleven shots in this series as opposed to the thirteen at the theater, though it wasn't as if anybody would ever say Naruto had under-performed. Besides, he still had his grand finale shot.

And sure enough, after a brief pause, one last stream of semen began spraying in an arc over the back of the seat. It covered some of the seat two rows ahead before suddenly surging and spraying a length of the ceiling then quickly dropping off.

As Naruto regained his breath, he let the erection diminish a slight bit before wiping the tip with his finger and wiping that on the rear of the seat in front of him. When he began to pull his shorts back up, Sasuke realized he was still staring and quickly snapped his head forward. What could he do now? Even if he could have feigned ignorance of the stares from the three people in the back, the ruckus the woman had caused would have made it obvious to Naruto that he had at least watched a portion of his show. Now he was the only passenger in the entire bus who _wasn't_ staring at the blond, and that would easily - and correctly - be understood as him simply pretending to be ignorant of the show, which was as good as admitting he had watched the entire thing.

As the driver pulled up to Sasuke's stop, he decided he'd immediately get up and get out before anything could happen between him and the blond. But as he turned to get up, he noticed Naruto was already getting up and stepping out from his seat. He quickly turned back and glared at the back of his seat as the blond walked by. Of course, the guy just _had_ to exit at the stop he normally exited at. And just like at the theater, he didn't want to follow the blond out and chance an uncomfortable or embarrassing encounter. The shortness of the stop wouldn't guarantee anywhere near enough time to establish an adequate distance between the two. What to do, what to do…

He looked down at the aisle to see a huge shiny shoe print where Naruto had just passed by. He squinted at it quizzically. Then he saw the large puddle of semen that had accumulated at the foot of the blond's seat. _'His shoes were in that the whole time,'_ he realized. _'The soles must have gotten completely soaked.'_ He'd only crossed paths with the blond twice, and each time he saw things his wildest imagination would never conceive of. Now here he sat looking at another - a shoeprint made from leftover ejaculate. In a rare public display of shameless curiosity, Sasuke poked his head out from behind the seat and stared at the retreating blond as he left a trail of semen prints down the aisle.

Nobody said anything as he passed by. They simply stared at him. Only the driver, who had missed the entire ejaculation, muttered as he passed by, "hope you enjoyed yourself." The blond gave him a brief nod and walked out the door.

By this point, Sasuke decided he wouldn't be ending his ride here. He'd take the bus to the next stop and figure his way home from there. He had no idea where "there" was, as he'd never ridden the bus past his regular stop. But it would certainly be less hassle than being caught in another unprecedented and abnormal situation with the blond.

And so he sat back as the bus closed its door and continued on its way. If anybody else had meant to depart at that stop, then they were obviously having the same thoughts he was. Or maybe they just weren't thinking at all. They all looked like they'd been hit with stun guns. Then again, the lingering mess had to be unlike anything they'd ever seen. Dribbles of white fluid were still falling from the ceiling, and the back of the seat in front of Naruto's spot was still draining into the puddle on the floor. Well, Sasuke was right about one thing. The blond certainly _had_ gotten off before he did - just not in the way he had originally anticipated.

Still… twice in two weeks. It was too much of a coincidence. Unless Naruto had suddenly decided this was the semester he'd spend his days masturbating in every public venue he could possibly hit, there had to be more to his appearances than just random chance. The fact that he had been in the bus before Sasuke just didn't seem convincing. If the theater appearance were intentional, it could easily be attributed to being followed. But if this appearance were intentional, it could only be attributed to anticipation. In which case, Sasuke had a feeling he'd be seeing Naruto again.

* * *

It was only later that night when the driver pulled the empty bus into the company lot and gave it his final inspection that he discovered the sticky white mess in the rear. He stared at the spatters and splotches on the ceiling and seats and the puddles on the floor for nearly a minute before sighing and returning to the front to pick up a damage report form. He browsed the yellow sheet once, then more thoroughly a second time, and sighed again. They didn't even  _begin_ to have an option for a thing like this. And had that guy tracked footprints of the stuff all the way down the aisle? He shook his head, grabbed a large black marker, and wrote three words across the entire form before taking it to the supervisor's office and dropping it through the slot in her door.

The next morning found the supervisor staring at the form in confusion. She shrugged, then took it down the hall and passed it to the cleaning crew. They also stared at it in confusion, then grabbed all their highest-grade material and set to work. If the guy said "DECONTAMINATE ENTIRE BUS," then a decontaminated bus is what he'd get.


	3. Exhibit N - Chapter 3

Sasuke approached the diner with a small amount of apprehension. The week after the incident on the bus had come and gone, and now it was a quiet Wednesday night on the following week. Always at the back of his mind was the possibility of another sudden and unexpected appearance by the blond exhibitionist.

Still, since it was mid-week, he wasn't overly concerned. Although the theater incident had taken place in the early weekdays, it was also the last week of summer break. Now that school had resumed, he primarily expected potential appearances to occur on the weekends, such as the one on the bus had occurred.

However, the notion of a good dinner quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. On a lazy corner across from a small strip mall was a quaint diner that he frequented at least once a week. One of the food preparation team members was a friend of his who introduced him to the place nearly two years ago, and though his friend no longer worked there, Sasuke still enjoyed nearly everything on their rather expansive menu. It was the highest quality fast food you could get before you found yourself eating at an official restaurant.

The smell of an appetizing array of fresh food made him crack a subtle grin in anticipation as he stepped through the front door. The place wasn't in top-notch condition, with its worn white floor tiles and the smudges and scratches on its tan painted walls, but it had a homely feel that many higher-rated places didn't. The dining area was a wide rectangular room that a visitor walked directly into. To the left was a series of small booths that stretched along the front wall, then reached along the side wall to the rear, with a circular booth in the corner. Directly ahead were two rows of tables spanning the width of the area, with a short dividing wall in between. A gap between that section and the side walls allowed customers to walk around and reach the counter that extended along the back wall. To the right, the same series of small booths stretched along the side wall, then reached along the front wall back to the entrance, and in the circular booth in the corner was the exact sight Sasuke hadn't wanted to see.

He almost tripped over himself as he saw Naruto sitting in the rear corner of the booth, directly facing the front door, once again wearing his official Konoha Leaves basketball uniform with its white jersey and maroon shorts. However, this time he had two people with him, and was talking contentedly with them, an enthusiastic grin on his face. To the left was a husky muscular guy with shaggy brown hair and a gray mesh shirt that did little to hide his powerful build. To the right was an incredibly large heavy-set guy with long brown hair flowing backward in a wild mane. He looked fat at first glance, but Sasuke could tell he was equally strong as he was large. Of course, there was only so large you could look next to Naruto, and the blond once again dwarfed his friends, who Sasuke recognized as Kiba and Chōji, two of Konoha High's top football players. Kiba was widely known as the most aggressive player the school had ever seen, and Chōji was second in strength only to Naruto.

In an effort to not get caught being startled, Sasuke headed around the rows of tables and toward the counter before thinking about what he was doing. Unlike the previous times where the blond had been by himself, this time he was occupied with his friends. Sasuke realized he probably could have slipped out while the blond was still talking with Kiba, but now there was no chance of that. Then again, Naruto had always seemed to be aware of his surroundings without directly looking at them, so maybe he was fully aware of Sasuke's entrance. There was no doubt that part of being such an excellent athlete was having great peripheral vision, and perhaps that was the case with Naruto.

Still, Sasuke couldn't help having another moment of self-berating as he approached the counter. The diner had windows along all the booths, and the blinds were still open. At nearly nine o'clock at night, that gave anybody a perfectly clear view inside. He should have taken a quick glance to see who was within, but his paranoia levels simply weren't that high… at least, they weren't until now.

Shaking his head, he greeted the cashier and placed an order for a chicken teriyaki and a tomato salad. When he was told it would be approximately five minutes, he warily turned around to find a seat. The blond was still engaged in conversation with his friends and seemingly paying Sasuke no attention, but Sasuke was learning not to take that as an indicator of his awareness.

Looking out across the diner, he weighed his seating options. From his vantage point, Naruto was far left and back, there were two couples in different booths to his right, an old man in a booth to his left, and a twenty-something guy at a table to his left on the opposite side of the dividing wall. He had the counter-side to himself, and that was the best option he could have had. He wanted to be as far from the blond as he could.

He wished he could think that Naruto wouldn't begin one of his shows since he was having dinner with his friends, but his performance on the bus had established that he was definitely _not_ troubled by an audience - and if _that_ were to happen, Sasuke didn't want to be caught up in it, or even associated with it.

Now, the only question was, left side table or right side table? Left side would put Naruto out of his view, but he would remain in Naruto's view. He didn't expect the blond would sneak up behind him like some lame prankster, but there were a lot of things about the guy that he didn't expect. No, if he was going to be in Naruto's view, Naruto was going to be in his. He stepped to the right and took the seat facing Naruto's side of the restaurant.

From behind the dividing wall, only Sasuke's face would be present, and the frosted patterns on the short glass panels above the wall would obscure even that. Yet, the gaps in those same patterns would allow him small spaces to peek through unhindered. He truly did get the best seat in the house, given the circumstances.

While waiting, he glanced rightward at the three big guys… well, two big guys and one colossal guy… as they had a friendly conversation. From the bits of dialogue he was able to catch, it seemed that Kiba was going on about an odd combination of girls and football, while Naruto and Chōji were either supplementing what he was saying or teasing him for his blatant obsessions. Chōji seemed to be a character of genuine mirth, smiling jovially throughout their interactions, while Naruto would flash grins of amusement or lean back with a look of satisfaction. All of them had a plethora of plates and drinks in front of them, to the point that the table was so full of food servings and empty dishes that it was impossible to tell whose was whose. Well, no doubt the best thing for any kind of food service joint was the arrival of three extreme athletes like those guys.

Soon the time had passed and Sasuke dug into his meal. He typically preferred to eat at a slow and casual pace, but wondered if he shouldn't take it a little faster with the hopes of getting out of the diner before Naruto had a chance to start another incident.

No… with this amount of a food, a few minutes wouldn't make a difference.

And as if his mere thoughts had the power to will events into existence, the relaxed conversation that had been going on in Naruto's booth began to grow tense.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kiba watched as Naruto's arm muscles began pumping in a slow rhythmic pattern while his hands moved underneath the table.

"What?" Chōji asked.

Kiba shot his head under the table, then looked back at Chōji. "He's friggin' wanking, man!"

Chōji also looked under the table and came back up perplexed, staring at Naruto in confusion. "Um… Naruto…?"

Kiba slapped Naruto across the shoulder. "Dude… _seriously_ Naruto, what the _hell?_ "

Naruto's large round shoulders raised and fell in a shrug. He bit the tip of his tongue as it slipped out the right side of his mouth. Plainly, he had nothing to say about the subject to his friends.

"Whatever man, let's get the hell out of here." Kiba motioned toward the door and got up to leave.

Chōji sighed, piled up all the finished dishes, and ran them to the counter. "Thanks for all the great food!" He cheerfully announced to nobody in particular. "Hope to be back for more soon!" And then he sped out the door after Kiba.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was watching Naruto get into it. The booth seats were lower than the bus seats, so Sasuke could see down to the top of Naruto's biceps and triceps. Those muscles were flexing and stretching in a steady pace as his hands slid up and down. The front and side of the spheres of muscle resting on his shoulders were also swelling and relaxing in rhythm, and even his pecs were puffing up and pulling back with every stroke. Sasuke had never seen anybody turn masturbation into a full upper-body workout - he could imagine his abs were somehow in on it too - but then he'd never seen anybody work an erection the size of Naruto's either.

"Uhhh… hey Koji, get over here."

Sasuke's attention was drawn back to the counter as the cashier called over the guy at the salad station.

"I think this guy's beating his meat."

Koji dropped his tongs in the lettuce and strode over to the cashier, who now stood directly to Sasuke's left at the end of the counter. Sasuke acted casual and continued to eat his meal despite the two employees looking directly past him at the blond giant pleasuring himself in the far corner.

Though the side of the booth blocked his lower body, Naruto's thick legs were long enough that Sasuke could still significantly see the ends of his spread-out thighs, and the tops of his bulky calves rose above the seat cushion. He could also see the last four or five inches of Naruto's erection as it poked out past the offending booth-side. Since his shorts weren't down around his calves, Sasuke figured he must have done like he did on the bus and pulled the legs up and waist down to wrap them like a band around his thighs.

Sasuke watched Naruto's large right hand slide into and out of view as he slid it up and down his long throbbing rod. He was going at a slightly more relaxed pace than last time, and had begun to twist his hands back and forth when he reached the beginnings and endings of his strokes.

After a minute of sliding and twisting, he grabbed the erection with both hands, this time the left one first, and slowly stroked it downward, pressing it beneath the level of his thighs. He let the left hand slide up off the tip, then the right hand all that much slower, and as soon as his thumb slid off the tip, the erection sprung upward and the head hit the underside of the table, making a loud thump and causing the remaining dishes and silverware to vibrate for a brief moment as that side of the table ever so slightly jumped upward.

He seemed to have found a new favorite activity, because he repeated this motion over and over and over. Thump… thump… thump. And it would appear the thumping finally drew the attention of one of the couples on the opposite side, because Sasuke noticed the guy quickly grab the girl's hand and lead both of them through the diner in a hurried dash for the door.

"Hey!" the cashier called out weakly as the door closed behind them. "You forgot to leave a tip…"

Sasuke's attention was again drawn leftward to the crew behind the counter. There were now four of them staring past him at the impassioned spectacle taking place in the far corner of their diner. Trying to remain anonymous, he returned to his meal, which he realized he hadn't eaten a bite of during the last few minutes.

"Um… maybe we should get the manager?" Asked one of the newly-gathered employees.

The cashier shrugged. "Whatever you want."

Sasuke watched the other guy go into an office at the back, while the blond continued his erogenous activity, the other few patrons of the restaurant now aware what was happening. Even if people couldn't see his hands moving along his erection, the pumping and twisting muscles of his upper arms and chest would clearly give away his activity, let alone the look of calm bliss on his face.

Soon, the manager stepped out of his office and over to the small crowd of employees. The guy looked to be early forties; skinny build, receding black hair, white dress shirt and black slacks - probably a life-long entry-level manager. He gasped as he saw the exhibit in the far corner of his diner, and quickly rushed through a door on that side and over to the front of Naruto's table as another thump made the plates and silverware jingle.

"Sir, what do you think you're doing?" The manager addressed Naruto in a harsh whisper.

Naruto ignored the small man and continued to stroke his erection downward and let it thump against the table, though now he was adding a few more slides of the hands before each release.

"Sir, I _said_ … _what_ do you think you're doing?"

Getting no response as the blond slid his hands downward and another thump came from below, the man placed his palms on the table, not slamming them, but putting them down hard enough that they would grab anybody's attention.

"Sir!" he said, finally stepping above a harsh whisper into a soft but strained speaking voice.

"Sir, this isn't allowed here."

Naruto continued to ignore the man, his attention drawn by the large stream of precum that began pouring out his tip and puddling on the floor.

"Sir, this is a _public diner_ , you're _not allowed_ to do things like that here!" Now the man began to raise his voice as he again got no response from the blond, except for another thump from beneath the table, this time overlaid with the subtle sound of a wet smack.

At the sound of a car pulling into the lot, the manager's gaze sprung between the arriving customers and the enormous masturbating blond. Making a quick decision, he ran over to the door, flipped the "Open" sign to "Closed," and twisted the lock closed. Then he swiftly drew the shades down over the windows of the door and rushed to close the blinds on the windows by the booths. When finished, he took an exasperated breath as he saw the approaching customers turn back, then approached the blond once more, now with a more agitated tone.

"Sir, _please_! You _need_ to stop masturbating!"

Naruto raised his eyes for a brief moment, lifted his hand, waved it in a shooing motion, and returned to his activity. The manager flung his arms in a fit of frustration and stormed back to his office, fists clenched at his sides, as the blond continued unhindered.

"Hey, how much do you think a guy like that puts out anyway?" the cashier asked.

"Pfft. Probably a full stream," said Koji.

"I'll bet it's just a few drops," the third employee said.

"Are you kidding? Look at the size of that!" exclaimed Koji.

"Exactly. Probably all looks and no show. A big long dick doesn't mean big spunk storage, that's an entirely different part of the body. Besides, he probably used all his protein and testosterone building his muscles anyway."

"Well, I'm betting on stream," said Koji, a grin splitting his face. "Loser has to clean up after him if he shoots. Who's up for it?"

"Stream," said the cashier.

"Stream," said the fourth employee.

"Drips," said the third.

"It's on!"

Sasuke smirked at how badly the poor sucker was going to lose. He wanted to leave while Naruto was occupied, because he was growing more and more wary that he was the target of the blond's erotic adventures, and now wasn't the time he wanted to find out why. But he almost wanted to stay until the end, just to watch the guy's face as the extent to which he was going to lose gradually sunk in.

Still, it was only a passing amusement. All eyes were on Naruto now as he carried on pleasuring himself. He had moved past the thumping phase and was now all-out masturbating. The pumping and swelling of the muscles in his arms and chest grew heavier and faster as his speed and intensity increased. His hands slid smoothly along his long throbbing rod as another precum dump poured out the tip and increased the size of the ever-growing puddle on the floor once more.

Apparently not satisfied with this action, Naruto grabbed his erection with his right hand and slammed it against his thigh. This wasn't like in the theater when he was simply squeezing it hard. Now he was outright _grinding_ it into the muscles along his thigh, and Sasuke could see his triceps bulge out as if he was holding down the gate to hell. Even his normally calm and euphoric face twisted into a wince of exertion as he pressured the throbbing organ as hard as he could.

Naruto returned to regular masturbation for a moment as he unloaded another precum dump, but once again made a fist and smashed his erection into his thigh muscles, this time twisting his arm back and forth as he ground it down once again.

Sasuke had never seen him this intense before. He looked more like Sasuke imagined he might look during a gym workout, only now with more occasional looks of pleasure on his face. Sasuke watched as Naruto once more ground his erection into his thigh muscles with his fist, this time twisting it side to side as well as working it up and down its length. Sasuke saw his hand slide into view as it slowly moved upward. Naruto had his knuckles facing down and was grinding them into his throbbing organ as hard as he could, wiggling them upward toward the tip. And for all the pressure he was applying, he was barely compressing the flesh beneath his hand. The thing wasn't being crushed at all, and the realization of how hard it must be gave Sasuke a little butterfly in his stomach.

Naruto did another brief round of regular masturbation to unload yet another precum dump. After this one, he grabbed the end of his erection with his left hand and pressed it down against his right thigh. He then made a fist with his right hand and began dropping it toward his leg. _'Is he punching the thing?!'_ Sasuke couldn't see past the side of the booth, but the loud fleshy thumps emanating from it made it suddenly obvious. The guy was pounding on it like an impatient child pounding the kitchen table for dessert.

Sasuke stared incredulously as his fist moved up and down the length of his thigh, pounding the erection from front to back as the sound of those meaty thumps filled the dining area. The first few rounds moved with a consistent steady pace, then the last few picked up the speed until the thumping sounded like a rapid-fire weapon. The erection twitched and strained under the firm grip of Naruto's left hand like a captured beast struggling to be released from its holds. Finally, speed was traded for intensity as the blond's fist steadily rose further and further and the thumps grew louder and louder.

Soon Sasuke could see Naruto's fist rising above the back of the booth seat before being brought down with full power. Each time, Naruto's fist rose higher and higher and the force harder and harder. The thumps had turned into thuds, and Sasuke could tell that they could be felt from the surrounding booths. With one last raise of his fist, Naruto dropped it with a giant thud that made even the walls creak from the force. He held this one down for a few moments, before letting up and releasing his left hand. The erection snapped up and hit the underside of the table, this time with enough force to tip it for a slight moment and upset some of the dishes and cups, and immediately another dump of precum poured out the tip.

It was at this moment Sasuke realized he _really_ should be leaving if he was going to avoid any involvement with the blond. He was surprised the guy hadn't ejaculated already. Without returning his dishes or acknowledging the crew of aghast employees behind him, he stood up, stretched his shirt back down past the waist of his shorts, and started for the door.

Naruto had taken to his two-hand masturbation, but now with an incredibly extreme grip. He seemed to pause for just a brief moment, then increased his pace as Sasuke approached. And as he was about to reach the door, Sasuke heard the telltale sound of Naruto's breath hitch in his throat, once, then twice - and he _immediately_ stopped walking.

And just in time, as Naruto's eyes closed and his head tilted back, his hands slid off his erection, and the first stream of semen began spurting forth. It sloshed across the underside of the table at first, only spraying a few feet past the next booth, but the power of the erection quickly pushed the table upward and to the side, tilting it so that the stream could continue unhindered. An empty cup slid over the edge and into the booth next to Naruto as the stream now flew across the diner and spattered the floor directly in front of the door. Sasuke remained stopped as the flow of semen piled up in one lengthy puddle across the area where he was about to walk.

Well, there was no way to avoid being the center of attention now. Everybody looking at the surge of semen was also looking at him, and his hesitant reaction, as he waited while the flow came to a stop and left a trail from the elongated puddle in front of him back to the blond in his booth. And he knew he'd have to keep waiting, because the second one would come so fast he wouldn't be able to dodge it if it didn't follow the exact same path as the first one.

And sure enough, the second stream burst forth and began to spray the floor in front of Sasuke, but this time nearly a foot closer to the door. All he could do is wait another handful of seconds before this one finally died down, then Naruto should be down to his extended series of shorter ejaculations. He counted those seconds down, but then decided to wait to see what Naruto's starting aim to that series would be.

Naruto had his hand back around his erection now, and as he slid it down toward its base, the first of the series burst forth, spraying a little past the current puddles in front of the door. _'Great,'_ thought Sasuke, _'a live obstacle course.'_ He looked at Naruto to see he was lost in his own ecstasy, apparently not paying any attention to where he was aiming. He let the fourth one shoot by, on a similar course but closer to him. Taking his chance, he took a large step across the parallel puddles. Right leg safe. He brought his left leg across, and suddenly he felt a spray of semen graze his left calf and hit his right one. Incredibly irritated, he brought his left foot down and turned his right one to move sideways and twist the lock on the door open, but his right foot moved back too far and he slipped in the puddle of semen closest to the door. His small miscalculation completely upended his footing, and he spent a good second in the air before landing sideways across both the glossy white puddles.

Sasuke let out a slow sigh of exasperation as he felt the warm sticky liquid soak through the back of his shirt and the seat of his shorts. He opened his eyes and stared at the crusty white ceiling tiles with their recessed light fixtures scattered at random intervals. A spray of warm fluid up the front of his shirt drew his attention toward the stream of semen that almost reached his chin before it dropped off and ran back down his shirt, ending at his left leg. As he lifted his head, he could feel his hair sticking to the floor beneath it. He was too irritated to do anything about the next stream of semen that sprayed across his right leg before flying over and spattering against the bottom of the next booth. He turned on to his right side, put his elbow against the floor and began to push himself upward. He ignored the stream of semen that flew not less than a foot in front of his face and spattered on the edge of the doorframe. He then put his legs under himself and stood up, again ignoring the stream of semen that grazed his left leg for a moment before moving on… on to what, he didn't care.

Sasuke only faced the door, not bothering to acknowledge the presence of anybody else in the diner, but another stream of semen sliding by his feet made it impossible to ignore Naruto. He refused to make eye contact, though when he glanced out the corner of his eye, the blond did seem to have a slight expression of shocked surprise on his euphoric face. Sasuke quickly finished unlocking the door, all-too-calmly pressed it open, and walked out of the diner.

The cool air of the late night made the gooey liquid covering his backside and spattered across his front side all the more obvious. He was fuming beyond comprehension, but he took all his effort to reign it in while inside the diner. He wouldn't storm Naruto's table like he would anybody else's. It didn't matter if the guy ended up being indifferent or even apologetic. No, you don't initiate a physical conflict with one of the all-time biggest, strongest and fastest athletes in your age group, if not the entire sporting world, no matter how justified it may seem. He'd have to go about crashing the blond exhibitionist's next performance in an entirely different way. A little more patience and cunning would be involved.

Sasuke looked back to see a long stream of semen spraying past the door at full force. Naruto must have reached his final shot. At that realization, Sasuke turned and sprinted through the forest behind the diner toward the most obscure path that would take him home. If the guy came looking for him for any reason, he didn't want to be found. No, next time Sasuke would be the one looking for Naruto. He didn't _think_ he'd see the blond again - he _knew_ he'd see the blond again. And when he did, that muscled-up boned-up show-boy would get his comeuppance.

* * *

"Hey hey, no slacking, Kiyoshi!" Koji jeered at the now-named third employee as he mopped up yet another puddle of sticky white goo from the front of the diner.

"This is friggin' impossible!" the poor guy exclaimed in exhaustion as he wiped a coat of sweat off his forehead.

"Ah, ah," Koji wagged a finger. "You're the one who got yourself into this!"

"Shut up! There's _no way_ a single person should have been able to spew all this out at once."

Koji smiled at Kiyoshi's denial. "And yet, you were the only one who voted against it."

"Even _you_ couldn't possibly have expected _this much_ …"

"Doesn't matter," Koji said with a shrug. "Hey, before you keep moving across the floor, you should get that one on the window."

"Even the friggin' window…" Kiyoshi growled as he lifted the mop and slopped it on the glass.

"Hey now," Koji scolded. "You know that floor mops aren't for windows."

"Ugh," Kiyoshi growled as he threw the mop back in the yellow rolling bucket. "Screw this."

"Hey hey! You better finish, or you're going to cover my shift for a week while I get paid for it."

"That was never part of the bet!"

"No, but it became a condition when it appeared you might break the bet."

Kiyoshi growled even harder. "If I ever see that guy around here again, I'm gonna kill him."

"How you gonna do that? Punch and kick him until you bleed enough that you can drown him?"

"No, I'll just serve him one of your burgers, jackass."

"Oooohhhh! _Harsh!_ " Koji feigned fatal injury as he hobbled back toward the employee area. "I'm gonna get changed and shut down for the night. We're past hours already. You've got a few puddles left in that last booth."

"Screw off!"

When Koji came back dressed in his casual outfit, he found Kiyoshi standing by the door, holding on to the handle of his mop for support as it sat in its bucket. Koji walked toward the front, admiring the clean floor… and window… and tables… and booths.

"Alright, I'm gonna get outta here," Koji said. "Be sure you lock up when you've got everything put away."

"Got it," Kiyoshi said with a sigh of sheer fatigue as Koji stepped through the door.

"Oh, and hey," Koji said, poking his head back through the door. "You missed that last one that went up to the ceiling." He pointing at the slimy wet streak that crossed four of the ceiling tiles to the side of the door.

"FRIGGIN' DAMNIT!!!"


	4. Exhibit N - Chapter 4

It was late in the evening and the sun was setting as Sasuke approached Sankakkei Park. The area served as a small pastoral deviation at the edge of the modest suburban district that he lived in. Further beyond, a river separated his neighborhood from the vast forest spanning the distance between the city and the far-off farmlands. However, a part of that forest was on his side of the river, and now he stood at an opening in the thick wall of trees and underbrush. Carved through this part of the forest was a triangular nature trail as wide as a small roadway. Each of its three paths was a few hundred feet in length. Grass had been sown along the length of these paths, and they were lined with small decorative stones on each side. Some of the forest trees remained in the center section, but most had been removed and it was now primarily dedicated to other types of foliage that were considered far more pleasant than the surrounding forest, most of which were tall bushes and flowers that reached well above the average human height. Each path had four lampposts placed along the length of the center section, and in between each of the lampposts was a wooden bench facing the forest.

Sasuke casually passed through the opening and decided he'd head down the leftward path once the entryway forked into the lowest corner of the triangle. Over the past two weeks, he had been going out of his way to visit all the places that he would ever go to on a regular basis. He knew by now that his blond show-boy was somehow aware of all these places, but this time he would be the seeker and the blond would be the sought. Indeed, Sasuke was no longer afraid to see Naruto. He was _anxious_ to see him. He couldn't wait. A bit nervous, yes. He was planning a big dare, after all. One that would completely upend this entire erogenous affair.

Of course, it wasn't going to be a random reckless antic that he would haphazardly pull and desperately hope it worked. No, he had meticulously analyzed his various options based on the events and consequent possibilities that he had observed and reviewed during their last three encounters. And he had developed a master strategy accordingly - one that would employ his revenge in the most thorough and effective way possible. But there was always a margin of error in even the best-laid plans, and though Sasuke had allowed for varying degrees of success, there remained a sliver of a chance that even the first step may fail. And yet, that made his dare all the more thrilling, and he was greatly anticipating his next encounter with Naruto.

As Sasuke came up to the corner, he stopped short of the turn. Looking to the right, he tried to peek through the center foliage to see if any of the benches were occupied. Sure enough, through a small gap between the leaves of a section of knotweeds, he saw his blond wanker sitting in the center bench of the rear path. He already had an erection pointing outward and upward. However, Sasuke was a little confused that he wasn't working on it. After staring for a few seconds, he saw Naruto slowly slide a single fingertip up its length, then pull it off when it reached the tip. He let it sit unattended for another ten or fifteen seconds before repeating the motion. After a longer interval of time, he rubbed another fingertip on its head for a few seconds, and let off again. Sasuke waited for another short length of time until Naruto again slid a fingertip up its length. It looked like he was only trying to maintain it.

Sasuke figured he knew what was going on. He took a few quiet steps back, then approached the corner with an obvious casual walk. As he rounded the corner and looked to his right, he saw Naruto going at it full-bore, both hands sliding wildly up and down the full length of the erection. _'Hmph. Acting like you were sitting here wanking the whole time. But you were just waiting for me to show up, weren't you?'_ Sasuke grinned. _'Busted, you big buff brat.'_

Sasuke continued his casual walk as he approached the blond's bench, not showing the slightest amount of trepidation or wariness. The trickling sound of water soon caught his ears. Across from that center bench was a small fountain. It was carved from gray stone and rested on a thick pedestal embossed with classical architectural designs. There was a wide reservoir at waist height, and a statue of a dancing girl up top with water pouring out from the tip of an umbrella she held. Sasuke pretended to be remotely interested in the fountain as he headed toward his destination.

When he reached the bench, he gave the masturbating blond a quick glance. Of course, what would he be without his basketball outfit again? This time it was the one from the bus; the white one with the orange highlights. He had his shorts pulled down around the large muscles of his calves, leaving the peaks and grooves of his hefty rippling thighs exposed. His legs were long enough that the bench seat was barely wide enough to support their upper half; a problem further compounded by the thick muscle of his posterior pressing him forward, as well as upward. As usual, his eyes were mostly closed - and when they did open in a squint, he was either looking at the ground below or at the fountain in front of him.

In his calmest demeanor, Sasuke turned to his side, sat on the bench directly to Naruto's left, pulled a small booklet out of the left pocket of his shorts, and began to read. He noticed the blond's slight pause and brief glance leftward as he took his seat. Perhaps he was surprised. Perhaps he was hoping for it. Whatever the case, he had it. And now that he had it, he upped the intensity.

He began by gradually extending the distance that his hands were sliding along. His strokes grew longer and longer, his hands sliding closer and closer to the ends of the erection. Soon his left hand was nearly sliding off the tip, and his right hand was hitting the abdominal base with heavier and heavier intensity. The hits began as a thumping sound, but now grew into a loud fleshy pounding sound. Sasuke continued his nonchalant reading, but remained quite well aware of his surroundings. It was at this moment that a motion to his far right drew his attention. He saw a young man with spiked black hair in leather punk dress round the corner, stop and stare at the carnal display for a few seconds, then turn and leave the exact way he came.

As Naruto added some twists and bends to his increasingly sensual activity, Sasuke reviewed his observations of the past three encounters. Every time Naruto was about to begin his ejaculations, his breath would hitch twice and his hands would fall to his side. The first shot was the strongest, and would last between five and six seconds. Naruto would be completely lost to ecstasy during this shot. The second would be almost as strong, and would last roughly four seconds. At the end of this one, the fog of ecstasy would begin to clear and a slight bit of conscious thought would return, as evidenced by him returning his hand to the base of his erection and giving it strong but instinctual strokes. After the two opening shots, he would begin his extended series of shorter shots. These would last well over a second, close to two seconds each, and there were at least ten of them. His conscious thought would continue to return throughout these. Then, after a short pause, he would have his grand finale. This one started like one of the short shots, but had a sudden burst of intensity for a few more seconds when it seemed like it was about to end. Then he would collect his breath, shake the remaining fog of ecstasy from his head, and go on his way.

Sasuke's review was cut short when he noticed Naruto had pressed his pulsating erection downward below his thighs, as far as his arms could push it. His triceps were bulging and writhing as he pressed it toward the ground. In what seemed to be an attempt at defiance, it twitched and lurched against the force, turning an ever-deeper crimson as the blood pressure engorged the throbbing organ. He changed his hands' position so that they were cupped inward around the top rather than the sides, then continued his lengthwise sliding as a stream of precum poured out the tip and pooled in the grass below.

_'Yeah, keep working it, you little… well, you brat.'_ Feigning reading once more, Sasuke returned to his review, now focused on how he would carry out his retribution. Having completed the analysis of his observations, there were a number of possible reactions that he anticipated that Naruto could have once he made his moves during the blond's massive ejaculation sequence. He had accounted for all of these possibilities, and planned his own responses to each of them. However, there was a specific series of five reactions he hoped to draw out from the blond in order for his revenge to have maximum impact, and he had established a series of moves that he believed would draw these out in sequence. These moves were anticipated based on Naruto having purely natural reactions during the initial phase when he was lost to ecstasy and functioning entirely on instinct. The series was incredibly precise, and would need careful execution for it to reach its maximum impact, but the brilliance of his step-wise plan was that, should he not be able to carry out the full series, he could still claim success if only his first move worked.

His attention was again drawn from his review as Naruto raised his hands. His _free_ hands… which he now used to grip the seat of the bench by his sides. Sasuke looked down to see Naruto had smashed his pulsating erection between the bulging and rippling muscles running along the insides of his thick thighs. He began to slowly spread his legs, then press them back together, crushing them against the long throbbing rod. Sasuke's watched in confusion as the blond repeated the action, spreading his legs just enough that it wouldn't spring up, then crushing them back together with full force, the muscles swelling and writhing with effort as they squeezed against the engorged organ. As he began to rhythmically repeat the action, Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise. The blond was masturbating solely by using his pumping leg muscles to grip and smash his erection.

This new development held his attention for the number of minutes that Naruto continued the action, moving quicker and quicker as his thighs pumped and stretched against his quivering erection. Sure, every incident with Naruto was a new adventure, but they usually progressed by step rather than leap. Still, as Naruto paused his flexing to let another stream of precum pour out the tip, his erection _did_ leap when the stream finished and he released the crushing grip of his rippling thighs. Then, in an almost disappointingly generic move, he returned to his two-handed masturbation.

But when did two-handed masturbation from a guy with such gargantuan hands somehow become generic rather than shocking? Sasuke had gotten way too used to Naruto's exhibitions. _'Whatever,'_ he thought. _'Just keep working it, you wild wanker. I can hardly wait.'_

A few moments following, Sasuke noticed another motion to his far right. A young couple had rounded the corner, and from the way they were engrossed in each other, he expected they might be either newlyweds, or at least engaged and nearing their day of unity. They both spoke quietly to each other, elated smiles on their faces. The man would occasionally rub his chin against her head, and the woman would occasionally lean her head into his neck, but through it all, they never broke eye contact.

It wasn't until they were less than twenty feet from the occupied bench that they realized what was going on. They both came to a stop and dropped their mouths in shock, the woman letting out a small gasp while the man stayed silent. He, being the first to recover, quickly put his arm around his woman and attempted to cart her along. She gave into his pull after a few seconds, and they skirted by, never taking their eyes off the masturbating blond until they neared the corner and turned around it. Even then, the woman took one last look before disappearing behind the foliage. Sasuke couldn't help but think how awkward that relationship was going to be in the coming weeks.

His focus was drawn back to the enormous exhibitionist as his pace suddenly increased. It appeared he was reaching a climax. Sasuke's eyes opened in suspense as he watched the blond suddenly slow his motion. His chest tensed in anticipation as he saw the guy lean his head back. And when his masturbating show-boy began to make a sharp breathing motion, he knew the time had come to unleash his strategy.

In the days following the diner incident, when he had analyzed all his options for retribution, he had concluded that his current step-wise reaction-series strategy would be his only way to success. His plan was based around a simple idea. It was an old idea, borne out of the struggles of many a combatant who faced an opponent of far greater industrial and material capacity. Being unable to win through sheer force or vast numbers, they had to employ a plan of patience and cunning in order to turn the tide of the conflict. A strategy had to be put in place to twist the advanced strength of the enemy into a subsequent weakness. It was a strategy that was used in everything from international warfare to individual video games. A concept that inspired underdogs to action and put their adversaries on alert. Indeed, the best way to win a fight against an opponent with a stronger weapon was to use their own weapon against them.

As the blond's breath hitched and his hands fell to the side, Sasuke immediately threw down his booklet, jumped in front of the bench to Naruto's side, grabbed his pulsating erection in both hands, and with a surprising amount of effort, aimed it directly at his face. The blond opened his eyes in surprise and looked down, just in time for them to get sprayed by his own stream of semen. Reaction one success. Sasuke twisted the tip back and forth, being sure to thoroughly douse each eye. Naruto was quick to squeeze his eyes shut, but not before each eyeball got blasted with the propulsive white liquid. And now, as the gushing stream hit the closed eye sockets, it splashed out in all directions; some launching across Naruto's face toward his ears, and some up toward his forehead, but most of it running down his cheeks. It reminded Sasuke of that annoying spray of water that happened when he held a spoon directly under a running faucet.

Naruto then tilted his head backward to get his eyes out of the way of the raging stream of semen. Reaction two success. Giving the blond a quick spray across the forehead as his head reclined, Sasuke twisted the tip slightly backward to aim at his now exposed nose. As Naruto was inhaling short sharp breaths at the surprise of the eye shot, Sasuke directed the flow of semen directly up the nostrils, flooding the nasal cavities with the sticky white fluid. The sheer force of the stream caused it to spray directly into Naruto's throat. The blond reacted with a quick inward snort at the impact, which only caused him to draw in more fluid at a faster rate.

His chest heaved, and he opened his mouth to cough out the invasive semen and take a breath. Reaction three success. As soon as Naruto's lips parted, Sasuke was there to direct the surging stream straight into his mouth. The liquid sloshed across the roof of his mouth in a sloppy arc. Some of it sprayed back down his tongue and out the front of his mouth onto his legs, while more of it got sucked down his throat in sharp intervals as he began to cough like he was being strangled.

With his face completely incapacitated, Sasuke had planned for Naruto to either consciously reach out to grab at him, or to instinctively put up his hands to stop the stream. Given how lost in his cloud of ecstasy the blond usually was at this point, Sasuke had highly anticipated the instinctive reaction, and grinned as his expectations proved true. Reaction four success. When Naruto raised his hands below his face to stop the offending stream, Sasuke twisted the erection once more and coated Naruto's hands in the warm sticky goo, spraying the palms and making sure to get the fingers and fingertips too. Naruto made stifled attempts to move his hands, but Sasuke's aim remained accurate. The stream finally ceased its flow when Naruto's hands were soaked. Sasuke was surprised - at least, more than usual - at the sheer output. It seemed this one was longer and more intense than normal. Perhaps tonight he would hit the vengeance jackpot beyond his wildest expectations.

Naruto was coughing and hacking intensely as he attempted to clear his throat of the sticky white liquid. He reached his left hand to his mouth to help clean out the excess fluid and attempted to wipe his eyes off with his right hand - reaction five success - but because Sasuke had sprayed both hands, Naruto only succeeded in wiping more of the white fluid on himself.

During that brief pause between shots, Sasuke quickly moved directly in front of Naruto and slammed his twitching erection again his abdomen so that the head rested in the bottom of the deep groove between his pecs. The second stream burst forth, shooting directly up the groove, spraying Naruto's neck and chin, and draining back down his heaving chest. Sasuke then pulled outward on the middle of the erection and pushed forward on the tip, bending it ever so slightly toward Naruto's chest, then slid it from side to side across his pecs like a windshield wiper, spraying the thick blocks of muscle with a glut of white goo. The force of the ejaculation sent some strands of the fluid over his shoulders, but there was more than enough left to completely coat his pecs and continue draining down beneath his jersey and onto his midsection before the flow began to cease. If the shape of the dark wet spots forming on the front of the jersey was any indication, the fluid was quickly pouring between the grooves of the muscles of his midsection, giving a brief abdominal outline. Peering through the long and deep armhole to the side, Sasuke could see some of it dribbling off the side of the pec and into the grooves of the heavy muscles beneath - serratus, he thought they were called. Again, Sasuke was surprised by the length and intensity of this shot. The blond was _seriously_ stored-up tonight.

As the shot had died out and Naruto's sensible thinking started to return, he began to reach his hands to where Sasuke had been sitting, then waved them forward once he found the seat absent. But Sasuke was one step ahead, and had stepped back and ducked down to Naruto's side. Crouched under the waving hands, he grabbed the front waistband of Naruto's shorts, which he had originally pulled down onto his calves, and pulled them up over the top of his thighs. The back waistband slid about a little more than halfway up his thighs. Sasuke held up the front waistband, grabbed Naruto's pulsating erection, and slipped the end of it into the shorts. It pulled up against the waistband as his third stream of semen spewed into the tip of the tent and sprayed outward, most of it dribbling down into a large puddle on the seat of the shorts and some of it running down the folds in the fabric and gathering on his muscled thighs. Sasuke watched the front of the shiny white shorts turn a dark wet gray as the first of Naruto's short series ended.

Naruto returned his hands to his heaving chest and deluged face as he determined his assailant to be nowhere in reach. Another stream of semen emptied into the tent, again pooling into the seat of his shorts and drooling onto his thighs. Naruto began to get his coughing under control, and as a fifth stream of semen emptied into his shorts, his senses had returned enough that he could get a rough grasp on his situation. Finally, he hacked up a giant wad of white fluid onto the front of his shorts, still breathing like a marathoner who had finished a hundred-mile race. He wiped his hands on the back of the bench and moved to stand up as the fifth shot finished.

As he stood up, the puddle of semen that had gathered in the seat of his shorts was dumped frontward out the bottom of the leg openings. It spilled down the back of his calves in a thick slow surge like a small white waterfall and pooled in the ankle of his shoes. At the same time, as he stood to full height, his erection was still trapped under the waistband of the shorts. It held the front of the legs outward, as if somebody had pinched the material and pulled it forward. As his sixth shot issued forth, the liquid divided down the center seam and clung to the fabric as it poured down the front and collected in a puddle on top of his shoes.

Sasuke was again surprised at the sheer output. All these shots were longer and stronger than usual. Had this guy been saving up the entire time? After all his encounters, he had a hard time imagining the blond not masturbating for days, let alone weeks.

Naruto was wiping his eyes with his finally-somewhat-dry hands, and now that his coughing was coming to a stop, Sasuke realized he had grown a little too enamored with watching his stunning success. He had to retreat quickly before the blond could spot him. He backpedaled down the path, watching another stream of semen pour down the front of Naruto's shorts and begin to pool on his shoes - but Naruto quickly ripped off his shorts and threw them into the woods, letting his erection spring free as it finished its shot by spraying the statue on the fountain in front of him.

Sasuke had come to the corner of the path, and Naruto was turning his way, still breathing heavily and wiping his face. Though Sasuke could round the corner for now, he knew he couldn't make it down the other path and out of the park before Naruto saw him retreating and came after him. For as fast and regular a runner as Sasuke was, he knew he didn't stand a chance of outrunning Naruto at even a breezy pace. He looked at one of the small decorative stones lining the path, and then directly into the forest behind him. Such an elementary trick couldn't work, could it? Well, there was no choice. He grabbed the rock and heaved it through some of the underbrush and into the forest in the direction the rear path would have continued if it weren't for the corner. He then jetted around the corner at the quickest sprint he'd ever taken. Knowing he had little time before Naruto rounded the corner, he jumped into the foresty outskirts of the park and hid behind a small shrubbery between two tall trees, peering through a gap in its leaves.

A stream of semen that flew from the rear path and landed in the corner indicated that Naruto was heading this way. Another stream of semen that sprayed past the corner and sloshed onto a tree in the forest indicated that he was getting closer. Finally, Naruto's enormous erection slid out from behind the corner, soon followed by Naruto himself. He stood at the corner for a brief moment while another stream of semen sprayed into the forest in front of him… and then continued on the path where Sasuke had thrown the rock.

Sasuke's eyes widened in disbelief. It had actually worked! Naruto continued walking straight into the forest. Sasuke heard a sharp splashing sound as another of the blond's ejaculations sprayed some of the foliage in the forest. He didn't, however, hear large footsteps or other blatant disruptions to the underbrush. Naruto was surprisingly light on foot, making very few sounds even as he stormed his path in rage… but the sound of another spray of semen spattering through some of the plants and against the trees gave away his increasingly distant position. Sasuke waited until he heard the sound of another ejaculation being sprayed through a shrubbery even further away before he jumped out of the bushes and quickly ran for the park entrance.

He sped all the way home, ecstatic that his plan had not only worked, but succeeded beyond his wildest expectations. The wild grin splitting his face right now would give an extreme sense of bewilderment and foreboding to anybody who remotely knew him at all. He couldn't recall the last time he had experienced such a thorough victory, or delivered such a crushing defeat.

Of course, there was still the matter of how Naruto would react to that defeat. Either he would stop his exhibitions entirely, or he would be back with a different approach. It was now obvious beyond all doubt that the blond knew all Sasuke's favorite locations, and who could guess what a future encounter might bring? Still, this was an affair that was played one step at a time, and it would be curious to see how the situation would change in the future. But for tonight, he had won.


	5. Exhibit N - Chapter 5

Sasuke walked along a dark dilapidated alleyway behind a small strip mall near the edge of his neighborhood. A few bright bulbs along the rear of the brick building created ample circles of light every hundred feet, often to illuminate one of the back doors to the various stores. The delivery trucks would apparently navigate this narrow crumbling asphalt path and somehow slip into one of the three delivery bays that ran parallel to the alleyway. Sasuke looked to his right at all the dumpsters blocking the path and wondered how any shipment could ever be successfully dropped off. He shook his head and looked to his left at the long chain-link fence spanning the other side of the alleyway. There were dark plastic strips laced through its metal wires to prevent random passers-by from staring into the residential area on the other side.

He moved at a lazy pace with a small bag of groceries in his hand. It had been two weeks since he had crashed Naruto's show, and he had become increasingly apprehensive over what the backlash might be. Maybe the guy would've taken the point and stopped his shamelessly self-impassioned public pursuits… but the more he thought about it, the more he realized it wasn't in Naruto's highly competitive nature to accept a loss, and a humiliating one at that. Unless the entire thing had been one big prank - which he found no reason to believe - he expected the blond would be back for another round, and this time with the intent of winning. But whether it would be slightly competitive or outright aggressive, he wasn't sure.

And so he erred on the side of caution, avoiding his regular spots, going out late at night, and taking more obscure routes to and from the places that he truly did need to go. It was currently past eleven o'clock as he returned from the small food mart where he had picked up some bread, a milk jug, and a large bowl of fruit. As that place was at the far end of the complex, he had opted to walk in the alleyway behind the stores rather than out in front where he could easily be seen.

As he passed another dumpster, he came to a recessed block of the building. Some of the stores had slightly different lengths, and this one was relatively shorter than the two beside it. The rear wall ran back about thirty feet from those of its neighboring stores, and there was a single light illuminating a dark brown door in the center of the wall. It had a small cement step in front of it, with black bags of trash piled to the side. As Sasuke passed the first corner, there was yet another dumpster against the wall that spanned the distance between the rear wall of the lengthier store and that of the recessed store.

He briefly wondered how such small stores could produce so much garbage, but shook his head once more and continued down the alleyway. As he passed the center of the light and watched his shadow begin to slip into view on his distant left, he noticed the increasingly visible outline of his body showing some unusual and swift motion beginning from the area of his legs and quickly rising upward. Sasuke looked down and to the right to see what looked like an enormous erection slipping into his view, before a massive hand immediately grabbed the back of his neck.

He dropped his grocery bag as he began to be dragged down the alleyway like the bag he was just carrying. He found himself watching the cracked asphalt go by, legs trailing behind him, as the large hand that had wrapped itself nearly all the way around his throat in an iron grip now pulled him forward at a steady pace. To his right were the sleek swelling curves and deep shifting grooves of an incredibly muscled pair of legs that pumped and flexed in steady rhythm with every step the figure took. If the brief glimpse of the approaching erection and the size of the hand around his neck weren't enough to identify the antagonist as Naruto, then the Herculean legs certainly were.

And boy did he seem mad. He held Sasuke's neck just below waist level with his left hand, the body he was dragging alongside him apparently not straining him in the least. Sasuke tried to bring his legs in to stand up, but without being able to raise his head, they only slipped back behind him, and his shoes dragged along the cracked asphalt once again.

He was hardly content to be hauled ahead to wherever Naruto was taking him, but at the same time, breaking free meant physically fighting with the powerful giant… and winning. The notion was absurd, but he had to try. He reached his hands behind his head to try to grip the thick arm carrying him along. He was able to get his hands around the lower arm by the wrist, and he squeezed as hard as he could. For all he could tell, he might as well have been trying to leave an impression of his hands on a steel pipe. He released his grip and tried digging his fingertips into the arm. He didn't have long nails, but they were sufficient to leave scratches or slice through plastic wrap. He dug and gripped with all his might, attempting to wound, if not break, the skin beneath. He also clawed at the arm, trying to make some scratches, but nothing drew the slightest response. He slid his hands further up the arm, feeling the muscles expand as he neared the elbow, then dug in again when he reached as high up the rippling forearm as he could. Compared to when he could interlock his fingers around the wrist area of the arm, now he couldn't even wrap both hands around its large upper circumference. His fingers slipped into the grooves between the dense muscles, but it was like trying to dig into a thick cord of intertwined steel cables wrapped in skin. And of course, he felt like smacking himself. What was the point of trying to break through the most muscled part of this guy's forearm? He dropped his hands back toward the wrist and gave it one last dig, this time being sure to mash his thumbnails into the tendons along the midline of its underside… but again, no response.

He dropped his arms in frustration and began pounding his right fist against Naruto's burly thigh. A series of deep thuds emanated as he attacked the steadily pumping muscles. But after some twenty punches and an incredibly sore fist, even he had to laugh at the futility of what he just attempted. As he collected his wits to plan something more thoughtful, he noticed the blond was walking barefoot along the jagged fractured asphalt. He dragged his right leg forward and began kicking at the bare foot and ankle. He drove his heel into the tendons atop the foot and kicked at the small bulge on the outside of the ankle. His foot would slip as he was dragged, but he brought it back up to continue his attacks. He kicked the ankle even more, and even drove his heel into the toes as accurately as he could… but it still drew no reaction from the blond.

He again relaxed his limbs and let himself fall into being dragged, but he was thinking. He looked at the cracks in the asphalt. Some were incredibly deep and wide, and there were occasional stray chunks of it scattered about. He would wait for the right one… there! It had rough edges and was small enough to fit in his hand. It also had one particularly sharp corner, and two other pointy bends around its sides. With a swift motion of his right arm, he snatched it up as he was dragged over it. Once in hand, he twisted it so that the sharp corner was protruding from the outside of his fist, and began attacking Naruto's massive leg again. He jabbed it into the large sweeping muscle that ran along the front and side of the thigh, trying to focus on hitting the same spot over and over. But after so many jabs, it seemed that the only thing that was eroding was the chunk of asphalt. The corner wasn't nearly as sharp anymore, and while Naruto's leg had dirt and other small pieces of sand and gravel attached to the point of attack, his skin certainly wasn't broken and he definitely wasn't bleeding. Sasuke tried to hit his ankle with the other pointy corner, but could only reach mid-calf. With the robust thigh being impervious to the asphalt chunk, he knew the only thing left to do was throw it. He was going to make another attempt at the ankle, but then he looked up at the bobbing erection. With a swing of his arm and a flick of his wrist, he launched the chunk at the enormous organ. It impacted the side of the upper half, letting off a sound like a fleshy snap, then spun upward and landed against one of the walls. The erection, however, barely shifted in its path, and once again the blond gave no reaction.

Still looking upward, Sasuke's attention was drawn to the other side of the blond's waist. A tall round muscle was puffed out like a balloon from his behind, swelling and contracting in rhythm with his steps. After watching it pump a few times, it occurred to Sasuke, _'…that's his butt muscle!'_

From his view at the side, its bottom angled sharply outward from the rear of the upper thigh at slightly over forty-five degrees for what Sasuke estimated to be one of his hand-lengths, before rounding off to an ever so faintly arced surface that he estimated to be one of his foot-lengths, and finally curving off in a perfect quarter-circle as it connected to the exposed lower back. As the leg closest to him stepped forward and the further leg stepped back, he could see the second muscle mimicking the motion of the first in alternating sequence. He stared at the two perfect glutes pumping and bulging, before he realized, _'…this guy's completely naked!'_

And he had only realized now, for the reason that his face had been pushed down immediately when Naruto approached and grabbed a hold of him. Granted, he _did_ see the unrestrained erection slip into view first - but to be fair, you could see plenty of _that_ before you could ever see what it was attached to.

Now realizing that something was different - and clearly not good - about this encounter, Sasuke resumed his struggle to break free. His attempts to stun Naruto into dropping him had proven futile, so perhaps he could break the grip directly. He reached up and wrapped his hands around the blond's giant thumb and pinky finger, wriggling his neck to allow a full grip. With all his effort, he pulled on the two large fingers in opposite directions. He figured he didn't to loosen all of them - the thumb comprised one half of the grip, and if only that could be loosened, he could simply roll his neck out from the partial grasp of the remaining fingers. But even as he pulled and tugged with all his might, he couldn't make either of the two fingers budge even the slightest bit. The blond's iron grip was indomitable.

And perhaps breaking free would have been pointless anyway, he decided as he glanced to his right. There was no way he could outrun those long and powerful legs. He would have to do something that would stun and delay the blond long enough for him to gain the distance necessary lose his trail - and even if he wanted to use his milk jug to attempt replicating last time's encounter, it had fallen from his grasp much farther back down the alley.

But! He realized, he _did_ still have some possessions with him. He quickly reached his hands into the pockets of his shorts and felt some spare change, a student id card, a driver's license, a keychain flashlight, a key ring with his home and car keys on it, a pen, and a marker. Not much to work with, but there were a few possibilities.

The flashlight and the change were definitely out. The flashlight couldn't blind a person if it was held directly in his eye, let alone shined on it from such a distance. And if jabbing and throwing a chunk of asphalt at Naruto didn't faze him, he doubted the change would have much of an impact - nor he didn't take Naruto for the kind of person who'd drop everything to jump at some free laundry money.

But maybe the plastic edges of his cards were sharp enough that they could make some slash marks? He wasn't dumb enough to think he could actually injure the blond at this point, but he just had to make himself irritating enough that the blond would decide that carrying him along wasn't worth the hassle. And plastic card slashes could certainly be irritating, so he quickly grabbed them from his pocket and began swiping them against the side of Naruto's hefty moving thigh. He sliced back and forth, up and down, one after another in rapid succession. He tried to center them around the spot where he had jabbed the asphalt chunk into… but again his efforts drew no response, even though he could see thin remnants of his swipes on the skin of the shifting muscle.

He quickly pocketed his cards and moved on to his key ring. If card slashes were ineffective, then perhaps key scrapes would do the trick. He gripped his house key, the sharpest key on the ring, and jabbed it into the mighty thigh, twisting it sideways and sliding its sharp grooves at indiscriminate directions. He scuffed and scraped the skin on the side of the thigh, again centering around the target area… but still drawing no reaction.

He pocketed the keys and moved on to his pen. Clicking the ink tube out from its barrel, he began jabbing the tip into the side of the unyielding thigh, directly aiming at the target area once more. When he realized he wasn't being thrown to the side, he delivered a desperately rapid series of stabs to the thick moving thigh. The tip was making visible divots in the skin, and after a matter of seconds, there was a small cloud of them in the target area. And when his efforts once again drew no reaction, he thrust the tip into the skin and dragged it downward. The tip quickly broke off, and a small blob of ink formed on the skin.

That gave him his final idea. Perhaps Naruto wouldn't want his masterpiece physique vandalized by a marker? Sasuke threw away his pen and pulled out his marker. He flicked the cap off and began to make a mark on the side on the giant thigh. Immediately he was hoisted up and tossed over the blond's broad right shoulder. The front of his right thigh was pressed against Naruto's meaty right pec, his left thigh hanging off to the side, and his face was staring at the small landscape of crests and grooves that made up Naruto's wide back. His waistline and lower abdomen were being supported by the blond's large round shoulder and the thick muscle that rose to connect it to the back of his neck, and the blond's brawny right arm and massive hand were holding him there by the rear of his waistline. Success?

Well, there were only so many options at this point. His arms and fists were free, and his legs were somewhat free. He could either pound the backside, or knee at the front side. He knew neither would be effective. After the torrent of punches, asphalt attacks, card slices, key scrapes and pen stabs he had unleashed for the sake of weakening a single point of the blond's thigh had failed to produce even a mild flinch or a slight mis-step, it was blatantly clear that a little more scattered pounding and kicking would be futile. There may have been no stopping this muscle machine. And yet, in the face of this futility, he found it didn't matter if his efforts were effective or not. It was his spirit that counted, and he would put that on display, defiant to the end.

Sasuke looked "up" to see Naruto's tremendous butt muscles pumping back and forth, calves and ankles systematically appearing and disappearing from beneath them as the ever-strident steps continued. He could reach the blond's butt, but wasn't sure if he considered that a 'private zone.' Granted, he didn't seem to be a very private guy, especially on this particular night, but it would be best to play it safe. Besides, those glutes were by far the largest muscles in his body anyway, so they would be the most futile place to attack.

By now the odd pair of teenagers had reached the end of the alleyway, and when Sasuke watched the asphalt turn to grass as he was carried off the mall property, he suspected he knew where they were headed. There was a small field between the side of the mall and the main road that ran perpendicular to it, and in this field were some small circular concrete patios with benches installed around the edges. A handful of tall lamps with orange-cast bulbs were scattered around the field, most positioned near to the seating areas. The area would probably be public enough to meet Naruto's usual preference, despite being vacated at this hour of the night.

But Sasuke refused to go willingly, and began pounding the muscular back in front of his face. While unleashing his futile volley, he tried to figure out his leg range. He could stretch them back as if he were standing, which would leave them parallel to the ground. From there, he could thrust his knees inward - but with his waist being so far up on Naruto's broad shoulders, his thighs would only press into the thick pecs before his knees made impact, so he'd hardly be able to knee the blond with any significant force. Not that he could accomplish anything at full force either, but some small part of his ego still didn't want him to appear _that_ weak, so he would refrain from anything less than full force.

However, he did have another move available. He was able to twist his right knee outward - which, in this case, would mean sideways, and into Naruto's face. So he did exactly that. With his leg pressed back, he quickly thrust it inward. He was being held too close to directly knee the blond, so he ended up clobbering him in the face with the top of his thigh. Though he was quite fit and athletic, his thigh wasn't exactly a block of muscle - but then again, neither was Naruto's nose. Perhaps if he could land enough hits, he could at least initiate a nosebleed.

And so he thrust his knee into Naruto's face again and again as he continued hammering on his back. Naruto, however, had simply turned his head enough to the left that Sasuke's thigh was only hitting his right cheek, and soon enough, he adjusted his muscular right arm, sliding it down from Sasuke's waist and restricting his thighs from further motion by constraining them against his pec and front shoulder. Sasuke's legs were now being squashed in Naruto's iron grasp - and yet, never one to let an opportunity go by, Sasuke turned his situation to his advantage and raised his back into an upright position, now essentially standing up by using that constraining grasp on his thighs as his support.

With his body otherwise free, he again had a number of options available - and there was one move that was obvious above all others. He couldn't contort himself enough that he could deliver a forward punch to Naruto's face, but the top of his head was wide open. And so he brought his fist down, digging his knuckles into the top of the blond mop of hair that was now, beyond his most fanciful imaginations, directly below him. As expected, the blond didn't topple over with a single hit, so he kept his fists raining down on the top of the head. Still, once his knuckles began to grow numb after a moment, he had at least wanted _some_ kind of response. Apparently this guy's bones were even stronger than his muscles.

Soon, Sasuke found himself being lowered from Naruto's grasp and placed, seated upright, on a cold black metal bench. He had been so consumed in beating the guy's skull in that he hadn't noticed they had approached one of the concrete patios. To think, he had almost believed he was being put down because he had successfully overcome the blond's resilience.

Not knowing what was going to happen next, Sasuke simply remained seated, hands unconsciously wrapping around one of the metal slats running the length of the bench as its wooden counterparts often did. He was in absolutely no position to run, not with Naruto directly in front of him with his arms outstretched. He shot the blond a defiant glare, but found himself ignored as his nemesis leaned forward, reaching his big rippling arms above and around Sasuke, to grab for something behind the bench. The enormous erection poked at Sasuke's chest and shoulder, and he found the top of his head nearly pressed into the blond's giant pecs.

It wasn't the ideal situation, but he finally got to see the blond's bare midsection. As expected, he had six large blocks of muscle stacked in pairs down the length of his stomach, with a final two blocks stretching down to his crotch. Feathering outward and upward from the sides of the sixpack were the sleek series of bulges and ridges that made up the serratus and intercostals, each individual section of the muscle popping with the same definition as any of his abs. On each side of his midsection was a thick grooved wall of muscle that began at the waist and spanned upward through the area where the love handles on an average person would normally be.

As Naruto's hands worked behind the bench, Sasuke's attention was broken from the view when he felt the sudden pressure of a thin binding drawing tight around his waistline. He looked down to see a thin white cord of rope had been wrapped around him, and the blond was tying it through the gap in the long metal slats to the support beam directly behind him. He quickly threw his arms over the rear of the bench, but its height prevented him from reaching to where the knot had been tied. The blond had now retracted his hands and knelt in front of Sasuke. He was reaching under the bench for something, and before Sasuke could even land a successful kick, both his ankles had been pinched in the grasp of one massive hand before the other wrapped another binding around them, pulling them upward toward the underside up the bench. When Sasuke tried to kick his legs forward, he felt the pressure on the rope around his hands. So it was a joint knot system made out of a single rope.

As the naked and aroused blond stood back up, Sasuke gauged his situation. His hands were free, but they were useless to grasp either knot. The one holding his waist had been positioned behind him, and when he tried to reach his arms back, the height and curve of the rear of the bench prevented his upper arms from going beyond parallel to the ground, leaving only his forearms to dangle far short of reaching the rope. Similarly, when he tried to lean forward to reach the one holding his ankles, the rope around his waist prevented him from fully leaning forward, and again he could only reach his all-too-short forearms below the seat of the bench. He was effectively trapped. Sure, his arms were free - but only in the same sense that a prisoner could reach his arms through the bars of the jail cell door. The plan actually showed some sign of intelligence and forethought. The blond wasn't just running on blind emotion or raw sexual appetite, and this made Sasuke genuinely concerned.

He watched cautiously as Naruto stepped behind the opposing bench, wrapped his massive hand around the large bar spanning the top of the backside, and pulled upward. The bench had six metal feet bolted into the cement, but with the brief accompaniment of sharp creaking and groaning sounds, the metal feet twisted and the bolts of the base snapped off as Naruto lifted the bench like it wasn't even attached. He walked forward and placed the stray bench in front of Sasuke, then stepped around and sat directly in front of him.

The blond placed his large hands around the seat of his bench and drew it forward, spreading his long sturdy legs so his meaty shins were pressing against Sasuke's bench, just next to the outsides of his own legs. Sasuke found himself staring at the large crimson tip of the erection pointing directly at his face. Naruto lifted his clenched right hand, extended his index finger with a swift snap, and made a jabbing motion toward the throbbing erection.

"Start."

The deep rumble that came from the blond's throat gave him a slight shudder. It belied his poised and dominant look, revealing a far more fierce and untamed creature lurking beneath the surface. The single spoken word of their entire awkward relationship had conveyed power and superiority as potent as any of his physical characteristics, and yet another little butterfly fluttered in Sasuke's stomach as the harsh utterance set in.

So that was his plan. Sasuke was going to get drowned like Naruto had, and he would be the one to do it to himself.

Before he could think otherwise, he felt the blond's large hands consume his own. He didn't resist as they were guided toward the throbbing erection. He could feel the heat radiating from it well before his hands were placed around its thick circumference. The blond slowly slid them up and down once, as if an example were necessary, then returned his grip to the seat of his bench.

Sasuke sat still for a moment, dumbfounded at his predicament. The thought of masturbating another male had never crossed his mind before. In fact, _any_ interaction between him and another man's dick had been completely off his radar until Naruto started showing up. And when it finally _did_ come time for him to grab a hold of the jumbo organ, it had only been for an act of retribution. Granted, watching the poor man on the bus get fiercely shut down when he made his cautious grab at the enormous erection had caused Sasuke to briefly wonder what it would feel like to hold something so big… maybe even to play with it for a while. But even if he had desired an opportunity like this, doing it under such punitive conditions was hardly enticing.

And yet, it seemed to be his only option. His legs were completely restricted, he couldn't shift his body more than a few inches on the bench, and he certainly didn't have Naruto's mammoth strength to somehow rip the bench from its bindings. All he had available were his arms, and all that was within their range was Naruto's knees and his erection. He _could_ attack the erection… but after watching Naruto smash it with all his might between his monstrous thighs at the park, and unleash upon it a pounding he was certain would have left him bruised and bleeding at the diner, it would have to be one _hell_ of an attack. And even if he _did_ succeed, would it be wise to risk enraging the blond? True, he had all but been abducted… and yet, he hadn't been outright attacked. For all Sasuke's attacks while being dragged and carried, the blond hadn't directly fought back. But it was possible that such a lack of reaction was only because Sasuke hadn't truly hurt Naruto. In those instances, his grandiose musculature had served as a sleek and resilient suit of body armor, absorbing and deflecting every assault sent their way. And even though the enormous organ within his grasp was obviously immensely durable, he had no doubts that its endurance would fall short of the staggering thigh muscle he had so thoroughly laid into minutes ago, nor did he have any doubts that it would be far more sensitive to any damage it _did_ take - which, at this point, would mean scratching off bits of the skin. No, enraging the blond in any situation would be foolish, but in this particular captive situation? Simply insane.

So for now, Sasuke would humor the blond and play the subdued captive. If he hesitated any further, Naruto would no doubt use other methods to make him cooperate. He could afford to go along with the blond's plan, at least momentarily. It would be a while until Naruto blew his load, and he would take it slow and steady to prolong his time even further. He could think of ways to turn the situation around while the blond was being pleasured.

Sasuke took a deep breath and adjusted his grip on the throbbing erection. His left hand rested a few inches above his right, both his thumbs positioned on the thick rubbery tube running the length of the underside. He squeezed his fingers, making the motion to pinch his thumb to his index finger, but his grasp could only encompass little more than half of the circumference. Beginning with a gradual pull, he slowly began to stroke up and down the enormous erection, watching the blond's eyes steadily close in satisfaction.

The warm skin slid under the palms and fingers of his cool hands. His slow motions easily glided along the silky smooth surface. It was an unexpected sensation for Sasuke. Words like _solid_ , _tough_ , _raw_ , _rugged_ , or _iron_ came to mind when he thought of Naruto's body. _Silken_ was never one he expected to be on the list. In a moment of idle curiosity, he removed his right hand from the erection and rubbed his fingers along the teardrop-shaped muscle spanning the few inches of thigh just above the kneecap. The skin there also had the same silky smooth texture as the skin on the erection did. The idea of such a powerful package coming in such a soft lustrous wrapping gave Sasuke another little butterfly in his stomach.

Sasuke shook his head, quickly returning his hand to the erection. He had to think. There _had_ to be a way out of this. He was a quick-witted and crafty guy. He'd always worked things to his favor, one way or another. The problem was, the obvious solution was _too_ obvious this time. The number one thing that Sasuke could use against Naruto had been directly handed to him. The blond had enough confidence to place his erection right into Sasuke's hands, and Sasuke was certain his confidence wasn't misplaced. There was no doubt that he wouldn't be able to turn the erection back on the blond when his wild ejaculating began. Naruto would _clearly_ be prepared for that. He also suspected any attacks he might make at the erection had been accounted for and dismissed as insignificant. Perhaps Sasuke could surprise Naruto once more - but again, enraging the blond in his captive situation may indeed be the most foolish thing he would ever do, so he ruled out any such attempts.

Unbeknownst to Sasuke, his rising tension had worked its way out through his actions, and when the first stream of precum that came pouring from the tip of Naruto's erection drew his attention back to his actions, he found himself stroking the large organ rather fervently. Catching himself, he diminished his motion and pressed the erection downward so that none of the precum driveled down the shaft and onto his hands. With all his might, he lowered it just over a few inches, but it was enough to serve his purpose. When the sticky seepage had finished draining past his knees and pooling on the concrete below, he released the pressure and let the erection lift itself upward again. The blond's head was lulled backwards in pleasure, his eyes fluttering briefly in and out of reality. He was now past the halfway mark, and the small puddle at his feet brought about other concerns.

For a moment, Sasuke worried whether Naruto would press the pulsating crimson head into his mouth when it came time to empty his load. Even if Sasuke timed his breathing and swallowing perfectly based on everything he'd observed about Naruto's ejaculations so far, the outrageous amount of semen being dispensed would surely overload his merely human capacities. The possibility of genuinely choking flashed through his mind. The blond wouldn't _seriously_ consider flooding his entire respiratory system, would he? Sure, Sasuke had sent him into an extended coughing fit when he sprayed his nose and mouth full of his own semen, but that had been more of an incidental bonus than the primary goal. No, no matter how angry Naruto might have been at the moment, he wouldn't risk inciting an official investigation into the culprit behind the young teen found asphyxiated from excess seminal intake beside the local strip mall - he would have left _way_ too big of a sample for them to trace.

Another stream of precum poured from the tip of Naruto's twitching erection and added to the puddle below. Sasuke kept up a steady stroking, trying to take it as slow as possible without making it obvious that he was intentionally drawing this incident out. Time was running short, but no good solutions were coming to mind. Maybe it would be best to just hurry up and get it over with? Maybe he'd trust that Naruto wouldn't attempt a move so radical that it would leave him the subject of the most awkward autopsy the Konoha coroner had ever undertaken? Maybe he should even attempt to initiate a negotiation? Sasuke was truly at a loss.

And then, in the distance, at the edge of the field where the parking lot in front of the mall began, a large black express van with darkened headlights swiftly and silently pulled forward into a nearby space. The dimming of the directional signals' ambient yellow glow indicated the engine had been turned off, and Sasuke paused his stroking for a brief moment to stare at the darkened windshield. Not a second later, a man stepped out from the door and began marching directly toward their spot, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

From what Sasuke could see through the ever-shifting highlights of the field lamps and building lights, the man was wearing dark baggy pants and a long-sleeve turtleneck sweater with an olive colored utility vest on top. As he passed by the light at the corner of the building, its glow revealed long brunet hair tied upward in a bristling ponytail that reminded Sasuke of the crown of a pineapple. He was also quite short, even compared to the large vehicle he had just stepped out from.

Sasuke found his attention torn between the two figures in his view. He quickly resumed his stroking of Naruto so as not to arouse the blond's attention to the sudden new arrival, but he also didn't want to catch the attention of the rapidly approaching individual, inevitable as such a thing was at this point.

Naruto was still blissfully lost to the ignorance of anything other than the sensations of his pulsating erection, and Sasuke gave him a few token strokes to maintain his pleasure. However, Sasuke wasn't particularly interested in being caught in such an act, no matter what the circumstance, and once it was clear that the man was getting close enough to be able to see what he was doing, he stopped his motion completely. Now unable to avoid focusing on the mysterious new arrival, his gaze scanned the man's face, the passing light of another nearby lamp revealing a horizontal scar spanning the tan skin across the bridge of his nose. With only seconds left before the imminent confrontation, Sasuke's hands slipped off the erection entirely and fell beside his legs.

As the small man stepped up directly behind Naruto, his right hand flew forward and grabbed the spiky blond mop. Naruto's head and neck immediately snapped back and his eyes sprung open with a look of surprise and shock as if he had been stabbed from behind through his lungs.

" _IDIOT!_ " The man screamed directly in the blond's ear. With a twist of his wrist, he pulled sideways on the mop of hair. Naruto stumbled up off the bench and next to its side, spinning around to face the man - at least, as much as he could with his head being held just above his waistline.

Sasuke looked to his left in stunned confusion at the unexpected confrontation. At first he wondered if the small and slender individual had some kind of morbid death wish, initiating a physical confrontation with such a disproportionately larger athletic prodigy. But there was no way a man of his size could pull Naruto by force - which means the blond must have gone along with it willingly.

"Step over here _right now!_ " The enigmatic man leaned forward and shouted into Naruto's ear, pulling him a few more feet to the side before releasing his hair and slapping his chin upward. Naruto slowly stood upright at the contact, but kept his shoulders hunched forward and face lowered as if attempting to avert the fierce glare being sent his way.

Whoever the man was, he had instantly smashed the blond's dominant bravado and left in its place a decidedly submissive character, now staring at the ground like a young child being scolded by an adult.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?!" The brunet roared upward at the blond. "What kind of _absurd_ and _utterly irrational_ thought process could _possibly_ lead to the preposterous incident I'm witnessing right now?!?"

Sasuke watched as he took a step toward the blond, waving his arms at Naruto in a condemning manner as he screamed even louder. For such a small man, he certainly had a deafening voice.

"Do you _ever_ think _anything_ through??" He yelled with another step closer to the blond, moving to the side to avoid pressing his chest into the persisting erection. "Do you have _no idea_ what the consequences for your blatantly reckless actions might be?!" The man took one last step forward, now standing face-to-abs with the blond, pointing a twitching finger directly at his lowered chin. "Has the word 'repercussion' continually failed to enter your narrow vocabulary, even after the countless _hundreds_ you've suffered for your flagrant stupidity??"

"I-"

The blond began to turn toward the man to address him, but as his erection began swinging toward the small individual, it was immediately slapped across its pulsating crimson head, sending the blond turning back to his original position.

" _Don't_. Point that thing at me…" For a moment, the man stared at Naruto with an intensity that seemed it could set a person on fire through sheer will alone, but then he quickly resumed his scolding. "Is it beyond your infantile comprehension to realize the arrant damage and distress your _wanton recklessness_ is causing?!" The brunet stepped back to wave his arms once more. "Was I an absolute _fool_ to expect you to have relational or communicative abilities above that of a _Neanderthal??_ "

Naruto began to turn to face the man. "But da-"

The livid man slapped the tip of Naruto's approaching erection again. "I _said_ , do _NOT_ point that thing at me!" The blond turned sideways and looked downward at the slap of the small hand.

The brunet let out an aggravated snort like a raging bull, and Sasuke could almost visualize the puffs of smoke blowing forth from the nostrils. "Never in all my years have I witnessed such _crude_ and _deplorable_ treatment of another on your behalf!" He stepped to Naruto's left side, now blocked from Sasuke's view by the colossal youth. "You're turning nineteen in a matter of _weeks_ , and this egregious behavior is as mature an interaction as your insufferable _'intellect'_ can possibly accomplish?! _Is this as far as you've come??_ " The man unleashed a brief volley of pens, batteries, markers, and other random objects from his pockets toward Naruto, while the blond simply let them bounce off.

"It's-"

" _QUIET!_ " The furious brunet took a quick step to Naruto's rear side, back into Sasuke's view, and gave the humongous teen a swift kick in the calf. The man may have been tiny, but his speed was immense, and his thick boots elicited a deep thud when they impacted the large muscle. "You have _no excuse_ for the outright unmitigated delinquency you just displayed!"

The man took another step to the side, now directly facing Naruto's bare behind. "Your inconsiderate misconduct is a _disgrace_ to the discipline that should characterize an individual of your status!" The small individual delivered another sharp kick to Naruto's calf, resulting in another deep thud. "Your contemptible impropriety has transgressed _all_ bounds of personal discretion and good taste, let alone appropriate relational conduct!" Yet another deep thud emanated from yet another harsh kick. "And most of all, you've done a grievous disservice to all the energy… all the dedication… all my labors in handling you!!" A final kick drew out the loudest thud yet. "What is _anybody_ supposed to think of my efforts with you when they see you engaging in such a juvenile interaction… _exploiting another person_ for your own misplaced sense of vengeful satisfaction?!" The man unleashed another volley of random household objects at Naruto.

As expected, the blond gave no response to the kicks, as they obviously weren't hurting him, and once again he simply let the incoming projectiles bounce off, this time with no attempted response other than to continue to stare at the ground in front of him.

"This is a complete embarrassment to _every_ standard of courtesy and _every_ relational virtue I've tried to instill in you!" The fiery man took another step to the side, now partially blocking Sasuke's view of the blond, and delivered another swift kick to the side of blond's other calf. "You're going straight home _this instant_ , and you're going to _re_ -learn… _again_ … how to respect another person's inherent dignity, even if you have none of your own… how to handle a petty frustration, as distorted as it may be… and how to communicate like an _educated human being_ , not a brazen barbarian! You won't _dare_ subject anybody to this kind of exploitation ever again, and you're going to get this drilled through your thick skull until you comprehend just what a rash headlong foolhardy dimwitted buffoon you've been!"

The furious man finished his tirade by launching another volley of objects at the blond, among them being what could have been his school supplies for the year. Where was he even getting these things? Sasuke watched a pocket calculator land on the ground after bouncing off the grooved wall of muscle where the love handle would normally be.

Once the small individual had exhausted his inscrutable stash, he threw his arms, fists clenched, toward his side, and stood directly to Naruto's right, just within the blond's line of vision. His hollering had abated, and he now hissed through clenched teeth. "There are people who, for reasons that consistently elude me, look up to you as a role model. And I'll be _damned_ if this kind of disparaging way of imposing yourself on others means they're going to be looking up in vain."

With a final resounding kick to Naruto's calf, he spun around to face Sasuke. The dumbfounded teen flinched as the man quickly turned toward him, but relaxed upon seeing a look of exhausted disappointment on his face. The small brunet took a few short steps forward and gave a slight bow, his demeanor suddenly that of a humble neighborly elder.

"I apologize for my son's complete inability to express himself in a civilized manner."

Lifting his head, he spun around and marched toward the blond, who Sasuke noticed was peering over his shoulder at him with a "do _not_ tell" look… though it wasn't an angry or demanding one as much as it was an embarrassed and pleading one. For a brief moment, the almost pouting look on his face gave him the abashed air of an overgrown grade school child.

With a snap of the man's fingers, Naruto turned his head forward and tilted it to the side. The brunet stretched his left hand as high as it would reach, grabbed Naruto's earlobe, and gave it a tug. The blond bent sideways at the pull, his broad shoulders becoming lopsided, slanting down toward the small individual at a nearly forty-five-degree angle. With another tug, the blond was stumbling haphazardly behind the man, legs and feet floundering and staggering in erratic and wavering steps, trying crudely to keep his footing while twisted at such an extreme angle as he was dragged toward the van while the vehement brunet continued to hiss into the large ear he currently held level with his head.

"You're in it now, you brat! I won't even call you 'young man' when you're behaving like such a child! And what should I do for your punishment after you've been re-educated, send you to your room for a time-out? Would that suit your current mental age?!"

As the bickering steadily became indecipherable over the increasing distance, Sasuke continued to stare in bewilderment as the very small and incredibly angry man pulled the extremely large and exceptionally naked blond across the sloping ground, his giant feet blundering and bumbling along some bizarrely twisted invisible path. When they reached the side of the van, the man released Naruto's ear and flung open the sliding door in the center of the passenger side with enough force that it bounced off the end of its track and began to slide forward again. With some more indistinct yelling and waving of his arms, the fuming brunet directed the now-standing blond through the door. Naruto leaned forward and began to get in, but stopped halfway, leaving his torso through the door and his bare butt sticking out. His left leg was resting its shin on the van floor while the right leg still stood straight on the parking lot asphalt. After a moment of pause, the short man began kicking the back of the standing leg in the upper thigh just below the butt. The blond hastened his entry, but apparently he slipped and fell over something, if the way the body of the van suddenly lurched to the right was any indication. The bottom of his legs now stuck out the door, feet pointed toward the ground. After some shuffling, they began to rotate upward, indicating he was attempting to turn himself around. However, the man started furiously slapping at the exposed feet and calves, and the legs were quickly drawn in as the irate brunet slammed the door shut and walked around the front to the driver's side. The van bounced side to side a bit more as the blond got himself situated, and soon the man was inside the van. After another brief moment of yelling and shaking, the van started up and sharply backed up from the parking space, making a quick stop to shift gears, then lurched forward toward the exit.

As the van sped away, Sasuke began to process the events of the last few minutes.

_'…What the_ hell _did I just see?'_

The stunned expression on his face changed to confusion as it began to re-link with his recuperating mental functioning.

Slowly, key words from the final exchange began to register in his mind.

_'…Son?'_

Adopted.

_Obviously_.

But that opened up an entire lifetime of family history.

And he wasn't sure that would be the right place to start digging for answers.

_'…Express himself?'_

Express what?

A giant guy going around masturbating in public and blowing inordinate amounts semen all over the place was supposed to mean something?

Or was it the brief abduction and being held at dick-point that was supposed to be the expression?

Sasuke shook his head as the absurdities multiplied in his mind.

The sound of tires screeching drew his attention to the road. The van had exited the parking lot, and was coming to an abrupt halt at the stop sign of the distant intersection.

Leaving seemed like a good idea. Sasuke moved to get up, but found his feet unable to reach the ground. He leaned forward to look down, but found his waist held back.

At the frenzied sound of tires spinning, he frantically reached out for the van with a look of panic on his face as it zoomed away.

"Hey!" he shouted after the van as it weaved around the corner and sped out of his view.

"Hey, get back here and untie me!!"


	6. Exhibit N - Chapter 6

Sasuke stood in front of the mailbox rack in the small brick entryway of his apartment complex. The morning sunlight shone through the large glass panels of the steel door and illuminated the small card he held in his hand. His eyebrow arched as he read over the brief message. Of all the potential aftermath of the last incident, he hadn't expected a proposition like this.

_Uchiha Sasuke,_

_On behalf of the Umino residence and in apology for your experience last night, you are humbly invited to discussion and dinner with our family this evening._

_Should you wish to attend, please arrive between six and nine o'clock. Your presence will be received with the utmost respect, and any amends you desire to be made will be attempted._

_Should you wish to decline, simply disregard this note, and no further contact toward you from anybody in this residence will be attempted._

_Umino Iruka  
_ _Uzumaki Naruto_

So that was the man's name… Naruto's dad's name.

Sasuke let out a slow breath of enervation. What a confounding pair. He had never considered what the rest of Naruto's family might be like, but even if the curiosity had crossed his mind, the small fiery man that had unexpectedly appeared and apprehended Naruto last night was the farthest thing from any guess he would ever have hazarded. Yet, despite the man's fury at that time, he obviously possessed a great level of compassion, as he had no doubt rescued the boy from some level of less-than-ideal circumstances. And if Naruto's wholly submissive attitude during their brief interaction was any indicator, he held the man in supreme regard. At the least, it clearly established that the blond was capable of respecting and deferring to those smaller and less powerful than him. Which, granted, was nearly everybody, but Sasuke took some relief in the fact that he could fairly contend with Naruto in ways other than the physical - since _that_ clearly didn't work the last time.

Sasuke flipped the card around to find the blond's address. He recognized the street name, and if he had his numbers correct, this was near the outskirts of the main city where the multitude of high-rise apartment complexes divided the downtown area from the smaller suburban districts like the one he lived in. He also seemed to remember this being one of the more run-down areas of the city; a miles-long crescent-shaped segment constructed entirely out of brick and concrete, its structures and pathways having been built decades ago and scarcely updated since. Again, if there were anywhere he would have expected somebody like Naruto to live, this certainly would have been his last guess.

Sasuke shook his head and turned toward the main hall. Following the mailboxes, it quickly split into two parallel staircases, the left one descending to the lower level and the right one ascending to the upper level. Sasuke walked upward and entered the first door on his right.

Directly ahead was the narrow but lengthy studio apartment he'd been living in since beginning high school. A thin hallway of shiny white ceramic tile spanned from the entryway to the living area, passing all the unit's basic accommodations along the way. To his right was an extended walk-in closet with a stacked washer and dryer unit at the far end, followed by a similarly narrow bathroom with a sink and toilet along its left wall and a shower stall at the end. Next was a slim archway leading to a kitchen not much wider than the bathroom. Its cabinets, stove and sink were attached to its right wall, no doubt for the purpose of sharing the utility lines with the bathroom fixtures, and at its end was a sliding glass panel that led to a small balcony. Its left wall only reached waist high, serving as a window to the dining area on the other side. In that area, a small wooden table with three chairs was pressed up against that side of the wall, and behind it was another sliding glass panel that led to the same balcony. The white tile that had spanned the utilities area so far spread out to cover the floor of the dining area, then transitioned to a light tan carpet as the main living area began.

Though narrow, its length allowed Sasuke to set up multiple "stations," as he called them. First, he had his relaxation station, for which he paired up a double-cushion pull-out couch against the outer wall with a small television stand against the inner wall. The stand was sparsely loaded with a moderately sized widescreen television, a DVD player, a console, and a few films and games. He wasn't overly amused by electronic entertainment, nor was he allowed much money for it, so he only collected what he considered to be the masterpieces. Next, he had his education station. Against the inner wall next to the television stand was a triple-bookcase that was far more loaded with content than its neighboring piece of furniture, and whose contents he used far more regularly. Paired on the opposite wall with the bookcase was a U-shaped desk that he used for reading, studying, homework, and other projects. The form of the desk allowed him to spread out multiple endeavors simultaneously, and a nifty swivel chair in the center of the desk allowed him to easily spin between them. He had his laptop set up on the wing facing the entryway, and multiple school assignments and supplies spread across the rest of the area. Directly following the desk, a lengthy wardrobe closet stretched from the outer wall toward the inner wall, leaving only a small gap the size of a doorway. Through this and to the right, his small single bed was wedged between the back of the wardrobe and the rear wall of the unit, and a small window beside the bed allowed the rising sun to act as his morning alarm clock. For a glorified hallway, he found the place quite sufficient.

Sasuke flipped backward onto his bed, tossing the card at his feet. He held his hand across his eyes, letting out a breath of exhaustion. What to do, what to do? He thought about staying home and trying to forget the entire ordeal, taking Iruka's option to decline the meeting and never be bothered by either of them again. A thought that lasted roughly three seconds. Some things you just can't forget, and he knew the questions surrounding the odd series of incidents would plague him for as long as they played over and over in his mind. What was the purpose? What was the motivation? What was the point? And why him? No… if he didn't go there tonight, his energetic imagination would leave him perpetually restless with the endless possibilities. He groaned in frustration and rubbed his fingers across his eyes. Curiosity killed far more than just the cat.

But would it truly be a risk? After watching Naruto get bawled out last night, he had a hard time considering him anything more than a nuisance. As far as he could tell, that man had Naruto tied up like a dog on a leash. A Pit Bull, yes, and possibly the largest and strongest one he'd seen to date - but a subservient dog nonetheless. And as long as that man had him leashed, this cat would be just fine.

Still, Sasuke went about his day with an air of apprehension. He wasn't concerned about an altercation with Naruto, but he had no idea what to expect, and therefore no idea what kind of reaction the upcoming events would bring out of him - and so, rather than let the possibilities overwhelm him, he decided it would be best to just hurry up and get it over with.

As the time reached five o'clock and he finished his work for the day, he began to get ready for his most precarious venture in years. He kept his standard white-and-blue dress combo, but swapped out his usual white cargo shorts for a classier khaki brand, and his usual blue t-shirt for a polo of an even deeper color. He wasn't concerned with Naruto's opinion, but he wanted to show a bit of class in front of the blond's dad. He had originally thought of it as "dressing up" - but then, wearing any clothes at all would have made him more dressed up that Naruto had been last night.

Once he was ready, he grabbed his keys and headed out to his car. As much as he preferred walking in favor of dealing with his consistently unstable car, his destination was too far away for a walk by now, and the cloudy gray skies threatened enough rain to leave him with pneumonia anyway. So, with a round of fitful sputtering from the engine, he started his aged beater and began his journey into the bizarre world of the Umino-Uzumaki family.

After navigating a maze of side streets for fear the car might break down on a main road, he finally made it past his suburb and into the bleak stretch of tenements with only three brief engine stalls along the way. The grid-like streets made it easy to navigate the area, and soon he pulled into a guest parking space in the narrow lot at the front of his destination.

The area wasn't a dump of filth and squalor, but it was indeed run-down. The tar of the streets and parking lots was nearly colorless from wear, and small weeds grew up from the multitude of cracks in the pavement. The sidewalks were the only thing separating the tightly fit high-rise complexes from the streets, leaving no room for grass or trees, and their gray concrete was in a similar condition to the pavement.

Sasuke stepped out of his car and stared up at the building with the correct address plastered in large faded-gold numbers on its front door and side walls. It was a ten-story apartment complex made out of tan brick. Small metal-framed windows rose in sparse columns up the side, and a pair of balconies also ran upward, each in the middle of what he presumed to be back-to-back apartment pairs.

Slamming his car door hard enough that it would actually remain shut, he walked over to the front of the building, pausing in front of the doors and taking an anxious breath before entering the small lobby. He had expected to have to buzz the apartment and deal with whoever answered, but instead he simply walked into small hallway that stretched side to side, with two wooden doors at each end. The cinderblock walls were painted white and the floor was layered with ugly brown tiling, both of which had experienced more than a few years of wear and tear. Directly in front of the entryway, a gray-painted metal staircase rose in a circular shape up toward the next level. Sasuke suspected he knew where to go, and when he confirmed that the apartment at the left end of the hall was 1A and the one at the right end was 1B, he headed up all ten stories of stairs and to the right of the highest hallway in the complex.

10B. 

He took another anxious breath. This time it wouldn't be wasted. He raised his hand to knock, but paused as he was about to rap his fist on the wood. He considered turning around and leaving entirely, but willed himself to knock before he could reconsider what he was doing. A multitude of nervous thoughts raced through his head. Who would answer? How would he react to either one? Would anybody else be there too? Were they also fraught with anticipation? It had taken him two hours to make the drive, and it was now past seven o'clock - had they spent an hour thinking he wouldn't show?

His speeding train of thoughts was quickly derailed as the door opened and he found Iruka looking up at him. The smaller man seemed to have quite the variety of emotions playing out on his face; relief that he had shown up, disappointment that he had to show up in the first place, a courteous regard traditionally shown toward any invited guest, and an annoyance at the person responsible for necessitating the invitation. Fortunately, the courteous regard won out over the other emotions, as the man gave Sasuke a brief bow.

"Welcome," he said as he stood upright again. "Thank you for showing up. Please, come in," he gestured toward the apartment and stepped aside to let Sasuke through.

Sasuke stepped into a small entryway with two closets on each side and a white tile floor surprisingly similar to his own. It led directly into a two-part living room - the left side had a computer desk loaded with a large array of technological gadgets ranging from computer hardware to what looked like security equipment and even some audio equipment including a small keyboard, while the right side had a large couch against the front wall, a small entertainment center against the far wall, and the door to the patio on the side wall. Straight ahead was a short hall that led further back into the apartment. The first wide opening to the left was clearly the kitchen, if the refrigerator against the far wall was any indicator. The door to the right was probably a bedroom, so the one at the far left would have to be the bathroom. It would be the best explanation for the linen closet to the right of the door at the end of the hall.

"I'm sorry you had to show up at all," Iruka said with a displeased voice as he shut the door behind him. "Sometimes, just when you think somebody you care for has got everything in order and that they're on their best behavior, and that all the time and effort you've devoted to helping them develop into a considerate and responsible individual is truly paying off, a situation like this comes up."

As much as Sasuke had expected some form of apology, he hadn't expected it to come from the man in front of him. "It's OK," he said after a moment, not wanting Iruka to feel that he was the one being blamed. "You had nothing to do with it."

"No, as the parent I'm at least partly responsible. I had a vague idea of what he was up to, but absolutely no idea of how he was going about it. I should have kept better tabs on him and inquired about specific details."

"Well," Sasuke shrugged. "Maybe." He wasn't going to argue, but he really didn't want somebody to feel guilty for a thing that another person did, no matter how closely related they were.

"Definitely," the man admitted as he passed Sasuke and stepped into the living room. Sasuke slipped his shoes off before taking a few slow steps onto the carpet. It was quite clean and fresh-looking, as were the walls and most of the furniture. At least people were able to keep their private units in far better condition than the public exteriors of the building.

"NARUTO!!!" Iruka yelled with the same fury as he did last night. "Quit hiding and get your inordinately dimwitted ass out here _on the double!!_ "

For a moment, nothing. And then, the knob of the door on the right side of the hall slowly twisted and turned, and the door gradually opened. A few seconds later, the large blond athlete that had been the subject of Sasuke's wonder and his ire all these last weeks reluctantly stepped through and turned toward him.

For the first time, Sasuke saw him wearing something other than a basketball uniform. He was dressed in a bright blue t-shirt with orange swirl designs on the front and sleeves, and tan khaki shorts that reached just past the middle of his thighs. Sasuke could tell the clothes were meant to be "baggy," but with somebody Naruto's size wearing them, they still ended up being rather form-fitting. The shirt wrapped around his muscle-capped shoulders and clearly showed his thick pecs as they pressed through the front, leaving only his lower torso unconstrained as the rest of the shirt seemed to hang from his chest, and the shorts did little to hide the sweeping curves of his large thighs.

It was one thing to see the blond in public, but seeing him now in this small home environment, he seemed even larger than ever. His broad shoulders had barely fit through the doorframe, and he had to nod his head downward an inch or two to fit under the headers of the frame. Yet, despite his strong presence, he looked incredibly embarrassed, avoiding eye contact by staring at the carpet instead.

Iruka snapped his fingers and pointed at a spot on the floor in front of the hallway. Naruto closed the door behind him and took a few steps forward to stand where the small man had pointed.

"Explain yourself," Iruka demanded with crossed arms. "And, for your sake, it had better be the best explanation you've ever given."

"Um…" Naruto briefly glanced up before his eyes darted around at random spots on the floor. "Well, I uh…"

Sasuke watched with idle composure as the blond stumbled for words. His deep voice was surprisingly soothing when he was speaking quietly rather than growling single words.

"OK, so…" he continued. "I wanted to get something from the library one night…"

Sasuke fought against raising an eyebrow. _This_ is what he came all this way to hear?

"But, well… ours is kind of small over here, and it didn't have it. So, I thought I'd check out another one." Naruto looked up, seemingly concerned that what he was saying was being received without contempt. "But… it was evening, and I didn't want to drive into the city cause of the traffic, so… I figured I'd check out one of the ones in the suburbs."

Now he was talking more naturally, but still in the manner of a child explaining his way out of trouble to a teacher who had caught him red-handed.

"Anyway, I ended up at the one out by you…"

Sasuke could finally see where this was going.

"It actually had what I was looking for, and I was going to sign it out… but then I walked past that reading area… I guess… you know, the one with all the tables and stuff?"

Sasuke didn't give a response, assuming it was a rhetorical question.

"Anyway… I saw you sitting there reading something. You were facing that aisle-thingy I was walking down. And… um… well, I kinda…"

Now Naruto had reverted to his nervous stumbling, and Sasuke tensed with anticipation, knowing this had to be the explanation he was waiting for.

"I kinda… thought you were really cute, so…"

This time Sasuke couldn't hold back his wide-eyed look of shock. ' _Cute?!?'_

"But well, you were also really into it," Naruto talked faster, apparently trying to move on from his little admission of attraction as fast as he could. "You know, the reading thing… and well, it didn't seem like you wanted to be bothered… so I just walked by and got my stuff."

Sasuke pulled back his look of surprise and let a slight frown form. Had he really missed a guy like this passing by?

"But then, I really wanted to see you again. So, whenever I had to get something, I went out your way instead. You know, like, library stuff, or some other stuff, or… well, I mostly started around the library, cause I mean, yours is better anyway. And I saw you a few times, but you were always so into whatever you were doing and I didn't want to interrupt, cause I knew you wouldn't be paying attention to me anyway, or you'd be irritated at being bothered… you're always really intense when you're concentrating on something, you know… so sometimes I just chilled in the car to see where you went once you finally left. Cause, I mean, it was the beginning of summer break, so it's not like I had much to do. I mean, I only ever hang out or play around when I don't have anything to do. Cause, even _I_ don't spend all day training and working out!"

Naruto said the last part with a hopeful grin, obviously trying to lighten the mood a bit, but not particularly succeeding.

"Well, anyway, I didn't, like… _outright_ follow you. I mean, sometimes I saw the direction you were going in and passed by when I finally decided to leave. But sometimes I was just checking out places and you came by, so I checked them out around the same times again and you were usually there. You've got a pretty predictable routine, really. And one time I actually passed you walking down the other side of the street once, but you're always staring at the ground when you walk anywhere, so you never noticed."

Sasuke glanced downward from Naruto's sporadic eye contact to consider his observation. It was true, he tended to be unaware of his surroundings when he focused on anything, whether it be working or traveling. But could he really have missed a guy like this _that_ many times?

Then again, he _did_ say he was in his car a number of those times.

"But, I thought it was really cool, the way you were so totally into whatever you were doing," Naruto continued, drawing Sasuke's eyes back toward him. "I like guys that are intense like that. And you were also really cute, and good-looking, and _totally_ fit. And confident too. Honestly, it was really hard to stop thinking about you. I wanted to… well, I wanted to hook up with you really bad, but summer was coming to an end and I had only just figured out your usual spots, so I wanted to hurry before school got super busy. And I wasn't, like, trying to stalk you… or at least, not in a predating way… predating… well, you know, like a predator? Preying, maybe? I just wanted to know the times you weren't busy working on stuff, cause I figured you'd be pissed if somebody bothered you when you were working, and I didn't want to get on your bad side for the first thing. So, I tried to wait for a better time to… you know… try to grab your attention."

And just when Sasuke thought he'd never have a more dumbfounding experience involving Naruto than every other time he'd thought the same thing after having a new experience with the blond, here he stood once more, having the most dumbfounding experience of them all. The guy had a _crush??_ On _him?!?_

Seeing as he wasn't getting any response, Naruto went on. "Which pretty much takes us to our first night at the movies. I was originally going to see something else, but then you showed up, so I changed my ticket and finally got to get together with you and… well, kick things off."

Knowing Naruto would have nothing more to say at this point, Sasuke shook the last bits of bewilderment from his mind and stared directly at Naruto with a blank face. In a perfectly even voice, he asked, "Are you telling me… that all of this… was your attempt to come on to me?"

"Well, yeah," Naruto answered as if stating the obvious. "I wanted to do something special for you, you know?"

" _Special??_ " Sasuke finally let his burgeoning confoundedness show through, and Naruto knew to be careful if he didn't want to agitate him further.

"Yeah, like, you know, something that stands out… something that isn't what everybody else is doing. I mean, people think standard routines are boring, right? It's just the usual, right? Just what everybody expects. It's like, oh look, a cute little love note, and it's even on pink paper, how typical. Or, oh, here's another guy with flowers, let me put them in the pile from the last fifteen guys. Or, like… you know, here's a little package with a bunch of frilly-thillies hanging off it, and… you know, it's… like-"

"What my idiot son is trying to say," Iruka interrupted, "is that his crass displays of public indecency were his misguided way of attempting to court your attention as a potential mate in a unique and therefore memorable manner."

"Yeah, I just… kinda wanted to do something that… you know, stands out, from the rest of… you know, the cards and flowers and all that. Something that would make me a bit more memorable than anybody else… or, like, any of the other competition… you know?"

"And he attempted to do that by displaying to you what he considers to be his most masculine, attractive, and irresistible features in the hopes that you'd be taken by your instincts and fall for him in an instant."

Naruto caught Iruka's piercing glare and looked at the carpet once more. "It was worth a try," he muttered.

Sasuke eyed the blond critically. "So… you randomly came across me one day and thought I was 'cute' … and rather than introduce yourself or even drop a note or a card, you decide to follow me around for weeks on end and start masturbating every time I come by?"

Naruto pulled his head back with a dejected look. "Well, it sounds kinda bad when you say it like that."

"IDIOT! That's _exactly_ what it was!!"

Iruka watched Sasuke throw his hands in the air and point at Naruto, unable to help the fond grin growing on his face as he saw the sparks of a temper that could one day rival his own. His son certainly knew how to pick them, even if unintentionally, and he felt a bit of relief at the thought of someone similar to him being around to keep Naruto in line during the times that he was away. At least, provided recent events hadn't completely destroyed any chances of friendship between the two, let alone partnership.

"As you can see," Iruka interrupted again, "this bonehead here tends to be ignorant of the fact that there's more to a relationship than just the physical side. Such as, stating your interest at the beginning so that the intended party knows what you're doing in the first place."

"Alright, alright, fine," Naruto said with a drag, "I should've done everything the boring generic way."

"No," Sasuke retorted, "you should've done it in a way that made _some_ level of sense!"

"What part didn't make sense?" Naruto asked with genuine confusion.

"Oh, I don't know… how about _everything that's happened since the moment you first showed up??_ "

"Well, it's like dad said, and I was trying to say. I really wanted to hook up with you and get to know you, so I was hoping to impress you and do something nobody else would do, or could ever compare to. Something that would put me ahead of everybody else who ever tried to hook up with you, but also do it so it didn't put you on the spot."

"Didn't put me on the spot?! You sat right next to me and started masturbating!"

"Well, what I meant was, I wouldn't outright ask you and force you to say yes or no. I thought that might be kind of awkward for you, especially for a first time encounter, so I just kinda put myself out there and up for grabs for you to decide on."

Sasuke resisted the urge to facepalm at Naruto's backwards idea of 'awkward.' "Even if that was true on the bus, what the hell do you call the diner?!"

"Oh," Naruto looked abashed, like somebody had pointed out yet another blatantly obvious thing he had somehow managed to forget. "Uh, that was an accident. I thought you were going to stay until I was done, but then you got up and started to leave before that, so I tried to rush and finish before you left."

"So blocking my exit by spraying your raging streams of semen in front of me as I'm about to leave a populated diner isn't putting me on the spot? And then shooting one of them on my legs when I _do_ decide to leave, and making me slip up and land in your mess in the process, _isn't putting me on the spot??_ "

"It wasn't supposed to be," Naruto muttered, pressing his fingers together in unease. "And besides, you shouldn't have walked through it anyway."

"It shouldn't have been there to walk through in the first place! Nor should your ridiculous boner have still been aimed at my legs when I _did_ walk through! And most of all, you didn't even stop ejaculating all over me, even after I slipped!"

"Well, I know, I realized that after. That's why I decided to make it up!" Naruto said with a hopeful grin.

"What do you mean, _make it up??_ " Sasuke was beginning to see how Iruka could blow his top so easily when dealing with Naruto.

"Well, at the park. I didn't even wank off the whole time between the diner and then, because I wanted to save up to give you the best show ever. I wasn't even sure you'd show up. I tried in the library the night before. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep up a boner like that, only to let it drop off when you don't even get to use it? Especially after saving up for so long?"

Iruka scowled in irritation and kicked Naruto in the calf just like the night before.

"Anyway," Naruto resumed his original train of thought, "I was happy when you finally showed up. But I was also kinda nervous that you'd just walk away. And then I got really excited when you sat next to me! I wasn't even sure it was actually happening. You probably didn't notice, but I tried pinching myself to make sure I didn't fall into fantasy land. I thought you had finally decided to give me a try! So I got really into it, and I was having my best night ever. I thought we'd finally get to talking after I finished. But then you turned on me… and, then, I got kinda mad when it got thrown back in my face."

"An act which you _fully_ deserved," Iruka interrupted once more, kicking Naruto in the calf once more.

"I know that now," Naruto said dejectedly. "But think of it from my point. Have you ever spent a long time working on something for somebody, only for them to reject it and throw it right back at you?"

"Think of it from _your point??_ " Sasuke all but yelled. "Did you _ever_ think about a _single thing_ you were doing _at all,_ let alone from _my point?!_ "

"Well, I thought… I mean, I _did_ think… just not about what it might be like for you though."

Sasuke took and aggravated breath and crossed his arms. "If you think I'm going to apologize for what I did-"

"No, you don't have to," Naruto cut him off. "But I will."

Sasuke regarded the blond with a curious, albeit irate look.

"About last night. I was still mad about the park thingy. I felt like I was making all this progress, only to get totally shut down in the end. So, I figured I'd give you even payback and end it there."

Naruto's suddenly serious and forthright manner of speaking abated some of Sasuke's ire.

"But I was being totally self-centered and, like you said, only seeing things from my point of view. I was so stuck on what happened before, that I didn't even think about what I did to make you do it. I should have known that what happened at the diner was really degrading to you, and that I should have handled making it up to you in a much better way instead of what I did in the park, and then so stupidly thinking that what you did to me in response was some kind of rude rejection, and then being even more dumb for getting irrationally mad about it. So… I'm really sorry about last night. I completely got what I deserved in the park. I embarrassed you in public, and you were well within your right to turn it back on me. Getting mad at you for that was totally out of line. I made a major fuck-up… and I hope that, maybe some time soon, you can find it in you to forgive me. Because, I'd still like to… maybe go out… or at least, be friends…"

Naruto's unmistakable sincerity had nearly disarmed Sasuke of his aggravation, but now he was simply perplexed.

So the guy… this top-of-the-top-tier athlete… this high school sports record collector who so totally dominated every activity he participated in… this clearly soon-to-be-renowned professional competitor who was no doubt the most popular person in his class… this guy was _into_ him? And he had spent months planning and attempting, albeit in the most absurdly incomprehensible way, to hook up with him?

Iruka, seeing Sasuke's stunned state, decided to step in. "Now I apologize for all the confusion you've had to go through, as well as the confusion of having all this unexpected and probably unprecedented information dumped on you tonight. After all, this big buffoon _is_ my responsibility, and I should have called after him to be sure he was behaving properly."

Sasuke only gave Iruka a brief glance of acknowledgement before he continued.

"That leaves us with three closing points. First, as a reference, and if it may concern you, I used to work for an undercover agency years ago. When he was younger, he liked to play spy games, and now, he still thinks it's cute to be like daddy - which is why he has a habit of sneaking around on a regular basis. And yet, the possibility of a simple GPS under his hood completely eluded him - hence my swift appearance last night once I suspected he may be up to no good."

Iruka checked to see that Sasuke was processing what he was saying before moving on.

"And that leads us to the second point. What Naruto did last night can be legally classified as abduction. Fire Country federal law defines it as a person who uses force to seize or take another person without their consent and thereby deprive them of their personal freedom as well as subject them to forced labor or services. Should you decide to pursue this avenue legally, you will receive no disdain or retribution from me."

Sasuke heard the man say that, but he could obviously tell that Iruka would be saddened for his son to be subject to such charges during his first year as a legal adult.

"Third, and finally. Despite his completely uncivilized way of expressing it, Naruto truly does have a genuine interest in getting to know you. For all the attention he garners, he's never expressed such an interest in anybody else until he came across you. Most people express an interest in him, not the other way around, so his immaturity in this regard is partly due to him never having pursued another person before. And though his actions no doubt require correction, I ask that you at least consider his intent in doing what he did."

"So, yeah," Naruto said, reverting to his subdued demeanor, "if maybe you decide we can just start over from scratch… that would be great… even if it's just as friends."

"Nobody's going to force you to make a choice right now," Iruka clarified, "so if you simply want to leave, feel free. But know that if you so decide, Naruto will never bother you again; he'll stay away from anywhere he may know you to be, and should you show up at a place he's already at, he'll immediately leave without any notice."

Sasuke glanced at the disheartened look on Naruto's face. He looked _far_ too sullen over the chance that somebody he barely knew was going to cut him off forever. _'I guess he really does have it bad,'_ Sasuke thought.

Just the notion of a guy like Naruto crushing after him like some kind of school boy was enough to make his head spin. Then again, he did have to keep in mind that, despite his immense stature and sheer strength, Naruto was still another teenager just like him. Nonetheless, what was it about him that had attracted this guy in a way that nobody else had ever done before?

Sasuke knew, once again, that if he left now, all the possibilities for answers to that question would continually be nagging at the back of his mind for as long as these recent events played out in his mind. But what if he decided to let Naruto get his wish and start a friendship with him? Perhaps even become a significant other?

He'd never been romantically inclined in the first place. He had no opposition to it; it simply never captured his interest. He considered it to be trivial, at least in his current phase of life. Some of his friends would poke fun at him for being single, especially when he had the looks and the shape to attract most any girl he wanted, as well as the calm and collected demeanor that, he had been told, made certain girls feel safe around him. He had lots of friends who were girls, and even though he had been plagued with fangirl clubs throughout junior high and into the first year of high school, they soon realized he wasn't going to be getting involved with any of them in that kind of way. Not because he didn't like them, but simply because he was disinterested in that kind of relationship.

And because he didn't even consider it with girls, the thought of having that kind of relationship with another guy hadn't ever crossed his mind. He supposed he had no fundamental disagreement with it; it was just another thing he never cared to consider. Sure, such a relationship wasn't exactly the norm, but that had never stopped him from engaging in something he felt like doing. He simply didn't think about getting involved with people in that way, even those he considered to be attractive. To tell the truth, he wouldn't have thought about it with Naruto either, at least if the blond hadn't outright made his intent known. Normally, he would be quick to turn down a proposal like this, but he knew that something about Naruto would make this kind of relationship different from any other one he would ever have.

Still, that left him with the issue of last night's encounter. He had been truly worried for a few moments during the ordeal. Even though he now knew there had been no real threat, Iruka's second point still stood. It was technically an abduction, even if it didn't involve a cargo van and a dark basement. The action couldn't be allowed to slide entirely.

He didn't doubt the sincerity of Naruto's apology. In fact, he was quite impressed with the blond's genuine appeal for forgiveness. But some actions had consequences regardless of how the offended party decided to handle the offender. In the end, he decided the legal route was a path he wouldn't pursue. If Naruto truly wanted to make it up to him, he could do it in far better ways than sitting in jail for a few weeks. Sasuke had time to be creative. After all, the guy was a bastion of physical ability and raw power, and he seemed desperate to get on his good side. Surely Sasuke could find ways to put that to work. There had to be so many things a guy with a body and a presence like that could do. Simple manual labor tasks. Busting up things that got in his way, or otherwise continually irritated him. Providing some amusement by casually showing off or performing random feats in public. Getting some "generous" favors from otherwise unhelpful people. Curbing the crude behavior of the occasional stuck-up antagonist. And if anybody ever tried to pick on him and he unleashed Naruto? That problem would be over before it started.

Yes, the benefits of having Naruto on his side and indebted to him were too great to pass by. And so, in a moment of reckless abandon, Sasuke made a decision that would entirely change his social life for the rest of the year.

"Fine."

Naruto looked up, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. "You mean…?"

"Yes," Sasuke grunted and crossed his arms. "I'm not going to explain. Just take it or leave it."

"Yay!" Naruto's arms pumped as he jumped with excitement. "Thank you, so much! I'll totally make sure you won't regret it!"

"I'll give you three weeks to prove you're legitimate and worth the hassle."

"No worries! I'll behave super good and be sure to not upset you! Believe it!!"

"Then you can start by not using such an irritating phrase."

Naruto squinted his eyes as Sasuke's pickiness, but kept his ecstatic smile on his face. "OK then!"

Iruka, somewhat surprised at the result of their discussions, gave Sasuke a curious stare. "Are you sure this is OK with you? You seem to have decided rather quickly. You're under no obligation to appease us in any way, you realize."

"Yes," Sasuke replied. "That's why I gave him a probationary period."

"Very well then," Iruka conceded. "However, regarding your three week timeframe, I should let you know that you might not have as much time together as you may want. After all, Naruto has _graciously volunteered_ as a one-man clean-up crew for the strictest and dirtiest clean-up jobs available over the duration of one week at each of the three places he messed up with his masturbating escapades."

Sasuke cracked a slight grin at Naruto's sudden expression of depression.

"He'll still have some hours available during the weeks though, as he's taking time off from his athletic training to perform his duties, and he'll have even more hours on the weekends due to the shorter operating times of the places he'll be volunteering at."

Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement. "I think I'll manage."

"Now then, if you're going to be getting involved in a relationship with this blockhead, there's a couple things you should know about properly handling him."

Naruto's eyes squinted in confusion before suddenly snapping open as he quickly gaped down toward Iruka with a flash of dread. "Awww, dad!"

"SILENCE!" The small man yelled as he stepped behind the large blond. "Sasuke, step over here please."

Sasuke, not wanting to disobey the man who could command an athlete of Naruto's stature as if he were a grade school child, obliged and crossed the living room to stand behind Naruto. The blond glanced down at him with a muted look of discontent as he passed by. Their size difference was once again highlighted to great degree as Sasuke stood behind him in this small apartment setting, and once again it gave him a little butterfly in his stomach.

"Over the years, I've developed and built in a couple of core functions to Naruto here," Iruka spoke as if he were a computer programmer presenting his latest application. "I began to implement them when it became apparent that Naruto's size and strength were beginning to grow off the charts, and that disciplining him like any other child wasn't going to be decidedly successful anymore."

Was he about to become privy to part of the way Iruka kept Naruto at his beck and call? Sasuke's attention was officially captured.

"By the time he was twelve and beginning junior high, spanking was already out of the question. And as you can obviously see now, such an endeavor would be futile no matter what kind of tools you lined up," Iruka said as he motioned toward Naruto's immensely tall and wide glutes that puffed out like balloons. "So, I had to get creative, and I wasn't entirely sure what to do until I heard a story about the methods that professional entertainers employ to train their circus elephants."

"Circus elephants?" Sasuke asked with a look of skepticism.

"Certainly," Iruka nodded. "You see, once they obtained baby elephants, the trainers would keep them restrained by shackling them to a small peg in the ground with a metal chain and a cuff around their ankle. When they tried to misbehave by running off, the cuff would gouge into their leg, and after enough attempts, they would simply stop trying. Now, cut ahead to the end of adolescence and into adulthood. The two-hundred-pound baby elephants have now grown into ten-thousand-pound adult elephants, and even though they're now capable of uprooting the average tree, the trainers are still able to keep them from running amok by using the exact same peg and chain from when they were babies. Reason being, they learned to acknowledge the purpose of the restraint rather than its power, and as a result, they simply acquiesced their own desires and activities in favor of the trainers' desires and activities once their ankle was cuffed."

Sasuke looked at the smaller man with slight bemusement. "So, you're saying… that you came up with a technique to make him stop whatever nonsense he's up to and get in line with whatever you tell him to do instead?"

"Indeed," he nodded. "It's the equivalent of a scolding and a spanking with the purpose of fostering a guilty conscience for any misdeeds committed as well as acting as a warning to reconsider his actions or manner of expression."

"…And how exactly do you pull a thing like that off?"

"Like this." Iruka turned toward Naruto, drew his leg back, then delivered a swift kick to Naruto's calf.

Sasuke's eyebrows raised in comprehension. "So that's why you were doing that so much every time you told him off."

Iruka nodded in confirmation. "It's by far the most effective way to subdue any rude or inconsiderate behavior of his. But don't worry - you won't actually hurt him. Even though the approach when training the elephants was that the cuff would cut into their ankle if they pulled too hard, that was never necessary with Naruto. I started with a moderately light toe tap, then upgraded as he became more durable. At this point, you could probably hammer them at full bore and only have to worry about breaking the hammer. End result being, you don't have to actually hurt him to successfully punish him and help change his behavior - since that's largely an insurmountable task in the first place."

Sasuke snorted in agreement.

"Now, why don't you give it a try?"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he glanced at Naruto then back to Iruka, who was holding his arm outstretched toward Naruto's backside, hand reaching out as if he were a salesman presenting his latest product.

"Dad-"

"Quiet!" Iruka snapped at Naruto's whine. "Now, Sasuke: stand about two feet away from him. Approximately where you are now is a good kicking distance. Position isn't particularly important, as long as you're somewhere behind him. After all, you don't need precise aim - it's kind of hard to miss these things," Iruka motioned downward at the large muscles at the bottom of Naruto's legs. "Now all you need to do is draw your best leg back and deliver a swift straight-forward kick."

Sasuke awaited further instruction, but Iruka's expectant look told him it was time to give it a go.

"Oh!" Iruka added as a quick afterthought as Sasuke turned toward Naruto, "and be sure your toes are pointed upward. If they're curled inward, you might break them if you kick too hard."

Naruto's brief glance over the back of his shoulder gave Sasuke a short moment of hesitation, but Iruka's insistence overrode it, and he launched a swift swing of his right foot into the huge muscle at the bottom of Naruto's left leg, hitting it just below it's thickest point, right where it popped outward from the area above the ankle.

"That was hardly the best you could do," Iruka admonished. "I told you, you don't have to worry about hurting him. Just let loose and give it your best shot. Also, it helps if you have a reason - which I'm _sure_ you certainly do."

And he certainly did. Now Sasuke turned toward Naruto and unleashed the hardest kick he'd ever given anybody. "That's for freaking me out behind the mall last night!" Sasuke hollered as he pulled back his slightly stinging foot. Kicking Naruto's calf felt like kicking a tire on the back of a truck. Still, the thud he drew out from it was just as deep and loud as any of Iruka's kicks, and this time the man looked satisfied with his delivery.

Although everything Iruka said had made sense to him, Sasuke was still surprised at the downcast look he could see on Naruto from behind. It really _did_ work.

"So anybody who knows this can effectively shut him down?"

"Oh, no no!" Iruka clarified. "It's only for those close to him, whose opinion and regard he values. I've made it a very personal thing for him. It won't lock him up if a game gets rough or he gets into a fight. If anything, he'll get mad at anybody who isn't a family member or a significant other doing a thing like that. And if his response to you was any indicator, he already considers you a part of that close and personal group."

Sasuke was surprised with that result, but avoided responding to the comment in favor of another question. "So, why the calf?"

"Oh, I just needed a point that was easily accessible in case he reached the height that his rapid growth led me to believe that he might."

Sasuke could only nod at the man as he answered in his most obvious tone.

"Now, for core function number two," Iruka continued, "I needed something focused on obedience rather than discipline. Something I could use to lead him along when he didn't want to, or didn't 'feel like it.' Something that could curb any defiance on his behalf. The solution occurred to me when I observed a mother cat carrying her kittens around by the scruff of their neck. No matter what the kittens were doing, as soon as she bit down to lift them up, they immediately went still and waited for her to lead them along. This was exactly what I needed for Naruto, and it was a rather easy technique to adapt. There's nothing quite like the classic grab-their-ear-and-drag-them-along routine to handle unruly children," Iruka smiled, obviously content with his success at managing his colossal son.

Sasuke smirked, almost on the edge of laughing out loud as he remembered Naruto being dragged off last night, stumbling alongside the much smaller man like a little grade school child.

"So, all you have to do is this," Iruka instructed as he stepped past Sasuke to Naruto's left side.

"Daaaaad-"

"Quit your whining!" Iruka gave the blond another swift kick to the side of the calf before returning his attention to Sasuke. "Now, as I was saying: just reach up and grab him by either earlobe," he explained with a demonstration as he stretched his right arm upward and extended his fingers, standing slightly on the tips of his toes to close the distance. Naruto seemed to flinch back ever so faintly, but Iruka reached out even more hastily and gripped the blond's earlobe between his thumb and index finger. "Once you've got this, he should lean in to your grip." Sure enough, Naruto was leaning his head and shoulders slightly toward Iruka. "After that, just give it a pull and lead him wherever you want."

Sasuke watched, partly in amusement and partly in fascination, as the small man easily pulled the large teen one step forward and further into the living room.

"Now, your turn!"

Sasuke once again widened his eyes as he glanced toward Naruto and back to an expectant Iruka.

"Daaaaaaaaaaad!"

"I said _quit_ your whining!" Iruka snapped at Naruto's interruption before motioning to Sasuke to switch places with him.

Sasuke sighed. He should have known after being asked to practice Iruka's first Naruto-management technique that he'd be asked to practice the second as well. Despite his interactions with Naruto so far, and the fact that Naruto acknowledged that he was majorly indebted to him, Sasuke didn't want to take advantage of the situation by providing an unnecessary nuisance right from the beginning. Naruto's puerile whine made it quite clear he wasn't happy with the current circumstances. Granted, he didn't sound annoyed as much as he sounded embarrassed, and Sasuke could almost imagine him griping in the same tone, 'it's not fair!'

No, these weren't the serious complaints of a genuinely offended young adult who would be going on the defensive; they were only the half-hearted protests of young adult being treated like a young child, and so Sasuke followed Iruka's instructions and switched places. He noticed Naruto send a meek pout his way, but quickly reached his right hand up and grabbed Naruto's ear before he could lean away.

"Good catch," Iruka complimented. "You may have noticed, he has a slight instinct to tense up and draw back when he expects a punishment, but just reach all the more intently and you'll have no trouble getting hold of him. Besides, you're tall enough that he won't be out of reach no matter how far away he leans."

Indeed, Sasuke was able to reach Naruto's ear without much of a stretch. Then again, Naruto had only about a foot over his height, while Iruka had to reach considerably farther just to grab the tip of the ear.

"So, all you have to do now is haul him along and he'll follow wherever you lead," Iruka said with a satisfied smile. "However," he was quick to warn, "you have to be a _little_ careful pulling this one, because unlike the rest of Naruto's body, his ear isn't packed with muscles - even though you may _think_ it is because of how little gets through its canal and into his head."

As much as Iruka's sarcasm amused Sasuke, the unusual situation kept him from displaying too humorous of a reaction.

"Now, why don't you take him for a test drive around the table there?"

Sasuke was quite aware that the question wasn't a question at all, so he shot a quick glance upward at a helpless-looking Naruto before stepping forward and giving his ear a tug. Sure enough, the blond began following his lead. He was surprised with how easy it was to lead the large teen along, and quickly picked up his pace, pulling him the short distance across the living room, then through the small gap between the couch and table. He looked back briefly to make sure he wasn't leading the blond into either piece of furniture, then pulled around the corner of the table to face Iruka.

"Well?" the man addressed Sasuke's uncertain expression. "Bring him back over here."

Sasuke gave the blond one last tug on the ear and deposited him in front of Iruka.

If only he'd known this tactic last night, he wouldn't have wasted all that time and effort on his futile attempts to physically overpower Naruto.

"Now, that should cover everything you need to know if you ever have any trouble with him misbehaving, stepping out of line, or otherwise doing anything you don't approve of," Iruka informed with a stern look. "Alternatively," his look lightened, "he also takes a slap on the butt as encouragement - though that's more due to his time on the football team than anything I've established."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and glanced back at the blond's large rear. He supposed he'd give that a try if the situation ever asked for it.

"Well, I'll be heading off to work now," Iruka said as he pulled a pad of paper from it and quickly scribbled on it before handing it to Sasuke. "Here's my number. I _expect_ you to call me if there's even the _slightest_ hint of misbehavior from Naruto. Clear?"

Sasuke nodded. Iruka shot a stern glance at Naruto, who also nodded.

"And Naruto," Iruka spoke in a voice that threatened hell to pay, "If I _ever_ get a call…"

"You won't," Naruto replied with surprisingly stern conviction.

Iruka eyed him for a few more seconds. Satisfied, he moved between the teens and toward the entryway closets to put on a dark green vest with his name stitched on the left chest and his firm's name on the right. He quickly slipped into a pair of heavy-duty black leather mid cut shoes, and gave the boys one last look.

"I'll leave you two to your devices. Sasuke, feel free to stay as long as you like. You'll be our honored guest whenever you're present."

Sasuke nodded as Iruka turned and walked out the door. He was curious what kind of work the man did at these hours, but didn't feel it was his place to ask just yet. Instead, he walked over to the couch and sat down on the far side. He looked over at Naruto, the jabbed his finger toward the cushion next to him.

The giant teen followed his lead and sat down to his left, putting his feet up on the front edge of the table, knees angled upward. His shorts slid further up his legs as he sat, revealing more of the thick chiseled muscles of his thigh. Sasuke again got another pesky butterfly in his stomach as their close proximity once more emphasized the size difference between the two teens, but he quickly shoved it down and decided to find out more about the outlandish blond enigma that had inadvertently become the focus of his attention so recently.

"So what do you like to do besides masturbate in public?"

"Well, train and work out!" Naruto responded with elated enthusiasm.

Sasuke shot him a deadpan glance. "Besides the obvious?"

Naruto glanced over at the computer desk. "Well I try to play keyboard now and then," he said, pointing at the keyboard on the far side, "but I kinda suck, and my fingers are so big it's really hard to not press two or three keys at once. I wanted to play drums instead, because I'm better at pounding on stuff than being all delicate and all that, but we're not allowed to have those kinds of things in here."

So, the guy had a moderately artistic side.

Sasuke certainly didn't expect him to be remotely interested in or inclined toward anything resembling art.

Well, except maybe 'designing' his body.

"You ever play in a group?"

"Nah, not really," Naruto shook his head. "I mean, one of my friends, Kiba, has got a little setup in his garage. He plays guitar and we screw around sometimes, plus I used to get to try the drums, and it was cool, but we don't have an act. At least, not with me, cause I'm not that good and I spend most of my time training anyway."

"So what do mean, 'used to'?"

"Used to what?" Naruto looked at Sasuke in confusion.

"Get to play the drums."

"Oh," Naruto's look immediately turned sheepish. "Well, I kinda kept breaking them, so…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"Because you already know me so well!" Naruto said with a cheesy grin.

Sasuke rolled his eyes even further, leaning his head back this time. He wouldn't bother to ask Naruto why he had to ask him so many questions if he already knew him that well. Instead, he decided to pull his left arm back and punch Naruto in the shoulder.

"Ow," Naruto complained as the speedy fist drew a deep thud from the large round muscle.

"What do you mean, 'ow'?!" Sasuke looked at him incredulously. It was only last night that he had attacked Naruto in every way he could think of without even drawing a wince or a grunt from the giant athlete.

"You hurt my feelings," Naruto said with a downcast look that Sasuke couldn't even begin to take seriously. Instead, he punched him in the shoulder again before continuing his questioning.

"So what other friends do you have that I should know about in case we ever meet them?"

"Well, there's Kiba, he's big into football and wrestling and weightlifting, I workout with him a lot."

Sasuke knew of him from his repeated appearances in the high school athletics section of the newspaper, and he had seen him first-hand at the diner with Naruto. The guy was built like a machine, and if it weren't for Naruto, there was no doubt Kiba would have been Konoha High's top athletic sensation.

"Then Chōji, he's kind of a butterball, but super strong. I also work out with him a lot because he's one of the only people that can kinda keep up with me, at least as far as weight training goes. He's not really athletic, but he plays football with us, because sometimes you only need a huge guy to crush the other guys. Oh! But don't let him catch you calling him fat, he'll flatten you like a pancake, except not one that's good to eat."

Sasuke couldn't tell if Naruto's unnerved expression was legitimate or not, but if it was, he'd be certain to never make a remark about Chōji's weight if the chubby teen's brutal response left even Naruto scared.

"Then this guy Lee, he's a super awesome fighter, knows every kind of martial art in existence, and he's mega tough too! I train fight moves with him most weekends. Doesn't go to public school though. And also these two girls, Sakura and Ino. They used to fight a lot, and they still kinda do, but it's either as friends or in a spar. They're actually pretty good fighters, not like Lee with all the moves, but Ino's pretty agile, and holy hell Sakura packs the second hardest punches I've ever felt!"

Sasuke hadn't heard of any of these people, so he kept them in mind in case of a later encounter. All Naruto's friends seemed really dangerous in their own ways, even the girls.

"Oh, and there's also this little freshman kid, Konohamaru. He came to me and pretty much begged me to train him. He's really tiny. About the size of my leg, heh. He wanted to get stronger cause he was so small and kind of an easy target for jackasses to pick on, so I just had to help him."

So, the guy had a benevolent side as well.

Sasuke wasn't exactly outright surprised, knowing as little about Naruto as he did, but he wouldn't have expected it to be on the blond's list of qualities. It would have been far too easy for a guy as huge and strong as Naruto to be an unstoppable bully, pushing around anybody he wants to at will, having people bring him their lunches, do his homework, drive him wherever he wants to go, and otherwise be his personal human toys to use however he pleases.

Sasuke was actually impressed with Naruto for helping such smaller guys become strong rather than lording his powerful physique over them or crushing their necks with his bulging biceps and rippling forearms.

Speaking of which…

"And what's with all the huge muscles anyway?"

Naruto gave Sasuke a relaxed glance and shrugged. "They help me do good at the things I want to do. Coaches and other people can see I've got long-term dedication and take my training seriously and always put in one-hundred-ten percent effort. They keep my life disciplined and healthy. They're fun to build. They look good. They impress people. Sometimes inspire them. Hopefully attract the right ones." Naruto quickly grinned at Sasuke before continuing. "I just like to do the best I can at anything I want to do!"

Then, in an unexpected follow-up, he looked away at the table with a somber glance.

"Also… I used to get beat up a lot when I was small. Some people always have to be mean to somebody, especially kids who don't know better, and when one person decided I'd be a good target, they all jumped in after him. And it happened a lot of places I went too. And it really hurt a lot… and not just physically. I never wanted to be stranded and helpless again."

Now, _this_ , Sasuke simply couldn't process. Naruto getting beat up? The notion just wasn't registering. He could imagine Naruto easily beating up a room full of his classmates in a twenty-on-one brawl. But the other way around?

Well… Naruto _did_ say 'when he was small'… but that notion wasn't registering for Sasuke either.

Still, he had to say something before Naruto's honest confession turned into an awkward silence that would leave him not wanting to make another one.

"Oh," was all Sasuke could immediately say. "Well," he pushed himself to say something useful, "I'm glad you got past that."

Naruto gave Sasuke a genuine heartfelt smile. "Thanks."

"And I mean, freakin' _past_ that! Jeez," Sasuke poked Naruto's arm along the deep groove between his biceps and triceps.

"Hehe," Naruto flexed his arm, making all the muscles from his hand to his shoulder pop and ripple as he brought his fist upward. "I told you these things were cool! Being big and strong rocks!"

"Yeah, about that," Sasuke began. "What made you so interested in me? I mean, really? I'm not being down on myself, but you're pretty much the ultimate male specimen that guys dream of being and girls dream of having. You could probably have anybody you wanted. So out of everybody, why me?"

Naruto took a deep breath and stared off in thought. "It's kinda hard to say, really. I mean, when you're attracted to somebody, you just somehow know it. They catch you by surprise, make you take a second look, maybe even make you forget to take a breath." Naruto took a thorough look at Sasuke. "I guess it's a good combination of a lot of things. I love the jet black hair, the way you style it. The soft white skin, it's totally flawless. The way you carry yourself, the way you focus so intensely. The way you look when do all that stuff you do. You're just beautiful in a way I've never seen. And like I said before, you're totally fit, and I can appreciate that kind of thing on plenty of levels, not just my own."

Sasuke was taken aback by the string of compliments, but still found himself confounded by Naruto's praise of his physique. "But don't you want another super-teen?"

"No," Naruto's quick answer showed he had already considered this and came to a clear conclusion. "I don't expect anybody else to be like me. I mean, there'd only be like, what, three or four people in this country that would meet that standard? I'm just guessing, because I haven't seen any yet. Besides, being me just kinda becomes a regular routine after a while. I'm not gonna say it's boring, but it's just my everyday normal. I don't want another me, I want something different. Everybody's gotta have their own role, their own thing, you know? I don't wanna compete with people for my own special spot, I just wanna be me and let other people be them."

Sasuke stared for a moment before accepting the answer. "That makes sense, I suppose. Still, it's obvious you're totally into that huge muscle thing, so don't you kind of expect that in somebody else you'd be interested in?"

"Nah," Naruto shook his head. "Like I said, I know everybody has different goals. I don't need them to be like me. Most of them can't anyway. I'm built the way I am, this is how I max out my potential. Other people are built differently, and they reach their potential differently. What gets my attention is the fact that they're working hard to reach their potential in the first place."

"So what about that Kiba guy then?"

"He's a cool guy with an awesome body, but that's it. He doesn't have the looks, the style, the feel, the attitude, the voice, or the personality that do it for me. He's a rough and rugged alpha boy. That works for a lot of people, but not me. I guess it's the cute guys with slick black hair, smooth white skin, lean fit physiques and intense focused attitudes that do it for me - but I never really knew that until I saw you."

Sasuke felt too flattered to roll his eyes at Naruto's stupid grin, but all Naruto's talk of guys brought up another question. "Aren't you interested in girls at all?"

"Girls are awesome! They've got such sleek bodies and great curves. I love how they have a totally different shape than guys, at least when they're in shape. But they can pull off being out of shape and still looking good way better than guys can. And they can pee without getting it all over the toilet too!" Naruto made a goofy smile at his bizarre but accurate observation before looking downward and pointing at his crotch. "But, this dude here has only ever responded to other guys. So, he kinda has the final say in what's really going to work, at least as far as those kinds of close and personal relationships go."

"Speaking of which," Sasuke interrupted with a hard gaze, "what the _hell_ is up with that ridiculous monstrosity??"

Naruto gave Sasuke a puzzled look. "What about it?"

Sasuke threw his arms open, palms facing upward in a 'what do you think??' gesture.

"Well, I don't know," Naruto said in a lackadaisical manner. "It's not like a muscle I build. It just kinda grows on its own. I have no say in the matter. It's like how tall I grow. I don't do anything special to make it happen. It just happens, and that's it."

Such a casual response for such an immense organ. "OK, but… like, how do you even use it in that kind of relationship?"

"Oh, you have to get kind of creative sometimes," Naruto said. "You kinda split it in sections for different people to do different things with. I know it may sound weird to a normal guy, but this of it this way," he leaned in toward Sasuke with a grin. "How'd you like to have sex, have somebody wank you off, and masturbate all at the same time?"

Sasuke stared in stunned contemplation. "That…" Even the thought of so much pleasure left him without words. He soon shook his head and regained his voice. "And you've done this??"

"Well, no," Naruto replied with a disappointed look. "But, it's a possibility!"

"So have you ever done anything with anybody?"

"Well… no," Naruto replied with an even more disappointed look.

"Seriously?" Sasuke gave Naruto a skeptical glare. "You've never had any kind of sexual relationship with anybody? You, a guy who probably has people crawling over each other for a shot at getting in bed with you?"

"No, I really haven't," he said sincerely. "I mean, I do get people like that, but I've never taken up any offers, and after you turn enough people down, they mostly get the hint. There was just never anybody I was totally interested in until I saw you."

"And then you immediately whip it out and start masturbating whenever we cross paths."

"Hey, I told you what I was doing! I'm sorry it came across so wrong."

"I know, you made that quite clear. I get it, and I can at least partially appreciate the thought. But I still have one question. Now I know you admitted your fault… and apology accepted… but what ever possessed you to make me grab your dick and try to wank it off last night?"

"Because, you did it first!" Naruto accused.

"What do you even mean?"

"You were the first one to grab my dick. You can't blame me for your sudden turnaround."

Sasuke looked at Naruto, thoroughly puzzled - but then it clicked. That night in the park, he had indeed been the one to grab Naruto's dick, point it upward, twist it around, slam it into his chest and shove it into his shorts without the slightest indication he was even going to make a move. But he really hadn't been thinking of it like that - he was focused entirely on turning Naruto's semen-soaking job back on him. He had only considered the act of revenge, not the literal actions he was taking to accomplish that act. He really did have no ground to guilt Naruto for assuming he was OK with touching his erection.

"OK, you're right," Sasuke grunted. "I guess I fucked up a bit too."

"No, it's OK," Naruto admitted. "Like I said, I got what I had coming. Last night was a total mistake."

Sasuke watched Naruto's face, wondering what could make it go from embarrassment to such a lopsided grin.

"But… you were kinda cute when you were trying to beat me up…"

Sasuke's eyes went wide at Naruto's admission. "Is that _seriously_ what you were thinking the whole time??"

"Well, no," Naruto said. "I was just mad about the park thing and wanted to turn your little prank back on you. But that was before I realized what a stupid idiot I was being. It was when I was back here that I realized it."

Sasuke let out an exasperated breath. "You sure have some crazy ideas for what qualifies as cute."

"What's wrong with 'pretty much anything you do' as a definition for cute?"

Sasuke was trying to come up with a reply that wasn't or rude, when he heard a bunch of light ruckus coming from the bedroom. It almost sounded like there was something scratching at the door. He shot Naruto a quizzical look. "What's that?"

"Oooh!" Naruto exclaimed and jumped up off the couch. "I have a special friend I want you to meet!!"

He quickly ran over to the bedroom and door and cracked it open. A high-pitched yipping soon greeted the blond. He bent down, reached out and rose back up as if he had just scooped something up. A second later, he spun around excitedly and jogged back to the couch, a very small and furry critter wrapped in his large arms.

As he jumped back on to the seat next to Sasuke, the little creature hopped out of Naruto's arms and pranced over to sniff at the new guest. If the tiny body, short tan fur, and bushy tail weren't enough to identify it as a fennec fox, the giant pointy ears certainly were.

So, the guy was an animal lover as well.

Sasuke couldn't say it was unexpected, but as with many of Naruto's traits, he couldn't say there were typical for somebody like him.

"I think he likes you," Naruto grinned. Sasuke had apparently passed the fox's inspection, and it had now jumped into his lap and stood up, placing its paws on Sasuke's stomach and poking its nose into his chin.

"Um," Sasuke mumbled in confusion. "So, what am I supposed to do with this?"

"Haven't you had a pet before?!" Naruto blurted in surprise. "Just pet it and scratch its ears."

Sasuke reached out hesitantly and placed his hand on the fox's back. It dropped down and sat on his lap. He began to stroke the soft fur, watching as the fox's eyes closed in contentment. "Actually, I haven't had a pet before. Despite how well loaded he is, my dad's never liked to spend money on anything he deemed an unnecessary expense."

Naruto gave Sasuke a downcast look. "That's so sad."

Sasuke shrugged as he scratched the fox's huge ears. "We probably wouldn't have been able to take proper care of it anyway. Especially not one like this," Sasuke nodded toward the creature whimpering happily in his lap. "And how did you end up with a thing like this anyway?"

"Well, we found him at-"

"No, I don't mean how did you purchase it," Sasuke interrupted. "I mean, a guy like you, being all into your huge muscles and super strength - I just figured you'd be the Doberman Pinscher or Pit Bull type or something. Is this thing even as big as your calf?"

"Does it have to be?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No, but… let's just say, it's an odd contrast."

"Doesn't mean it isn't a loving contrast," Naruto retorted as the fox jumped off Sasuke's lap and walked back over to him. He held his hand out flat, and the fox jumped into it, spun around once, laid down and wrapped its tail along its side, head resting at the tips of Naruto's fingers. "See?"

Naruto held out his hand with the resting fox atop. Sasuke couldn't help but crack an uncharacteristically charmed grin. The tiny fragile creature lying happily in Naruto's large strong hand was all kinds of impossibly cute.

"Now you're just cheating," he griped, but the grin never left his face.

"Oh?" Naruto asked with a knowing grin. "How am I possibly cheating?"

"Using cute animals to distract me from being annoyed or otherwise irate with you."

"Aww, you _do_ love my little buddy," Naruto goaded. "Well hey, you wanna share a pet?"

"What, you mean take him with me?"

"No, I mean, when you're here, he can be yours too!"

Sasuke looked tenderly pleased with the idea. "I think I'd like that."

"Alright, behold your new semi-pet, Foxy-chan!" Naruto held the dozing fox up to Sasuke's face again before setting it beside him. "Well hey, so tell me some stuff about you."

"What, you haven't figured it all out already?"

"No," Naruto said with a mildly miffed look. "I only figured out some of the places you go, not really anything else. It's not like I was _that_ into digging into your personal life. I mean, I kinda wanted to, but I have _some_ respect for personal privacy and letting people not share stuff they don't want to share."

Sasuke shrugged. "Alright… anything in particular?"

"Dunno," Naruto returned the shrug. "Where you're from, what you like, what you wanna do when you're older? Hobbies or activities? School life? Family maybe? Whatever you feel safe saying."

"I've always lived around where I do now. Only ever left the district for vacations. I like reading, walking, doing some training… though nothing like you. Play some games occasionally. School's fine. Do some work for environmental club, compete on chess and science teams, tried robotics this year. Figure I'll probably go to med school after this."

Naruto gave Sasuke an expectant look, but huffed when it was clear he wouldn't be getting any more out of him. "That was really… brief."

"Hn."

Naruto frowned at Sasuke and gave him a light fist to the shoulder.

"What, did I not answer your questions?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"I didn't say you couldn't ask any more."

Naruto saw the slightest twitch at the corner of Sasuke's lip and knew he was being intentionally vexed. "Hmph," he grunted, though partially in amusement. "Alright, what kinda training do you do?"

Sasuke rolled his head back. "I should have known that would be the first thing you'd ask."

"Yes, you should have!" Naruto's persistent grin had returned.

"I was in scouts. I always liked the wilderness activities. Exploration, survival training… all of that. Early on, I realized that the better shape you were in, the easier and more fun it became. So I went about doing what I could to get stronger and more agile. I did a lot of different types of training, from running to calisthenics to weights to gymnastics and free running. Got some self defense in there too. I was never on a team and I only got introductory help from school coaches or friends - and usually ones from schools I didn't even go to - but I learned everything they could teach me and made it work for me."

"Hey, that's really awesome! You really do a lot, huh? So hey, hey… why don't you play on any school teams?"

"Are you kidding? My school's a specialty school for advanced academics. It's meant to help people eliminate nearly three semesters of college credits before transferring if they take full advantage of it. It doesn't even have two hundred and fifty people in it. My grade has about seventy. Our 'band' is only fourteen members, and we only have a band because there weren't enough people to even fake a mini-orchestra. The notion of a place like this having any kind of athletic team is a joke."

"Couldn't you start one?"

"One what? It's not for lack of interest, it's for lack of athletes. I'd be the top one, and there's maybe four others who could do average at some sports. Well, there's one freshman kid who's some kind of bodybuilder, but otherwise he's not actually athletic. Nothing like you probably were at that age. And I don't know what kind of team we could fake with five, maybe six people. Plus, even if they were good at sports, it would end up being all different ones anyway."

"Hmm…" Naruto scratched his chin. "Well, you could come up with a really tiny cross-country team! That season's still coming up. Wrestling goes by weight class, you could just compete in the available classes that match your guys. And of course, basketball-"

"I know about minimum player requirements, Naruto," Sasuke cut in. "The point is, one single injury and it can put us out of competition for long enough that our season is cancelled. And it's an especially valid point if we go against guys like you and your buddies Kiba, Chōji, and the rest of them."

"Hey now, it's not like we ever set out to cause injuries!" Naruto contended. "Even Kiba's a good sport. He never intentionally injures people. We just go out and give the best we can! It's the only way to truly respect an opponent."

"So what's the total injury count between you two for your high school careers?"

"Well…" Naruto glanced toward his feet. "OK, but the point is, nobody _tries_ to. Accidents happen sometimes though."

"And that's exactly the point," Sasuke concluded. "Look, I'm not trying to shoot down your ideas. If we had some kind of sufficient athletic program, I'd be in it. It's not like chess or math are my favorite activities, but all students need at least two extracurricular activities, if not three or four, for our transfer applications to be sufficiently competitive. I'd trade any of those for a good sports team, but long-term career has to take priority, and an academic school like this just isn't geared toward athletics."

"OK, OK. It's cool," Naruto conceded. "So, hey, about careers… what was it you said about med school?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I'm considering becoming a cardiologist or a surgeon."

Naruto spun his head toward Sasuke, eyes wide. "Really??"

"Hn."

"Why?"

"Dunno," Sasuke shrugged. "Just like to help people."

Naruto's gawk slowly turned to a beaming smile as he took in what Sasuke said. "That's so awesome," he said in a subdued tone of amazement.

Sasuke gave Naruto a quizzical glance. "Why? You're suddenly so impressed."

"Because!" Naruto nearly shouted. "There's not a lot of people who just decide they want to help people, you know? And when they do, it's almost never to that kind of extent. And you gotta work so hard for it, and deal with how bad people can lash back if you ever do a single thing wrong! It's such a huge responsibility to take. That's… really amazing," Naruto gave Sasuke such a genuine smile that Sasuke couldn't help but be captivated by the blond's reverent gaze. "I'm so glad you decided to give me a chance. You're an even more awesome person than I ever imagined."

Sasuke wasn't quite sure what to say in response to such lofty praise. He hadn't expected to be getting so many compliments from Naruto in so many different regards. "Thanks," he finally admitted. "I'm glad somebody appreciates it."

Naruto looked noticeably confounded. "Who wouldn't??"

"Oddly enough, the people who should probably appreciate it the most."

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed for a moment before realizing what he meant. "Hey, hey… you never did say anything about your family. Is that who?"

"Yeah," Sasuke shrugged. "I mean, they're not disappointed or anything. It's just that policing has been a long-standing tradition in our family. In my immediate family, it's just my parents and my older brother, Itachi. But we have a lot of extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins and the like. And everybody's been involved in policing in some way, either as an active officer, private investigator, or even secretary for the department. My brother's aiming to be a detective. I'm the only one in the family who hasn't been remotely interested in law in three or four generations. So, no, nobody's disappointed or critical toward me. But they're not overly appreciative. I mean, a lot of people congratulate me and wish me well. It's just that they clearly favor my brother over me. My dad most of all."

Naruto unconsciously made a fist and pounded it against his palm. "They sound like jerks!"

"Not really," Sasuke countered. "Well, not all of them. My dad's got it fairly bad though. He's rather stubborn about tradition, and having it be correctly honored. He didn't like the way the department out here was running, so he was aiming to become the chief of the police and 'correct' the direction the department was heading. And he was one step away from becoming the chief, but the current chief, who was supposed to have retired, ended up keeping his position simply because of disagreements with the way my dad wanted to run things. My dad tried everything to get the current chief booted from his office, and when he couldn't do it, he got nearly everybody in the family to pack up and move across the country to a different department. That was right before I started high school, and since I had just established a good agreement with the one I'm at now, he arranged the small apartment for me to stay in while I finished school. That's why I've been living alone for nearly four years."

"Don't they even come visit??"

"Yeah, my mom does. My brother does too. He's totally cool with what I'm doing. We've always been best friends. But the distance makes it hard to stay in touch. They're all a few hours away, and with how busy he is with his studies, I only see him a few times during the semester. My mom's in a similar situation. Like I said, tradition's a big thing in the family, and part of it is women playing supporting roles in family rather than being self-sufficient, so she doesn't always have the means to travel out my way if she's needed elsewhere around the house… which is quite often."

Naruto clasped his hands together. "Man, for all your dad talks about taking over and changing the way the department runs, I ought to take over and change the way his family runs. See how he likes that!"

"If it were just a raw brawl, I'm sure you could."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at Sasuke's casual response. "You don't sound all that opposed to the idea."

"I'm not," Sasuke agreed. "And not only that, but if you could change the way he manages money too, that would be great."

"Why's that?"

"He's loaded, but he's an absolute stickler. He's got millions, but he only ever spares as little as he possibly can to anybody, and only for what he deems absolutely necessary. That's why I hardly ever have spare money after food and bills, reside in the smallest place that could adequately hold everything I need to live and work, and drive one of the most decrepit and malfunctional beaters in the town."

"Hey, wait," Naruto jumped in, "you got car problems?"

"Endless. The thing leaks through the doors, the passenger side door doesn't open from the outside, neither of the seats adjust, the engine is garbage, when it does start it regularly dies, the breaks squeal, and if you take it above forty it just shuts off. I had to take all side streets to get here because I don't dare take it on main roads, and especially not the highway. In fact, I'm surprised it only died three times trying to get here."

"And your dad won't help with any of this??"

"I told you, he only pays for what he deems absolutely necessary. He says everything I need should be within walking or biking distance, and that as long as I can restart the car after it dies, I don't need any repair jobs."

"He's an idiot," Naruto declared. "First thing tomorrow, I'm hooking you up with Kiba."

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"He's good with this stuff. He'll get you fixed up and running, no problem. Cars are a 'guy thing' after all, so he just _has_ to be a master with them. At least something productive comes from him being such a tool."

Sasuke snorted at Naruto's jab toward his brawny friend. "So how much does he cost?"

"For you? He's free."

A cautious look spread over Sasuke's face. "Really?"

"Hnnnn," Naruto leaned in toward Sasuke, mimicking his vague acknowledgements with a knowing smile. "Trust me. He's free."

"And would this have anything to do with some influence on your behalf?"

"It may," Naruto admitted. "Or it may not," he added. "Whatever the case, you get a functional car out of it. So what do you say?"

"Certainly not 'no.'"

"Good answer," Naruto winked.

A distant crash of thunder alerted the boys to the change of weather. Neither had noticed when the slight drizzle began, but the soft patter of the rain added a serene touch to the atmosphere of the night.

"Still though," Naruto broke the silence. "It's kinda lucky that you got somebody providing for you."

Sasuke considered the sentiment. He supposed he should take it from somebody who had apparently lived without it for a while. "It's certainly better than nothing," he admitted.

Both boys stared across the room, each one content with how well the night had been turning out.

"So am I OK?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know. Are you?"

"I mean, are we OK?" Naruto clarified. "Do you think I'm worth putting up with now?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Sasuke answered.

"Am I less impressive or more boring now that you're talking with me like normal?"

"Well, it's true you don't have that all-powerful unstoppable god-on-earth aura anymore. I'm starting to think of you more and more as another everyday teen… more of a relational equivalent… more of a peer," Sasuke answered carefully, aware that Naruto was hoping he wouldn't merely consider him 'average' after the night's events. "But you've still got that monster body. You'll never be unimpressive, and with your incredulous way of handling things, I'm sure you'll never be boring either."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke's answer.

"Although," he quickly added, "it was ridiculously hilarious to see you getting dragged around like an elementary school kid by a guy half your size last night."

"Bah," Naruto huffed and turned his face away from Sasuke, crossing his arms as he did so. "There's only one man that can ever possibly do a thing like that."

"Two now," Sasuke corrected.

"Oh hey, that reminds me," Naruto cut in. "When we were driving home last night, we totally forget I left you tied up. But when dad checked back, he said you were gone. Did somebody else let you loose before we came back?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Rope untying skill. Learned it during scout survival training. It's the basic of basics. It's just that your freak appearance and consequent apprehending made most of the rational side of my brain shut down until you had long since left."

"Ah…" Naruto looked embarrassed again. "I guess I have that effect sometimes, don't I?"

"Sometimes?" Sasuke gave Naruto an inquisitive stare. "When have you _not_ had that effect?"

Naruto scratched at the back of his head. "That's a good question."

"At the least, imagine if I had been the one to jump you, carry you along and tie you up?"

"But you can't carry me along in the first place, and tying me up to one of those benches wouldn't do anything anyway," Naruto asserted.

"Is that so?" Sasuke asked, ignoring Naruto's skeptical stare. "Well, for what it's worth, I can't say I was disappointed with the result of that night. Not just you getting the best tongue-lashing I've ever heard, or getting manhandled in the most ludicrous way I've ever seen… but, the way tonight's been so far as well."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke's comment.

"Although," he quickly added, "I can't wait to hear how your clean-up duties go. Maybe I'll even stop by the diner on one of the nights you're there."

"Bah," Naruto huffed once more.

Sasuke smirked. "I think I'm going be continually amused at how your dad keeps you in line. He's certainly creative, I'll give him that. Unrelenting too. Sure knows how to keep a guy like you under his thumb."

"Hey now," Naruto quibbled. "Iruka's harsh on the discipline, but he's not a hypocrite either. After all, I know a few of the hijinx he pulled when he was in high school," he finished with smirk and wiggling eyebrows.

The blond's playful expression made Sasuke pause and think about all the character Naruto had shown tonight. All the personality he had displayed. The wide range of emotion and expression, the attitudes from embarrassment to excitement to sheepishness to confidence… and the way he could actually communicate like a normal human being.

"You know," Sasuke remarked, "you're so much more interesting when you're not acting all aloof and impassive."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, caught off guard by Sasuke's random admission.

"I mean that your dad has a point," Sasuke clarified. "There's more to a relationship than just the physical. Don't get me wrong, your body's absolutely astounding. But I hardly found out anything about what you're really like until this last hour. You've been so much more engaging while just sitting and talking than you were while you were zoned out and mindlessly masturbating. Your physical… assets… are a huge draw, for sure. But now I know who the body's attached to, and that's what makes it the most attractive."

"Hmmm," Naruto leaned his back in contemplation. "You know, I was going to get around to the talking part eventually. I just wanted to be sure I had your attention totally captured first."

"Naruto," Sasuke sighed, "you could do that simply by walking into the room."

"Maybe. That could be a good start. But I figured I could do it better once you knew _everything_ I had to offer. Plus, if we _did_ end up hooking up, then sharing our bodies, at least somewhat, would be a part of it."

"But I didn't know who I would be sharing it with. That's the whole point," Sasuke said. "But now I know. And that's what makes it acceptable in the end."

"Well then," Naruto said with a satisfied smile. "Mine's open to you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

Naruto shrugged. "However you feel like it. I don't get the impression that you're some kind of sex fiend. You're probably more the cautious explorer type. So, feel free to explore."

Sasuke stared at Naruto's enticing expression for a moment, as if to make sure he wasn't being teased. The blond was still seated to his left, hands folded in his lap, feet up on the front edge of the table and knees angled upward.

After a moment, Sasuke drew his eyes down toward the thick chiseled arms by his side. His first up-close-and-personal with Naruto had left him figuring that the guy's biceps were bigger than his arms, and as he reached over and stretched his right arm alongside Naruto's, raising his hand to clasp the blond's muscle-capped shoulders, he found his initial assessment to be quite accurate.

The large round muscle was solid to the touch, and its ample warmth carried easily through the bright blue fabric of the shirt. Sasuke rolled his hand from side to side as if giving a massage, slowly taking in the whole shape of it, before sliding his hand downward along Naruto's burly biceps, fingering the deep groove between them and the shoulder along the way. He grasped on to the hefty muscle as if he were holding a bottle of water and slid his hand up and down, lifting the sleeve of the shirt up to the edge of the shoulder in the process. Soon he reached his left hand up to grasp on to the blond's bulging triceps and tried to wrap his hands around the powerful arm, but couldn't close his grip.

"Hn," he twitched his lips as he tightened his grip as hard as he could, fingers making slight indents on the sinewy material of Naruto's arm. "This stuff isn't quite as rock-hard as I remember."

Naruto quickly raised his fist and flexed his arm into a right angle. Sasuke almost lost his grip as the muscles popped outward and revealed a whole new set of ripples. "Try that," Naruto said with a grin.

Sasuke let his hands roam around the arm for another minute before nodding in approval. "That's more like it."

Apparently satisfied, he glanced down toward Naruto's legs. He placed his hands on the long muscle sweeping the front of the limb, then slipped his fingers under the tip of Naruto's shorts to pull them up further. The entire thigh revealed, he rubbed his hands along the curved surface, taking in the contours and the shapes. As he slid his hand up the inside of the thigh, he stopped before reaching the crotch area.

"What's the matter?" Naruto asked once he realized Sasuke had frozen.

"Um, well… this is hitting pretty close to home," Sasuke admitted. "I mean, I remember when you were on the bus and those people in the back were watching you go at it. Then that one guy sat next to you and moved to touch your boner, and you immediately snapped out of it and grabbed his wrist… and gave him the most chilling death glare I've ever seen. Honestly, I was surprised you didn't completely crush his bones to dust, or even rip his hand off. So… it seems to me you're rather sensitive about being handled like that."

"Oh, no no no!" Naruto exclaimed. "No, that's not it at all! Believe it or not, I'm not some loose slutty guy who tries to get it on with anybody I can! See, I'm not just a master of discipline when it comes to training - I also control my personal life, because I think that if a relation's going to be special, then it should be unique, only shared between two people, not anybody else. There's nothing special about something that's been passed around between a bunch of different people, you know? So when I finally decided who I would share my body with, I decided it was only you. Those shows I did were only for you. I didn't care what anybody else thought. So when that guy came over and made a move at me, I got mad because he was going to take something I only meant for you. This is yours to touch and play with however you like. It's exclusive to you. Nobody else gets to share it. Not without your permission, at least. And since you didn't give him your permission, I shut him down immediately. And I'll do it to anybody else who makes a move on me that you don't like."

Sasuke found himself taken aback by the consideration that the guy had apparently possessed all along - but of course, he opted to not let it get the better of him and quickly schooled his features into his usual calm and collected persona, lest he lead the blond to believe he could truly be charmed in a single night.

"You know, Naruto," Sasuke remarked, "if you keep saying things that are actually thoughtful and make sense, I may have to start counting them on my second hand before the night's over."

"Speaking of which, were you going to be leaving any time soon? Cause remember, dad said you could stay as long as you want."

"Well I'm certainly not driving _that_ thing home at _this_ hour, not to mention in this weather," Sasuke nodded toward the window that was now beginning to get pelted with rain drops blown askew in the increasingly brisk winds. "Either you take me home and bring me back next morning, or I stay the night."

Naruto grinned an all-too-giddy grin. "I'm good with number two."

Sasuke punched Naruto in the shoulder. "Don't forget, you're on probation. You can share your body as much as you want. But mine's not yours for the taking. Not just yet."

"We can work on that," Naruto wiggled his brows.

Sasuke punched Naruto in the shoulder again. Perhaps he would make this his own Naruto-management technique, similar to Iruka's kicks to the calf, but as a reprimand for making stupidly suggestive comments instead.

"I know, I know," Naruto sighed and stared down the hallway. "Well, actually, I was going to go wash up before going to bed." He began looking around the room. "Um, I guess you can play a game, or watch TV… or maybe play with the keyboard if you're any good," he motioned toward his left as he stood up from the couch. "Just don't mess around with the computer, dad's got all that kind of important stuff on there and he'll kill you if anything gets messed up. Or, more like, he'll kill me for letting you touch it, then apologize to you for having had to watch me get killed."

Sasuke smirked at Naruto's disheartened admission.

"Anyway, gonna go," he said as he turned and walked toward the hallway, "be done in a few minutes!"

Sasuke had only watched Naruto's retreating form for a few seconds when a sudden impulse jumped through his mind.

Although he certainly had no self-confidence or body image problems, he would most definitely hesitate to show off in any way next to Naruto. That guy had the strength and physique area conquered, bar none.

And yet, Naruto had given him nothing but praise and adoration for his own physique, as well as assuaged any concerns he had regarding their obvious differences when Sasuke had brought up his skepticism toward Naruto's affections.

And so, he decided he would trust Naruto when he said that he didn't want another guy like himself, but rather, another person being themselves; when he said that he respected the individual effort more than the measurable results; and when he said he had never had the hots for somebody so badly as when he finally saw him.

"What, you're not going to let me come with?"

The way Naruto's neck practically snapped backward gave fair indication that he was just as surprised by what came out of Sasuke's mouth as Sasuke was. Maybe the blond's impulsive behavior was beginning to rub off on him. Maybe it had simply awakened an impetuous drive he'd long since buried in favor of the stoic attitude his family so prized. But, just like when he willed himself to drive out here, willed himself to knock on the apartment door, and willed himself to accept Naruto's friendship offer, all in spite of his seemingly valid hesitations, he now willed himself to initiate the physical aspect of the relationship, at least to his own degree, in spite of his concerns regarding how he'd stack up to the blond. He'd gotten over three major sources of potential anxiety today - he may as well get over the fourth.

"S-Sasuke?"

"You really _don't_ have much get through your ear canals and into your head, do you?" He asked as he got up and walked over to Naruto. "Maybe your dad was right. Maybe these things really are overstuffed with too many muscles?" Sasuke reached up and flicked Naruto's ear. "You heard me."

Naruto's shock wore off as he stared down at Sasuke's grin. He knew he'd seen that grin somewhere before, but this sudden unexpected development kept him from precisely placing it. Instead, he returned with a grin of his own. "Loud and clear!"

"Well then," Sasuke said as he grabbed the waist of his shirt and peeled it upward, "what are you standing around wearing clothes for?" With a quick tug, he pulled the shirt over his chin and tossed it on the hallway floor.

Naruto stared at Sasuke's bare torso with a lively gleam of exhilaration, looking like a small child taking his first trip to a candy shop. "Aaaaaah!" he exclaimed, leaning down to ogle the flawless porcelain white skin… and the sleek physique beneath. His new friend was definitely thicker and more cut than he had expected. Sure, he had anticipated a solid and chiseled body, but the density of the muscles and the depth of the grooves carved between each and every one was more than only the bare forearms and calves had ever hinted at. Naruto looked on with wide-eyed wonderment and ran a lengthy finger down the groove between the pecs and across the bottom toward the side. "Look at your cute little muscles!"

Sasuke watched in odd amusement as Naruto continued to run his finger along the deep lines between his abs. "You realize that, in the world of normal people, this is considered very fit?"

"Aaah, but we're not in that world now, are we?" Naruto leaned back up and wagged his finger in Sasuke's face. A moment later, he peeled his own shirt over his head and tossed it on top of Sasuke's, revealing his own enormous physique.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted as Naruto grinned and put his hands on his hips. "Were we washing or posing?"

"Your call." Naruto said. "And what says we can't do both?"

" _I_ say," Sasuke replied with finality. "Now get moving."

"Alright, alright!" Naruto dropped his pose and opened the door to his room, grabbing the shirts from the hallway floor and stepping inside. "Here. Dad'll throw a fit if we leave a mess laying around."

"You mean if _you_ leave a mess laying around," Sasuke said as he followed Naruto into his room.

Naruto leaned his head back and stuck his tongue out, then threw the shirts into a closet on his left. Sasuke's eyes traced his motion as he took in the new room.

He wasn't surprised to see that the centerpiece of the layout was a large blue floor mat that Naruto no doubt used for some kind of calisthenics training. A long closet full of outfits, bed sheets, sports equipment, and now discarded shirts spanned the wall to the left, running parallel with the hallway. Sasuke browsed through the mess on the closet floor and spotted some golden glimmers from behind a rumpled up blanket strewn across the far corner. "What's under that?"

"Hm?" Naruto looked at the corner where Sasuke was pointing. "Oh, that's a bunch of trophies and awards from sports and stuff." He reached down and pulled the blanket out from the closet, tossing it on the floor mat to reveal an accumulation of assorted small golden-colored statues, cups, plaques, and medals piled haphazardly about the floor.

"Jeez," Sasuke couldn't help but gawk. "You've got like a hundred of them!"

"Mm-hmm," Naruto nodded.

"And you just throw them in the closet and toss dirty bedding on them?!"

Naruto shrugged. "Well, I used to keep them out when I was younger. But we didn't really have a huge load of room for a big display, so when I kept getting more, I only switched out the most recent ones and stuck the rest in a closet or drawer. Then after a few years I didn't bother any more. Once you get to like forty or fifty, it just stops being special, you know? Plus, I don't do what I do to hoard trophies, I do it to make friends and have fun and make myself better. I mean, I appreciate them and all, but if I got a choice between an award or an after-season party with the rest of the team, I'd be at the party, no question!"

So, the guy had a level head about his excessive athletic accomplishments.

Sasuke found it a welcome change from the overblown egos of student athletes who could barely begin to scrape at Naruto's levels of success.

"Besides, if it's proof of effort anybody wants, my body's my best trophy ever!" Naruto balled his fist and thumped his chest.

Well, at least what ego he _did_ have wasn't misplaced.

Sasuke bit back a sigh as Naruto crashed and burned his almost-humble moment, turning away to continue scoping out the rest of the new room. The wall next to the closet had a small desk with a medley of textbooks and notepads piled on top. It was some kind of cheap do-it-yourself assembly job, no doubt from a small office-shop store brand line-up, and he could imagine the entire thing collapsing if Naruto so much and leaned on it.

On the far wall, opposite the entrance, was a setup that reminded Sasuke of his own room. Two wooden dressers with top hatches faced forward, pressed side-by-side against the wall to the right, with a bed wedged behind them and against the rear wall. Only the foot of the bed was accessible from behind the left-most dresser, though unlike Sasuke's smaller single bed, Naruto's larger double bed felt more like a proper sleeping area than merely a cushioned closet.

However, what caught Sasuke's eye was the divider between the dressers and the bed. An aluminum curtain-tracking bar was attached to the ceiling, spanning the length of the bed from the head to the foot. A thick transparent vinyl sheet hung from the bar much like a curtain in a hospital bedroom, slipping down into the gap between the dresser and the mattress.

Stepping around the dresser for a closer look, Sasuke saw a similar vinyl sheet hanging from what was once a curtain rod on the rear wall. It covered a moderately sized window that ran from the foot of the bed to about two-thirds of the way toward the head. Without the original curtain in place, only a lone venetian blind controlled the view out and the light in.

Now at the foot of the bed, Sasuke noticed that the vinyl sheet hanging between the dressers and the bed didn't actually stop at the floor, but rather wrapped around the corner and across the floor beneath the bed, the four wheeled legs of the steel bed frame resting atop the sheet, before it finally rose up in a cusp against the baseboard of the wall beneath the window. The sheet hanging from the window also descended slightly past floor level, resting atop the larger sheet wrapped under from the tracking bar. Finally, Sasuke saw that, beneath the bedding that only covered the top mattress, a large vinyl wrap further covered the entire bed down to the bottom of the frame, fitting the bed like a giant mattress-sized shower cap, insulating everything but the very bottom.

"Care to explain this?" Sasuke asked with cautious intrigue.

"Ah…" Naruto followed Sasuke's gaze toward his bed. "That…"

The blond quickly dropped his masculine bravado for meek timidity, not wasting any time reaching his arm above his head and nervously scratching at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, see…"

Sasuke watched the giant teen scratch a bit more, then slowly pull his arm back down and start pressing his fingers together in a shy gesture that completely contrasted with his imposing form.

"Well… so… occasionally, I still have wet dreams… and…"

This time Sasuke didn't even try to hold back his sigh. "Never mind. Just save it. Let's get going already."

Stepping toward the closet, he unbuttoned the waistband of his shorts, slipped his thumbs beneath it, and pulled down both his shorts and his undies. They easily slid down his legs and fell at his feet. He stepped one leg out from the leg holes, and with the other, kicked them into the closet on top of the shirts.

Naruto again stared at Sasuke's bare backside with another lively gleam of exhilaration. As with his torso, his thighs were also unexpectedly thick and grooved. Which was cool, and all. But that butt! The shape… the curves… the roundness… the fullness. So developed… so conditioned… and the way it pumped and swayed as he shifted his balance and moved his legs…

"I didn't think you'd be the hesitant one," Sasuke glanced back at an enamored blond who looked like he just won the boyfriend lottery.

 _'Well, it's now or never,'_ Sasuke thought, hiding his slight twinge of anxiety as he turned to fully face Naruto, finally presenting every last bit of himself.

He considered himself a little above average _down there_ \- at least, compared to the other guys he'd shared locker rooms with. But again, this was Naruto he'd be comparing to. In the world of manhood, there were the normal guys, there were the porn stars, and there was Naruto. And even if the blond knew full well that he was in a class of his own, that wouldn't necessarily stop him from looking down on the lower classes. Sure, he said what he said about comparative physique differences, but did that extend to this as well?

"Hey, stop looking worried," Naruto interrupted Sasuke's wandering thoughts with a light grin. "It's perfect."

Sasuke must have looked doubtful at that statement, because Naruto came over and rested a large tan hand on his bare white shoulder.

"I told you, I'm me and you're you. And you look great as you are," Naruto said with a reassuring smile. "Plus, it's a matter of proportions. You'd look ridiculous with a dick my size."

Sasuke snorted at the image. He had to agree wholeheartedly. "I didn't say anything to the contrary," he insisted. "Now are you going to take a shower with your shorts on or what?"

"Only if you insist!"

"Well, I don't."

"OK then!" Naruto unbuttoned his shorts and slipped his thumbs under his waistband. Like Sasuke, he slipped off his shorts and undies in one swift motion; though unlike Sasuke, his thick brawny thighs prevented them from easily sliding down, so he had to guide them past his calves to the floor. And with a flick of his foot, he tossed them into the closet on top of Sasuke's discarded clothes and faced Sasuke in all his naked grandeur.

 _'So that's what it looks like when it's not a throbbing boner,'_ Sasuke thought. It was certainly still big - longer and thicker than any other erections he'd seen on any normal male (the occasional porn star aside). However, he could see how Naruto could make it through his days without drawing any attention from it - dressing in shorts longer than mid-thigh and with a bit of extra space, it was easy enough to adequately cover it up.

"Ready when you are!" Naruto announced.

"I've been ready for a while now."

"Well then, let's get going!"

"Sure, let's go," Sasuke said - but only continued to look Naruto in the eye. "One thing though," he added. "You were wrong about me not being able to carry you also."

Before Naruto could process the declaration, Sasuke had stepped forward, pressed his right shoulder into the side of Naruto's waist, wrapped his arm around the densely muscled midsection, pressed his other hand against the small of the blond's back, and hoisted him over his shoulder.

The fireman's carry was designed to allow one person to carry another without assistance by evenly distributing the weight over the carrier's shoulders and allowing their torso to remain upright, thereby preventing excess strain on any particular muscle. However, with a guy Naruto's size, even Sasuke could barely stand under the weight. He'd carried two other people like this before - one over each shoulder - but Naruto was still heavier than both of them combined.

"Whoa!" Naruto exclaimed in surprise. "Sasuke! No way!"

"Yes way," Sasuke insisted, taking his left hand off Naruto's lower back to slap him on the butt. "And don't even begin to gripe," he scolded, now placing his hand just above the blond's hefty calves.

Sasuke took strained breaths as he tried to balance Naruto over his shoulder. The guy was so big that he had to twist his back to the left in order to keep him from sliding off. Carefully, he began to walk across the room, taking slow and balanced steps, never lifting his feet too far from the ground, lest he begin to tip over. It had barely been ten seconds, and carrying this guy was already one of the most demanding physical challenges he'd ever put himself through.

But he wouldn't let that show. He kept up a steady pace as he carried Naruto through the door, somehow managing to guide him through without knocking either of his shoulders against the doorframe - an impressive feat given that they were nearly as wide as the frame itself. Of course, his victory was short-lived as he turned to carry the blond down the hallway and slammed his head into the side of the kitchen doorframe.

"Ow…"

"I said stop griping."

"Hey, I'm not griping! It's a nice view back here! Totally worth getting my head clobbered for!"

Sasuke briefly readjusted his hold to give Naruto another slap on the butt.

The blond let out a perverted giggle, which Sasuke promptly ignored in favor of carrying him down the hall and into the bathroom. The toilet was directly ahead, and to the right were the sink and the bathtub. With his final labored steps, Sasuke approached the bathtub, leaned forward, and unceremoniously dumped Naruto into the ceramic basin. The resounding thud was loud enough to rattle the walls and shake the floor Sasuke was standing on.

"So ungraceful," Naruto moaned.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted. "Are you just going to lay there, or do you want to get this going?"

"Well, if you hadn't just body slammed me, I wouldn't be lying here in the first place," Naruto mumbled as he got up. "Besides, you really should be careful doing things like that. These kinds of tubs can crack if you hit them too hard!"

"Would you prefer I hit you instead?"

"Nah, you might hurt yourself."

Sasuke responded with a punch to Naruto's shoulder. "Get it going," he said as he stepped into the tub behind the blond and drew the curtain closed.

"Yes, sir!" Naruto reached behind himself and twisted the shower knob. Hot water came spewing forth from the shower head, coating his backside and heating the cold ceramic beneath his feet.

Sasuke, on the other hand, remained dry. Naruto was so tall that the shower head only reached his upper back, and his back was so wide that none of the water sprayed past it.

"Well, I guess I'm going first!" Naruto reached down to grab the soap, but Sasuke's hand quickly gripped his wrist.

"What, you think I just came in to watch you? You were the one who said your body was open to share with me, right? You said 'feel free to explore.' So let me explore."

Naruto stared at Sasuke with a stunned expression, then dropped his arm to his side. "S-sure."

"Now spin around and get wet."

Naruto did as instructed, turning back to face Sasuke, body now glistening with rivulets of warm water. Sasuke reached his hands around Naruto's waist to dampen them in the shower stream. The water was so hot that his hands felt cold at first. It certainly didn't seem to bother Naruto, but he was certain he would turn red after a minute in it. The bathroom was already filling up with steam, and he was beginning to feel the heat himself.

Leisurely, he pulled his moist hands back and began to lather them with soap. Once they were thickly coated, he brought them up and pressed them against Naruto's pecs. The blond closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Sasuke slowly and gently worked his hands around the large blocks of muscle, working his fingers down the deep groove between the center and around the edges. He paused to lather his hands again, then placed them against the dense slab of muscle spanning the blond's stomach, once more tracing the grooves of the abdomen toward the waist, then caressing his way back up the sides toward the underarms.

Sasuke could see Naruto's dick beginning to thicken and elongate, but he ignored it in favor of washing his arms, slowly stroking the thick and powerful limbs from top to bottom as Naruto took short breaths of pleasure, eyes still closed in elation. He moved downward to his thighs, kneeling down and running his hands along the thick columns of carved muscle, taking in the separate bulges of each unique part, gently but firmly running his hands along the outward curves of the muscles spanning the front of his legs. His hands inevitably brushed against Naruto's growing rod, making it twitch forward every time, but he decided he would save that for last.

Finishing the front side, he worked his way down to the bulky muscles at the bottom of Naruto's legs. His calves, though large, were able to be fully washed front and back, and Sasuke gave them a hard slap when he was done.

"Turn around," he instructed.

Receiving no response, Sasuke looked up to see Naruto's eyes still closed in ecstasy. This time, he gave Naruto a hard punch in the shin, finally drawing his attention.

"Turn around!"

Naruto turned around, the stream of water rinsing the soap off his front side, and Sasuke moved up to washing the back of his thighs, running his fingers along the cords of muscle that spanned his knee to his rear. And then, those two big buns, puffed out like two balloons - but, as Sasuke rubbed his hands around their wide and sweeping curves, he wasn't surprised to find that they were nowhere near as soft as balloons. No, they felt more like cast iron slabs with an incredibly thin coating of rubber. He took his time wiping down those melon-sized muscles, but stopped as he ran his fingers along the crack. "I'll leave that part to you," he said.

Finally, he pressed his hands into the middle of Naruto's wide back, exploring that small landscape of crests and grooves, caressing the V-contour of its sides, taking in the raw power of the athlete before him.

Naruto was taking sharper and sharper breaths, eyes still closed in euphoria, and by the time Sasuke turned him back around to let him rinse off his backside, the blond's erection had risen to full length.

"Before I finish, why don't you get the rest?" Sasuke suggested, and Naruto broke from his stupor for a moment to wash off his face and butt. "Now then, to wrap up…"

Sasuke lathered on the soap for one last time, then wrapped his hands around the base of Naruto's erection, sliding them slowly up and down, perhaps a few more times than necessary, and rubbing his thumbs over the large crimson tip. The giant organ twitched in his hands as he slid them back down to wash off the last bits. The blond's balls were the size of kiwis, and he could barely wrap his hand around a single one.

When he was done, he reached behind Naruto, detached the shower head, gave him a final rinse, and placed it back in the holder. By this time, the bathroom was fogged up in a gray haze of dense steam.

With a grunt of satisfaction, Sasuke stepped back and looked at Naruto's throbbing erection. "Alright, exhibition boy. Looks like it's finally time for my own private show."

Naruto opened his eyes, staring as Sasuke in surprise. He hadn't expected Sasuke to ask for a show so soon, but was more than glad to give him one. "My pleasure!"

And Naruto indeed moved to begin pleasuring himself, but Sasuke grabbed his hands and pushed them back. "Ah, ah. You may be the star - but this time, I'm running the show."

Naruto shot Sasuke a questioning glance. There it was again, that grin he'd seen before but couldn't quite place.

"You wanted payback for the park incident, right?" Sasuke clarified. "You wanted to turn my own prank on me, and have me soak myself like I soaked you, yes? Well, what you said earlier… it's not like I don't know what it's like to have something I prepare for somebody get thrown back at me. So now that we're all sorted out, I'll give you what you wanted. This time, I consent." And that familiar grin continued.

Naruto gave Sasuke a wide-eyed look, but it quickly turned into a soft smile. "If that's what you really want. You know you don't owe it to me or anything."

"It is. And I know."

"OK then. It's all yours."

Sasuke sat on the rear edge of the tub. Naruto let out a sharp breath as Sasuke grabbed his erection and pulled him closer. Even amidst the steaming heat of the water rolling down the blond's backside, Sasuke could feel the warmth emanating from the giant organ.

Slowly, he gripped both his hands at the base of the erection and began sliding them forward, causing Naruto to immediately close his eyes in bliss. He tickled the top for a moment, eliciting another sharp breath from the blond, before sliding his hands back down, pressing them into the base with a forceful motion.

He repeated this action for a few minutes, then began rubbing his thumbs around the twitching head when he reached the top. After a few more strokes, he held his right hand at the top, thumb continuously fingering the head, while sliding his left hand up and down the shaft. Naruto's increasingly sharp breaths indicated he was performing well, and he moved on to stoking both hands in opposite directions, left on the bottom and right on the top, each meeting at the middle and mirroring each other at the ends.

But still, he had to get more creative. The blond had demonstrated all kinds of ways of masturbating that he had never imagined before. Then again, more than a few of them were unique to Naruto because of his massive length. But one thing he did remember - the guy liked it rough.

His next move wasn't a thing he ever expected to do, but he was fairly certain Naruto had never done it to himself, and given that he had just washed the enormous organ, he decided it was sanitary enough. With his palms pressed against the side, he gave it a slight push to the left, leaned his mouth forward, and firmly bit into the right side of the head with his leftmost teeth.

Naruto immediately let out a yelp of pleasure. Sasuke knew he had hit a sweet spot, and pressed it toward the right to take a bite on the other side. Naruto again let out a pleasured yelp, his waist pressing forward at the contact.

Sasuke immediately knew what to do, and took another bite just behind the head. It was equally effective, and he quickly leaned forward and began biting and nibbling his way up and down the entire left side of the lengthy shaft. Naruto gave one long extended moan as Sasuke moved along, and when Sasuke swung the erection to the left and repeated the action for the right side, Naruto gave another extended moan, voice wavering in ecstasy.

Sasuke finished with a firm bite on the center of the tip, holding his grip as he lightly bobbed his head and twisted his teeth around the warm flesh, eliciting yet more intense moaning from the blond.

Another move he never expected to do so soon came to mind, and with the tip of the erection already in his mouth, he decided to take the whole thing in before it started leaking its copious amounts of precum. He had to stretch his mouth as wide as he possibly could, but eventually the rear cusp of the head slipped behind his upper teeth, and the entire gigantic head popped into his mouth.

If Naruto was overwhelmed with ecstasy, Sasuke was overwhelmed with immensity. The sheer size of the thing was nearly overloading his mouth - its sides were pressing against his cheeks, and the tip was right at the opening of his throat. He was able to waggle his tongue side to side, and another moan of pleasure let him know he was doing good, but he couldn't lift it past his teeth. He also tried biting down again, but he could barely move his teeth at all, and although he drew yet another moan of pleasure, it was nowhere near the reaction he drew while biting up and down the sides.

After a few moments, he leaned his neck back and let the head pop out of his mouth. His jaw was already a little sore from just that short time, so he opted to return to using his hands.

He decided to take a page from Naruto's book and twist it side to side. With his hands back at the base of the erection, he tightened his grip and twisted his hands in opposite directions. Immediately, the first stream of precum began pouring from the tip and pooling on the floor of the tub. He continued twisting up and down the length, working out that last bit of sticky white dribble.

After a few more rounds, he stood up, took a step to his left, placed his right palm against the tip and pressed downward. Even leaning into it, it took all his might to press it down to a forty-five degree angle - but if Naruto's heavy breathing was any indicator, it was easily worth the effort.

As soon as he began rubbing the palm of his left hand up and down the length, another stream of precum started to pour out. Sasuke sped up his strokes, increasing their intensity until he was rubbing at the speed one would rub sticks to start a fire. And sure enough, the heat along the top of the erection was beginning to escalate as well.

After the stream had poured its final drop and Sasuke had left the top of the erection flaring hot, he let it spring upward, only to catch it in his left hand and slam it upward against Naruto's abdomen, pressing the head into the bottom of the deep groove between his pecs. He stepped to the other side, balled his right hand into a fist, and began pounding it up and down against the underside of the erection.

By this point, Naruto was in rapture, totally lost to the carnal gratification that Sasuke was inflicting upon him. This was pleasure beyond his own average masturbation sessions, and the fact that his first genuine crush was doing it made it all the more exciting.

Before he knew it, another stream of precum was pouring out the tip. Sasuke pulled the erection slightly away from his abdomen and let the sticky stream of liquid coat the long shaft. Once it had finished, Sasuke slid and twisted his hands around to cover what little bits of the shaft weren't already coated.

Next, he sat back down and took up his two-handed masturbation again. However, it wasn't his regular stroking - now that the large organ was covered in lube, he picked up his speed like never before. Faster and faster he went, moving up and down like his life depended on it. Naruto could only try to keep his balance as the buzz consumed his senses. A few minutes of prolonged intensity, and Sasuke was panting like he had just finished a bike race around the town.

And finally, Sasuke saw what he was looking for. Naruto's breath hitched in his throat, once, then twice. His eyes closed and his head tilted back, and Sasuke knew it was time.

He aimed the erection at his chest just as the first thick white stream of semen burst forth from the tip, splattering in all directions and pouring down his stomach. Though he knew well the size and power of Naruto's ejaculations, the sheer force still caught him off guard. He could literally feel a small dent being made in his chest where the stream was impacting. As the flow kept coming, he was reminded of the night at the park, where Naruto seemed to be even more loaded than usual. Then he realized, this must have been because Naruto was saving up for the encounter at the mall, but didn't get to release it until now.

This would be good.

As the first stream died down and the second one erupted, Sasuke grabbed the erection with his right hand and shifted it sideways, spraying from his left hand up his arm and across his chest, then switched hands to spray down his right arm and onto his other hand.

The stream ended just as he finished, and he quickly stood to let the remaining shots cover the rest of his body. The third, fourth, and fifth streams spewed over his abdomen and waist. He guided the next three down his right leg, then the following three down his left leg. There were two more shots sprayed onto his midsection, and finally, as the grand finale began to issue forth, he guided the propulsive stream of semen over as many uncovered parts of his torso as it could reach before the flow came to a gradual stop.

As Naruto slowly came back to reality, he saw a completely semen-soaked Sasuke staring at him with that familiar grin. Before he could even process this sensuous vision from beyond his wildest dream, Sasuke leapt forward and embraced Naruto in a giant hug, catching him completely off guard. As Sasuke's sticky wet body sloshed against his own, and his drenched white arms wrapped around the blond's neck, Sasuke placed his cheek against Naruto's and whispered in his ear, "a little present for my mighty masturbator."

As he gradually loosened his arms, Sasuke slowly slid down the front of Naruto's body, covering it from chest to calf in the glut of semen the blond had just spewed forth. Naruto could only watch in surprise as Sasuke stepped back wearing that same grin.

Oh, right. _That_ was where he'd seen that grin before - the night Sasuke sat next to him in the park and drowned him in his own semen.

Yeah, he should have seen that one coming.

"I believe that makes us even again," Sasuke declared. "Last night - but on my own terms."

Naruto sighed in defeat. "I'm going to be living this down for a long time, aren't I?"

"Yes," Sasuke nodded, "yes you are."

Naruto stared down at his own semen-soaked body. "Well, now what?"

Sasuke grinned, but not the mischievous grin he'd previously been wearing. "I guess we'll just have to wash you up again."

* * *

True to his word, Sasuke washed down Naruto's front side once more before moving the blond aside to take his own shower. He had maintained his stance that his body wasn't for Naruto's taking just yet, and told Naruto he could watch but not touch. Sasuke had partially conceived the mutual shower as a test of resolve for Naruto - one that would put him in the most compromising position physically and then see if he could restrain himself from breaking Sasuke's personal physical boundaries. He was also testing Naruto's acceptance of individually differing boundaries, waiting to see if the blond would insist that Sasuke should allow himself to be touched in the same way that he touched Naruto simply because Naruto had 'gone first' and that would make it 'even.'

Much to Sasuke's satisfaction, Naruto had passed his tests with flying colors. Even when he washed himself in the most erotic manners he could conceive - slow strokes across soapy skin, stretching and curving his body at lengths and angles all too obviously meant to entice, regularly closing his eyes and leaning his head back in pleasure, and even letting our small moans of contentment - Naruto had kept his hands entirely to himself and didn't ask Sasuke to reconsider his stance even once throughout the entire ordeal.

Of course, it had barely been five minutes into it before Naruto's erection made its raging return. Though Sasuke wasn't letting him masturbate, the blond did have to use his hands to hold it down so that it wouldn't poke the boy showering in front of him. Sasuke, however, was aware of the agony he was putting Naruto through, and once he had finished his shower, he allowed the blond an instance of relief when he decided to masturbate him once more. Even though he was certain he had thoroughly drained Naruto earlier on, it was less than a minute before another five long streams of semen gushed from the tip of the erection and splashed on the tile wall at the front of the shower.

Sasuke didn't want to ask, but suspected it was because of situations like this that the bath had a removable shower head attached to a long supply hose that could be used to spray anything in the room. It took nearly a minute to rinse the sticky white fluid from the walls and into the drain, even with the shower at full blast.

Once the boys had toweled off, they retired to Naruto's room. Sasuke decided he would share the bed with Naruto given the knowledge that Iruka would use the couch to sleep whenever he was present. Naruto's bed was large - but with Naruto in it, there wasn't much free space left. The blond had staggered over and flopped on his back, letting Sasuke know he was welcome to hop in beside him, and then immediately passed out.

Though Naruto had simply remained undressed after the shower, Sasuke decided to slip on his pair of undies before climbing into the bed. Despite being a summer night, the rain had left a delicate chill in the air, so Sasuke pulled up a sheet from the foot of the bed and wrapped it up to his shoulders. It was for naught, however, as Naruto soon rolled to his side and wrapped his arm around Sasuke's chest. The sturdy limb lazily pulled him toward the blond, and he soon found his backside pressed against Naruto's strong body. A moment later, a large leg slowly wrapped over his own. He whispered out Naruto's name, but the blond was long since asleep. He sighed and tried to relax in Naruto's grasp. The ample warmth emanating from the enormous body made it easy. Not having much choice, he let his head roll back onto Naruto's thick pecs. Had they been lying prone, he was sure these would have made wonderful pillows.

Resting in his new friend's comforting hold, he came to wonder just _how the hell_ he ended up where he was. It was only last night that he was caught in a heated altercation with the mysterious masturbator that had been haunting his outings the last two months. He didn't expect that, one day later, he'd be sharing a bed with that same guy. Yet here he was, and he couldn't help thinking he was all the better for it.

The day had been one big risk, start to finish. All the what-ifs that could have ended badly; making the journey over, knocking on the door, handling himself in front of Iruka, conversing with Naruto, accepting their apologies, deciding to give Naruto a fresh start, sharing his personal life, sharing a mutual shower… he rarely had to deal with such trying situations once every few months, let alone so many times in a day. It was unusual for him to step outside his reclusive comfort zone when it came to taking such risks. And yet, somewhere along the line, he grew comfortable trying things he normally wouldn't do, potential negative consequences be damned.

It made him wonder… but then, with Naruto, it was perhaps best to not ask why. Rationality wasn't a huge part of his personality, and it probably wouldn't be a huge part of their impending relationship either. Whatever came would be whatever came, and you simply took whatever would come if you wanted a part in the relationship at all.

Sasuke decided he was in for the ride.

If nothing else, this would be an adventure to remember.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_And that concludes this installment of Exhibit N!_

_Oh, what's that? Character development?! Yeah, I can do that too._

_Alright, I had hoped I would never have to say this, but; I apologize for the wait. Three months is way too long, especially with the three-to-five day standard I set with the first five chapters. I knew the semester was going to go haywire around mid-February, and I tried_ so hard _to get it done before then… but alas, I didn't quite make it, and as a result, I spent the last three months only adding a few paragraphs at a time, despite knowing exactly how the story should go._

_And admittedly, I'm surprised it went this far. To be honest, this was only ever intended to be a one-shot. Chapters two through six came around, after a bit of encouragement, as one possible way to explain chapter one. Kind of a fanfic of a fanfic, if you will.  But it's funny how, once you start writing something, it gives you more and more ideas along the same line. So with that in mind, there may be a part two in the future - focusing on their relationship, and of course their rather… unique… method of dating. If I do create it, I'll add it to this story rather than start a new one - and if it does come out, it would be in later fall, perhaps closer to winter - so if any of you have this on an update alert list, feel free to keep it active._

_Now, a few notes regarding the story (and some feedback about it):_

_Yes, the story has somewhat of a parody element to it. It wasn't meant to be taken very seriously. It was only meant to provide some outrageous and exaggerated fun, and while the fifth chapter went a bit more serious for a moment, perhaps leaving some readers to wonder if it would truly turn dark, I made the end scene to thoroughly smash that notion. In the end, like the show it's based on, I only considered myself to be a literary cartoonist while writing this story, and I'm glad most everybody seems to have picked up on that._

_That said, it's not as over-the-top as it may seem. Even though I intended to make Naruto somewhat larger-than-life, his looks are surprisingly grounded in reality. Regarding his height, I actually knew two brothers in high school who had both cracked the seven-foot-tall mark by the time they were seventeen (though only one played basketball). In this story, Naruto's only at six-foot-nine as he's turning nineteen - three inches below those brothers while also being two years older. And regarding his build, all I can say is that I keep up with the fitness and weightlifting scene rather consistently because I'm really into it myself… and some of the physiques these late-teens are building these days are absolutely amazing. I won't name any for the sake of associating them with something they may not like, but they put college guys like me to shame and then some. So, when putting together my take on Naruto, I basically combined these two extremes. Yes, I know, certainly not your average everyday people at all… but people that exist nonetheless._

_And believe it or not, Naruto's ejaculation sequences are based on a live video I saw. It had a guy sitting on a tile floor while wanking. He wasn't a fit guy at all - kind of chubby, perhaps a bit nasty. But then he started cumming - a big long opening shot, then fourteen "shorter" shots, each over a second in length - sometimes two seconds - and they were the thickest shots I'd ever seen. Some spewed upright nearly a foot, while others sprayed far in front of him. It went on for nearly twenty-five seconds. In the end, he was literally sitting in a puddle of cum. I was originally going to have Naruto shoot maybe three big long shots, but then I saw this video and said, "well, time to update the story!" So, if for some reason you want to see the video that inspired these scenes, you can look it up on MaleMotion under the title "Mr. Incredible Sperm Fountain 1" - but, warning again, the dude's not exactly "hot" and could be a bit of a put-off._

_That leaves the only thing I pushed to crazy proportions being Naruto's erection - but even then, I only gave reference points rather than precise measurements so that I could allow the reader a slight degree of "adjustment" as they might prefer (at least, within the excessive context I established)._

_By contrast, I wanted to use Sasuke as our ordinary everyday guy who gets unexpectedly caught up in very unusual circumstances so that he could provide a familiar point of reference that readers could relate to, seeing or experiencing things in a similar way to how he saw and experienced them. Hopefully his characterization was able to ground the story in a way that made it accessible to the ordinary everyday reader and bring a bit of sanity to the insane situations that arise throughout. Based on feedback so far, it seems my attempts were successful, so I'm happy to hear that._

_Anyway, that's about all I have to say. Thanks to everybody who reviewed and sent private messages. Your feedback is quite welcome - even the critiques - so I hope you enjoy this last chapter, and I also hope I'll see you around for the next story! Take care!_


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